Community Chat

[AngusandBuddhasMom]

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

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@AngusandBuddhasMom wrote:

Playing devils advocate here is my pov.

I teach on occasion Spin at our local gym as well as having managed and supervised over the years from that stand point I would look at both sides.

Was he rude in his delivery?   yes but he obviously felt you were too loud. Not saying you were just looking at his side. 

Would I go to management?  yes because they should be aware of a situation that may have the potential of escalating.  Having had to speak to members I always tried to have an open mind and hear both sides before speaking. 

Personally nothing is more annoying then working out and having to listen to someone else's conversation.  You may think your not distracting or loud but you could be. When I workout I don't want to hear other people. That is just me and yes being in a public spot that is inevitably  going to happen. The trade off of working out in public but that being said, I would hope my fellow gym goers would observe that talking can become distracting and using the excuse music and weights clanking is not pass to carry on conversation. While others around you are trying to concentrate. You don't know where this guys head was at. And just because you are a regular dosen't mean you get to ignore common courtesy of not interrupting others workout.

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@AngusandBuddhasMom

ITA .....   I don't know what's typical for that particular gym, but if you can hear a conversation from 3 treadmills away, the OP was talking too loud.  

People often want to do their workouts and mind their own business.    Yes, he probably could use a good pair of headphones, but that's neither here nor there.    

To me, this is the same as people waiting in a line and some dummy is on their phone, talking so loudly that everyone becomes involved, whether they like it or not.   It's really annoying.

IMO, a hello/goodbye is fine .... otherwise, take a break and enjoy your actual conversation somewhere else.   Not everyone wants to have to listen to you.

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Exactly well put!  

Also while the OP is a "regular" at night she fails to mention she went during the day. Two different vibes when going to the gym. Day and night are different animals as far as members and how they act.  She probably was talking loud if he could hear her 3 treads away.

Common courtesy is all that is needed. I don't think a sign needs to be posted saying to be mindful of your fellow members. Well she wasn't and got an earful. From his stand point she got back exactly what he felt having to listen to her conversation. JMO.

[NativeJax]

Smoky I can relate to that as my dad has a hearing problem and my sisters mother in law too...we are often told we talk too loud and we really try to tone it down some but we do have a habit of talking louder and repeating ourselves...it is not intentional in our part it just happens.

[Tinkrbl44]

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@AnotherView2 wrote:

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@sidsmom wrote:

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@AnotherView2 wrote:

.....go over to verbally confront him but, I'm glad that I didn't because it may have come to some violence.  

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Wow.

I was reading along going,

'yeah, I know exactly what she means'.....

then....this ^^^ was mentioned.  

Negates anything prior.  

That's a whole-lotta unnecessary emotion into a minor incident.  Immediately makes me think there's more, much more, to the story.

Was he right for raising his voice?  Of course not.

But....maybe he WAS  right.  

Maybe this wasn't the first time people were talking in the area.

And if you were talking about supplements & job search....that's a long conversation....more than a head nod & 'Wassup?!'

It would only take one time for someone to point this out.  

I would stop, apologize & move on.

I do know conversational noise can be VERY disruptive.

Just recently, in a room of 60 bikes, music on the loudspeakers, instructor cueing the routine....there were 2 gals in the back of the room quietly carrying on a conversation.   The instructor kept looking around...trying to figure out who was talking.   He finally had to turn off the music & ask "WHO is talking?  Please take the conversation outside!".  Six rows behind me...I could hear it, as well.  It bugged all of us. 

Even when you're listening to your iPod, if someone 3 treadmills down is quietly talking to someone...or even on their phone....it's VERY disruptive.  You can hear every word.  Don't know what's the science is behind that...but we just do.

Being a 'regular', the rules might have gotten a little loose. I would take the high road.  I would 'own it' and apologize next time I would see him & move on. 

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When I said it would come to violence, I mean on his part, not mine.  I thought of getting off and going over to confront by explaining that we WEREN'T being that loud, we hadn't been talking that long, etc.  But he was so filled with rage, he may have lunged at me.

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@AnotherView2

Sorry, but I disagree .....   You have NO IDEA how loud you sound to someone else's ear drums.   Your behavior was clearly bothersome.   If you want to have a real conversation with a friend, take it somewhere else.

[queendiva]

Something similar has happened to all of us, somewhere, at one time or another.  I have learned to respond my LAUGHING AT the rude, obnoxious so-and-so. Throws them off and stops the person every time.

[QueenDanceALot]

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@Sooner wrote:

One thing I don't get here:  Why are people so combative when someone says they are bothering them?  Is it a big deal to tell the friend "I'll talk to you later?"  Are we all so threatened when we can't do exactly what we want that this is a big deal?

Sorry, but if I'm bothering someone, reasonable or not, if it is easy NOT to bother then, it's almost always no big deal to comply as far as I am concerned.   I don't get the big whoop about this.  Yes, the guy is nuts, but it takes away nothing from you to solve the problem quickly and let it go. . . 

But that's just me.  It wouldn't be worth the stress to do otherwise.

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Very sensible point of view.

And yes, I do think that many ARE threatened when they can't do exactly what they want to do. 

I think the idea of confronting this person is just foolish and would serve no good purpose.  Just because he's a rude numbskull doesn't mean she has to respond in kind.

[Kardi]

As a gym member for 15 years at a good sized gym, I have certainly encountered situations that personally irritated me.  I've been working out and had loud conversations going on within earshot that I didn't appreciate, but NEVER have I told someone to shut up or even to be quiet.  Those people pay their membership fees just like I do and my desires aren't more important than theirs.  Besides, the next time I'm in the gym they will probably be nowhere in sight.  Self-centered,  rude, bully behavior is never okay.  My mantra is " Patience, tolerance, gratitude.  Life is good."

[Tinkrbl44]

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@queendiva wrote:

Something similar has happened to all of us, somewhere, at one time or another.  I have learned to respond my LAUGHING AT the rude, obnoxious so-and-so. Throws them off and stops the person every time.

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@queendiva

Yeah .... until the time you get a fist in your face,

[sidsmom]

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@AnotherView2 wrote:

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@sidsmom wrote:

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@AnotherView2 wrote:

.....go over to verbally confront him but, I'm glad that I didn't because it may have come to some violence.  

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Wow.

I was reading along going,

'yeah, I know exactly what she means'.....

then....this ^^^ was mentioned.  

Negates anything prior.  

That's a whole-lotta unnecessary emotion into a minor incident.  Immediately makes me think there's more, much more, to the story.

Was he right for raising his voice?  Of course not.

But....maybe he WAS  right.  

Maybe this wasn't the first time people were talking in the area.

And if you were talking about supplements & job search....that's a long conversation....more than a head nod & 'Wassup?!'

It would only take one time for someone to point this out.  

I would stop, apologize & move on.

I do know conversational noise can be VERY disruptive.

Just recently, in a room of 60 bikes, music on the loudspeakers, instructor cueing the routine....there were 2 gals in the back of the room quietly carrying on a conversation.   The instructor kept looking around...trying to figure out who was talking.   He finally had to turn off the music & ask "WHO is talking?  Please take the conversation outside!".  Six rows behind me...I could hear it, as well.  It bugged all of us. 

Even when you're listening to your iPod, if someone 3 treadmills down is quietly talking to someone...or even on their phone....it's VERY disruptive.  You can hear every word.  Don't know what's the science is behind that...but we just do.

Being a 'regular', the rules might have gotten a little loose. I would take the high road.  I would 'own it' and apologize next time I would see him & move on. 

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I thought of getting off and going over to confront by explaining that we WEREN'T being that loud, we hadn't been talking that long, etc. 

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The fact that confrontation was even CONSIDERED is very telling.

[AnotherView2]

Well, I believe there is a right way and a wrong way to handle most things.

Even if you are someone that feel he was justified in telling me to be quiet, since he had just arrived, wouldn't it have been more prudent for him to simply come over to me and nicely tell me I was being too loud for him? I know myself and would have immediately apologized and told her goodbye.  I don't like offending people. I'm not a nasty or rude person. There was no need to go off the deep end and shout at me like a lunatic.  We stopped as soon as he made a scene.

Hopefully the people who agreed with him and think I should have apologized realize that he was the bigger offender and the apology should have been the other way around.  He walked into the situation and should have said something nicely or spoken to mgt and told them to tell me to lower it or even stop.  I feel he owes me the apology.  Shouting "shut up" at a stranger is the ruder offense in my book.

[stevieb]

He was a jerk to handle it as he did and not just ask if you might tone it down and yet I sort of understand his thinking. I can usually tune out all the background noise, but find it annoying when people decide they have to chit chat in the exercise areas. I certainly wouldn't behave as did he, and, in fact, I probably wouldn't have said anything, but it can be distracting. Don't know how I'd have handled it, as I probably wouldn't have found myself in that position. That said, I probably woudn't have taken the next step, realizing that I played a significant role in creating the drama.