Community Chat

[Noel7]

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@luvmybeetlewrote:

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@Noel7wrote:

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@MoInVAwrote:

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@luvmybeetlewrote:

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@Blingqueen023wrote:

The only thing I’m going to say is this because no matter where we go to eat we run into screaming kids and the parents sit there and do nothing.  Throw rocks at me, but most parents today Stink, with a capital S.

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When my son was young enough to sit in a high chair in a restaurant he was always quiet and women used to come over and comment what a good boy he was and lay down a dime for him.  He is 50 now so they don't do that anymore.  I always disciplined my children when we went out no matter where it was.  Once when we were in a really nice restaurant in Chicago my daughter started to scream and have a tantrum and I took her into the bathroom and spanked her and told her to be quiet or she would be back in there again.  She came out and never did it again.  You need to discipline your children at home and out.  That's my biggest beef with young parents now. 

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My mother made sure we were aware that there was no place on earth she wouldn't discipline us if we needed it.  She used to say people would comment on how well-behaved we were when we were out and about and she would laugh and say come over and see how we were at home. We learned at a young age how to sit quiet, be polite, speak to a grown-up, and act in a restaurant. and we passed it on.  You can tell when a child is acting out because they're overtired or feeling unwell, and when they are allowed to do whatever they want. They're not doing the kids any favors.

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Kids who are hit are taught violence, it’s hard to get past that.  I didn’t hit but I could glare.  Starting when she was little,  I continually had people tell me what good manners my girl had.  She is an adult now and I still hear it.

But I have never gotten past the bruises I endured even though I was a good kid.  I never got in trouble.

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I didn't say I beat my child, I spanked her on her rear.  My daughter has grown to be a very respectful and lovely woman who is now a Social Worker helping other children.  But she respects people and children.  I don't think a spank on the rear is teaching violence.  I know people and have seen people who just talk to their children and their children have terrible behavior.  I don't believe in beating children and have always talked first.  IF that doesn't help or make a difference then..... not beating.

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@luvmybeetle

I worked with children and teens for years, also.  They don’t forget being hit or otherwise assaulted.  There are other ways to teach a child.  I also worked with abused women, they don’t get over it.  

I realize it was not uncommon years ago but we know better now. Hitting a child IS teaching violence as an answer when it isn’t.  I am sure your daughter would tell you the same thing.  In fact, your daughter is an obligated reporter, as I am also, if she is aware of a child being hit. It’s the law.

[bonnielu]

Not sure if next time you can control the situation by having the staff make sure you are eating alone with no one around you.  

Also this happened to me only it was even worse.  The kids turned around and started a tantrum and then tossed food over the table hiting me. AND THEN the same  kids started touching and pushing on me from behind.  

Parents said nothing and did nothing. I guess they thought it was cute or they were not paying attention or cared less.  

[sol_luna]

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@suzyQ3wrote:

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@SandPiperwrote:

@TenderMercies I noticed a couple restaurants opening up with signs in the window that say “ adults only”. I know families with children that are upset over this.  Heck my husband works a lot of hours and when he is off and we want a relaxing dinner out we go to one of these restaurants. We are assured a nice quiet dinner.

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Jeez, I'd wonder just what the heck was being served in those restaurants. :-)

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Food that you can find in restaurants like Morton's, Ruth Chris, or other high-end restaurants. In other words, NO burgers, pizza, grilled cheese, etc. or any food that would appeal to children.

[willomenia]

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@TenderMercieswrote:

Once a week, I eat lunch by myself at a Vietnamese restaurant.  It gives me a chance to get away from my office and enjoy a nice meal in peace and quiet.  

I usually go around 2PM, so the lunch rush is over, and I won't feel bad taking up a table by myself.  Today I arrived at 2PM, and there were only 3 tables occupied out of the 30 or so in the restaurant which is one large room.  As usual, you can seat yourself, so I took a booth in the rear, right corner of the room and ordered my food. 

Everything was delicious, and during the meal, one table left, and another couple came in and sat down.  All 4 of the occupied tables were spread out in the room.  About 3/4 of the way through my meal, in walks a family of 5 consisting of 2 parents in their 30's an infant, and what looked like a 2 year old boy and 4 year old girl.  They walk right over and sit down in the booth which is back to back with mine.  Luckily I was sitting on the side of the table that was not the side that was back to back with them.  I was facing them with the empty seat at my table being back to back with theirs.  

Before they all even sat down, the little girl started crying and hitting her father on the arm.  Instead of disciplining her or holding her hands down, the father holds his hands up in front of him to protect himself, as if he were getting charged by a bear.  She then started taking the sauce ramekins on the table, turning them upside down, and banging them on the table.  I immediately smelled something which alerted me that the infant needed to be changed, then the little boy started screaming as well.  By this point, I had already put my credit card on the table and had waved down the server to bring the check.  I paid and left as quickly as possible, appetite lost, without finishing the meal.

Am I the only one who feels that parents shouldn't take children to restaurants until they are sure that the children can behave appropriately in restaurants?  I think restaurants should have a ratings system like the movies.  I think that would ensure that everyone eating there would have an enjoyable experience.  

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Unfortunately  no one seems to have dinner or other meals as a family anymore. Table manners start at home, these children act like this at home as well, I'm sure. Be grateful  their not your kids.

[willomenia]

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@Carmiewrote:

@Cakers3  Unfortunally, sometimes we don’t know for sure.  I know a couple of boys with Aspergers.  They are beautiful normal looking kids, but often they do inappropriate things when they are stressed.  

Usually, when out and about, the other children in the family are well behaved and this one child is acting out.  The parents look stressed and embarrassed and they are not ignoring the child.

If the parents are ignoring the behavior and it’s more,than one child with bad behavior, it is probably bad parenting.

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Are you kidding me? 

[Shorty2U]

I didn't take my kids to restaurants (or movies) until they were about 6 on up. (and not a lot then). I did more age appropriate things with my children and kept my butt home because kids came before my entertainment. (I didn't even go out with friends when my kids were little. THEY were my life 24/7).

However, that being said I am not annoyed by children  crying or yelling anywhere (however your mention of the smelly diaper would have bothered me whether I was eating or not, so that was not acceptable!)..

But over all I am more annoyed by adults on phones and drinking alcohol then I am by children.

[Ketra]

lovemybeetle wrote: I didn't say I beat my child, I spanked her on her rear. My daughter has grown to be a very respectful and lovely woman who is now a Social Worker helping other children. But she respects people and children. I don't think a spank on the rear is teaching violence. I know people and have seen people who just talk to their children and their children have terrible behavior. I don't believe in beating children and have always talked first. IF that doesn't help or make a difference then..... not beating.

@luvmybeetle I’m with you about the spanking. We wouldn’t have so many bratty little kids growing up into monsters if they got a few spankings. Spankings (not beatings) taught my generation respect for others, manners, and instilled values as to what was right and wrong. We learned early on there are consequences for our actions. In society today there appears to be no consequences for actions. I think doing away with spankings, parents trying to be their child’s best friend instead of parenting, and parents not teaching their children what is right and wrong or any manners is why we are in the situation we are in today.

[qualitygal]

May I share: one day during one of our on-the-road moves (during military service time) we stopped for a meal.  No idea what time it was then;  There was only an older woman sitting all alone and I think we were the only two tables in use.  My son, still in a highchair at that time, all of a sudden picked up a round potato (looked like a ping pong ball) and threw it away.  I was mortified.  He'd never done anything like that.  I had to leave, I was so embarrassed.  Of course we told him no!  But we paid for the meal and left.  Things with kids just happen.  (It was a very nice restaurant).

Sorry your planned quiet meal was interrupted, but things just happen with kids.

I agree with kids behaving when out, I prefer it. Can't remember more than once when I was a kid that we ever ate out.  Once!! I know it wasn't about behavior, mom was a good cook and probably cost them a lot to eat out too.

[ID2]

Parenting sure has changed. I remember being in a restaurant with my then, 4 & 7 year olds. An older gentleman was sitting near us. When he got up to leave, he handed my sons each $1. We all looked at him stunned! He just said that my children were so well behaved he wanted to do that. What a sweetie. 

[cherry]

We eat our breakfast out every morning ,and maybe, I'm lucky or maybe, kids are just better behaved in the morning, but I have never seen this happen

I don't know what I would do if I came across this situation. I guess I might just leave...I am always heartened by parents taking their children with them. I love children ,and they seem to like me too.