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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,187
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

@TenderMercieswrote:

@NYC Susanwrote:

@GCR18wrote:

I wonder why they chose to sit next to another occupied table when there were many available.  I am usually the lucky one whom the restaurant seats the unbehaved children next to.  Last month I met a friend for lunch.  We went at 11am so it would be quieter and we could get in/out in an hour.  Tons of empty tables and a group was put at the next table with a restless toddler.  


 

If people are being seated by restaurant staff, it's probably because they're putting everyone at the tables assigned to the server(s) who is/are currently working.  It's not practical for them (for several reasons) to scatter people all over the restaurant.

 

In the case of self-seating, that's one of my pet peeves.  It happens to me everywhere I go.  I arrive early for a movie, no one else is there, people trickle in, and maybe there are 5 people in the entire theater, but you can bet that one will either sit right next to me or right in front of me. 

 

And it happens to me at the beach.  Totally deserted beach, no one there, I'm sitting in the sun, and next thing I know someone is throwing down a blanket just inches away.  An entire empty beach, and they set up camp practically in my lap.

 

It's really, really hard to get inside people's heads sometimes.  Smiley Surprised


@NYC Susan OMG.  That reminds me of when 4 of us went to go see a matinee of a Broadway show.  We were seated in the left section of the mezzanine, but the entire center section was empty.  I asked the usher if we could move to the first row of the center section, and she said to wait until after intermission.  So, during intermission we moved to the center section taking 4 seats in the middle of the first row.  Three teenage girls come along and sit right next to our little group when the entire section was open.  So, I said to the ladies in our group, "why don't we just all move down one seat to put at least one seat between us and them."  The 4 of us moved down one seat, and the 3 teenagers got up and moved right next to us again!  I stood up and screamed at them "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"  Terrified, they jumped up and moved back 3 rows.  Some people are so stupid.


@TenderMercies, you probably scared the you-know-what outta them!  Omg!  I’m still laughing over your story!  That would be something I’d want to do but wouldn’t have the guts.  

 

Next time I go to a Broadway show I’m going to invite you! 😄

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Posts: 6,837
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Sometimes children are just too young.  Or too tired.  Or too over-stimulated.  Parents have to know their own kids.  And act accordingly.

 

When mine were very young, we didn't take them to expensive restaurants.  We wanted them to learn restaurant behavior, and they learned that at chain restaurants, etc.  If they became noisy or disruptive, one of us would take them outside.  Being an annoyance to other people was never an option, my kids knew that, and I was always on high alert to be sure that didn't happen. 

 

One of my pet peeves was when my husband and I would go out for a rare date night to an expensive restaurant, having paid a babysitter to take care of our children at home, and then being subjected to someone's else's child screaming.  We paid good money to enjoy a nice quiet adult-only meal (the cost of the meal plus sitter), and it made me crazy when our fellow diners hadn't been as considerate and didn't seem to care that other diners were becoming irritated.  How they enjoyed their own meals I'll never know!

 

I think a lot of times people blame the kids when it's really the fault of the parents.  Kids can become easily bored sitting at a table where nothing is going on other than adult conversation.  Of course they act up!  You can't take a tired child out at a late hour and expect them to sit there quietly even under the best circumstances.  Putting them into that situation is a disaster waiting to happen.  And some kids are perfectly fine in restaurants while other kids of the same age are not, day or night. 

 

Bottom line is that parents need to parent.  They need to know their kids and they need to set limits.  And they need to demonstrate by example that other people exist in the world, and we have to be considerate.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,187
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

We went to a meal on Sat evening that was a fundraiser for a local fire hall. Boy Scouts were helping as volunteers. Two of them sat down near us as we were eating and they started playing a game, trying to flip a coffee creamer (the small individual container kind that has a teaspoon or so of creamer) onto the table in an upright position. The container kept getting smacked onto the table and after awhile the noise was annoying. My hub leaned toward them and said, “I’ll take that for my coffee, thanks!”  Problem solved. They got the message. 😉

Esteemed Contributor
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OH, I agree with you @TenderMercies!

 

We had lessons in how to behave in restaurants, library, grocery store, movie theatre, and other people's homes. And those lessons took place before we arrived there.

 

Once there, she might take a minute to point out how this one is remaining seated, not bouncing, or kicking. While that one is shouting, crawling on the floor, or has removed their shoes.

 

So while other parents were angrily correcting their kids, my mom could lean over and ask me to describe how people are expected to behave in ________ (wherever we were).

I'd self correct if necessary, so my behavior matched my answer. No scolding or raised voices involved.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,110
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@luvmybeetlewrote:

@blingqueen023wrote:

The only thing I’m going to say is this because no matter where we go to eat we run into screaming kids and the parents sit there and do nothing.  Throw rocks at me, but most parents today Stink, with a capital S.


When my son was young enough to sit in a high chair in a restaurant he was always quiet and women used to come over and comment what a good boy he was and lay down a dime for him.  He is 50 now so they don't do that anymore.  I always disciplined my children when we went out no matter where it was.  Once when we were in a really nice restaurant in Chicago my daughter started to scream and have a tantrum and I took her into the bathroom and spanked her and told her to be quiet or she would be back in there again.  She came out and never did it again.  You need to discipline your children at home and out.  That's my biggest beef with young parents now. 


 

@luvmybeetle, if a child's behavior was that bad, I would have removed her until she calmed down and then go back to the table. If her behavior continued, I would find it necessary to leave.

 

Physical punishment has never been in our family. Neither my husband nor I were every hit, and we never once hit our daughter. Our daugther and son-in-law have continued the tradition and are bringing up two wonderful children. Alternate methods were used in all cases.


~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
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@luvmybeetlewrote:

@blingqueen023wrote:

The only thing I’m going to say is this because no matter where we go to eat we run into screaming kids and the parents sit there and do nothing.  Throw rocks at me, but most parents today Stink, with a capital S.


When my son was young enough to sit in a high chair in a restaurant he was always quiet and women used to come over and comment what a good boy he was and lay down a dime for him.  He is 50 now so they don't do that anymore.  I always disciplined my children when we went out no matter where it was.  Once when we were in a really nice restaurant in Chicago my daughter started to scream and have a tantrum and I took her into the bathroom and spanked her and told her to be quiet or she would be back in there again.  She came out and never did it again.  You need to discipline your children at home and out.  That's my biggest beef with young parents now. 


My mother made sure we were aware that there was no place on earth she wouldn't discipline us if we needed it.  She used to say people would comment on how well-behaved we were when we were out and about and she would laugh and say come over and see how we were at home. We learned at a young age how to sit quiet, be polite, speak to a grown-up, and act in a restaurant. and we passed it on.  You can tell when a child is acting out because they're overtired or feeling unwell, and when they are allowed to do whatever they want. They're not doing the kids any favors.

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Posts: 45,125
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@Cakerswrote:

@Kachina624wrote:

I think the restaurant @TenderMercies visited would benefit from having an employee seat their patrons.  It would keep servers from running around a big room trying to serve scattered customers, by concentrating them in one area.  They could control where people like the family sit, directing them to an appropriate table away from a single diner.  Everyone would be happier, employees and customers.


@Kachina624  ??  I always thought that servers had designated areas anyway.  That way when a host/hostess seats customers there is an even distribution not only of customers but size of the party-so that one server doesn't benefit from mostly larger parties vs. the server who gets the smaller parties.


@Cakers. Apparently this one is rather poorly or casually managed.  I think most restaurants do have assigned areas for wait staff.  Perhaps this one is all family operated.

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@SandPiperwrote:

@TenderMercies I noticed a couple restaurants opening up with signs in the window that say “ adults only”. I know families with children that are upset over this.  Heck my husband works a lot of hours and when he is off and we want a relaxing dinner out we go to one of these restaurants. We are assured a nice quiet dinner.


That's a GREAT idea. Hopefully, a lot of restaurants will do this. When I do go out to eat, I AVOID restaurants that are family oriented.

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@Kachina624wrote:

 


@Cakerswrote:

@Kachina624wrote:

I think the restaurant @TenderMercies visited would benefit from having an employee seat their patrons.  It would keep servers from running around a big room trying to serve scattered customers, by concentrating them in one area.  They could control where people like the family sit, directing them to an appropriate table away from a single diner.  Everyone would be happier, employees and customers.


@Kachina624  ??  I always thought that servers had designated areas anyway.  That way when a host/hostess seats customers there is an even distribution not only of customers but size of the party-so that one server doesn't benefit from mostly larger parties vs. the server who gets the smaller parties.


@Cakers. Apparently this one is rather poorly or casually managed.  I think most restaurants do have assigned areas for wait staff.  Perhaps this one is all family operated.


@Kachina624 It's family owned and pretty casual.  Multiple servers usually bring my food, drink, check, refills, etc.  It might be just the style of service where they come from in Vietnam.  

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Posts: 18,752
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@MoInVAwrote:

@luvmybeetlewrote:

@blingqueen023wrote:

The only thing I’m going to say is this because no matter where we go to eat we run into screaming kids and the parents sit there and do nothing.  Throw rocks at me, but most parents today Stink, with a capital S.


When my son was young enough to sit in a high chair in a restaurant he was always quiet and women used to come over and comment what a good boy he was and lay down a dime for him.  He is 50 now so they don't do that anymore.  I always disciplined my children when we went out no matter where it was.  Once when we were in a really nice restaurant in Chicago my daughter started to scream and have a tantrum and I took her into the bathroom and spanked her and told her to be quiet or she would be back in there again.  She came out and never did it again.  You need to discipline your children at home and out.  That's my biggest beef with young parents now. 


My mother made sure we were aware that there was no place on earth she wouldn't discipline us if we needed it.  She used to say people would comment on how well-behaved we were when we were out and about and she would laugh and say come over and see how we were at home. We learned at a young age how to sit quiet, be polite, speak to a grown-up, and act in a restaurant. and we passed it on.  You can tell when a child is acting out because they're overtired or feeling unwell, and when they are allowed to do whatever they want. They're not doing the kids any favors.


Kids who are hit are taught violence, it’s hard to get past that.  I didn’t hit but I could glare.  Starting when she was little,  I continually had people tell me what good manners my girl had.  She is an adult now and I still hear it.

 

But I have never gotten past the bruises I endured even though I was a good kid.  I never got in trouble.