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Super Contributor
Posts: 391
Registered: ‎06-19-2011

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

[ Edited ]

Update:

 

I went back to the gym today to work out  and I spoke to the day manager.  He told me he spoke to the guy about staying civil if he has a complaint. He said they came to an understanding.  He said if it happens again,  it forms a pattern that won't be tolerated. 

 

He also said the guy is a daytime regular there and that he had not seen that type  of behavior from him before so I likely won't encounter it again intimating it was a one off deal for this guy.

 

FYI,  the manager didn't say a word to me concerning talking. People in there are always talking. As I also stated earlier,  I usually always am solitary and I get it done and get out. Hubby and I don't even work out together. We meet in the lobby after a specified time to go back home together.

 

I was in wrong place at wrong time and was on receiving end of this guy's ire.

 

To the people that thought I should apologize to the guy who screamed at me to shut up, I still don't feel it's necessary on my part and I have stopped feeling like he owes me one, too. We're good.

 

To those here who threw barbs at me, the victim of a verbal assault rather than a polite request for quiet, I still hope you don't ever have to encounter this directed at you. It's mighty scary to have a stranger go off on you like that.

 

Peace out, ladies...

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,861
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

Anotherview....so sorry for what you went through at the gym, as well as any additional criticisms you received here.

 

I think you handled everything with class and grace.  And yes, it seems like you were in the wrong place when this guy was feeling grumpy...not your fault at all.

 

No, you don't owe him an apology.  He owes you one, but I'm sure you're not going to get one. 

I hope if you like being a member at this gym, that you can continue to go there, and put this behind you.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,877
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?


@caravaggio wrote:

Playing devils advocate here is my pov.

 

I teach on occasion Spin at our local gym as well as having managed and supervised over the years from that stand point I would look at both sides.

 

Was he rude in his delivery?   yes but he obviously felt you were too loud. Not saying you were just looking at his side. 

 

Would I go to management?  yes because they should be aware of a situation that may have the potential of escalating.  Having had to speak to members I always tried to have an open mind and hear both sides before speaking. 

 

Personally nothing is more annoying then working out and having to listen to someone else's conversation.  You may think your not distracting or loud but you could be. When I workout I don't want to hear other people. That is just me and yes being in a public spot that is inevitably  going to happen. The trade off of working out in public but that being said, I would hope my fellow gym goers would observe that talking can become distracting and using the excuse music and weights clanking is not pass to carry on conversation. While others around you are trying to concentrate. You don't know where this guys head was at. And just because you are a regular dosen't mean you get to ignore common courtesy of not interrupting others workout.


 

I agree.  Yes, he was rude in his delivery, but I find it really annoying when people have prolonged conversations right near me when I'm using a treadmill or whatever else. I certainly don't mind quick greetings or a short conversation, but I wear headphones and I watch TV while I work out.  It's terribly annoying to have people speaking so loudly to each other that I can't even hear the TV.  Long, prolonged, chatty conversations should be taken elsewhere.  It's distracting.  I'm keeping track of my time, my mileage, my heartrate, etc.  I don't need to hear long & loud conversations that would be more appropriate elsewhere.  

 

So yes, he was rude, but he was probably frustrated.  I've never said anything to anyone, rude or otherwise, but I have felt myself on the verge of saying something when personal, chatty conversations go on and on and on.  Lots of people who work out are "in the zone", and we all have to respect each other and the reasons why we are there.  (No, he wasn't respecful - I get that.  But I completely understand why he would have found a long & loud conversation to be inconsiderate.)

Valued Contributor
Posts: 949
Registered: ‎05-22-2010

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

[ Edited ]

@Sooner wrote:

I would have said "I'm sorry" to the man; said "I'll talk to you later" to my friend and gone back to my workout.  


I know this an option but seriously please explain why anyone would apologize to a bully like this man? I'm too honestly to proud to let talk to me the way this man did the OP. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,190
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

I haven't read all the replies but I believe the O/P did the right thing. That man was an arrogant, rude bully. Having belonged to health clubs for the past 35 years, I have seen all manner of disgusting behavior. It should not be tolerated. Management needs to know when such behavior takes place. A health club is not a library.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,503
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

[ Edited ]

Many people need to concentrate when working out.  I'd have told my friend I'd call her after my workout.  It's common courtesy.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,051
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?


@AnotherView2 wrote:

Update:

 

I went back to the gym today to work out  and I spoke to the day manager.  He told me he spoke to the guy about staying civil if he has a complaint. He said they came to an understanding.  He said if it happens again,  it forms a pattern that won't be tolerated. 

 

He also said the guy is a daytime regular there and that he had not seen that type  of behavior from him before so I likely won't encounter it again intimating it was a one off deal for this guy.

 

FYI,  the manager didn't say a word to me concerning talking. People in there are always talking. As I also stated earlier,  I usually always am solitary and I get it done and get out. Hubby and I don't even work out together. We meet in the lobby after a specified time to go back home together.

 

I was in wrong place at wrong time and was on receiving end of this guy's ire.

 

To the people that thought I should apologize to the guy who screamed at me to shut up, I still don't feel it's necessary on my part and I have stopped feeling like he owes me one, too. We're good.

 

To those here who threw barbs at me, the victim of a verbal assault rather than a polite request for quiet, I still hope you don't ever have to encounter this directed at you. It's mighty scary to have a stranger go off on you like that.

 

Peace out, ladies...


Thanks for getting back to us on the resolution. Nice going.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,538
Registered: ‎10-26-2010

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

As Vivian pointed out, it's a gym, not a library. It's not an establishment where I'd expect a quiet environment. Some people may be better off investing in their own treadmill/equipment and working out from the comfort of their own home. My husband and I each have our own treadmill...in different rooms.

 

Before he got that upset, he could have simply said, "Would you please lower your voices? I need to concentrate. Thanks." I don't think anyone would have thought anything about it.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,877
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?


@Daisy wrote:

As Vivian pointed out, it's a gym, not a library. It's not an establishment where I'd expect a quiet environment. Some people may be better off investing in their own treadmill/equipment and working out from the comfort of their own home. My husband and I each have our own treadmill...in different rooms.

 

Before he got that upset, he could have simply said, "Would you please lower your voices? I need to concentrate. Thanks." I don't think anyone would have thought anything about it.


 

I think we all agree that he handled it badly.  But what some of us are trying to point out is that it absolutely can be very distracting when there's a loud, prolonged, chatty conversation going on while we work out.

 

 "Gym noise" is entirely different than people talking on and on.  People don't go to a gym to have the type of conversations that are more suited over coffee or while out walking or in a friend's home.  And they shouldn't have to listen to someone else go on and on when they're trying to concentrate on what they're doing, and settling into whatever routine they have when they go to the gym.

 

I don't blame the guy at all for being annoyed.  I've been in exactly the same position and I've been really annoyed.  He absolutely could have been nicer about it.  But the OP seems completely unaware that what she was doing actually legitimately could be distracting to others.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,510
Registered: ‎10-27-2010

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?


@NativeJax wrote:
That's terrible. I think you handled it correctly but I probably would have gave him the finger and kept on talking.... Oh and your question about random rudeness...have you been on this forum much? Lol there are some pretty hostile people on it sometimes.

Giving him the finger would have made you just as rude as he was. And it could be dangerous these days.