Community Chat

[suzyQ3]

---

@SandPiperwrote:

@TenderMercies I noticed a couple restaurants opening up with signs in the window that say “ adults only”. I know families with children that are upset over this.  Heck my husband works a lot of hours and when he is off and we want a relaxing dinner out we go to one of these restaurants. We are assured a nice quiet dinner.

---

Jeez, I'd wonder just what the heck was being served in those restaurants. :-)

[Cakers3]

---

@Noel7wrote:

---

@MoInVAwrote:

---

@luvmybeetlewrote:

---

@Blingqueen023wrote:

The only thing I’m going to say is this because no matter where we go to eat we run into screaming kids and the parents sit there and do nothing.  Throw rocks at me, but most parents today Stink, with a capital S.

---

When my son was young enough to sit in a high chair in a restaurant he was always quiet and women used to come over and comment what a good boy he was and lay down a dime for him.  He is 50 now so they don't do that anymore.  I always disciplined my children when we went out no matter where it was.  Once when we were in a really nice restaurant in Chicago my daughter started to scream and have a tantrum and I took her into the bathroom and spanked her and told her to be quiet or she would be back in there again.  She came out and never did it again.  You need to discipline your children at home and out.  That's my biggest beef with young parents now. 

---

My mother made sure we were aware that there was no place on earth she wouldn't discipline us if we needed it.  She used to say people would comment on how well-behaved we were when we were out and about and she would laugh and say come over and see how we were at home. We learned at a young age how to sit quiet, be polite, speak to a grown-up, and act in a restaurant. and we passed it on.  You can tell when a child is acting out because they're overtired or feeling unwell, and when they are allowed to do whatever they want. They're not doing the kids any favors.

---

Kids who are hit are taught violence, it’s hard to get past that.  I didn’t hit but I could glare.  Starting when she was little,  I continually had people tell me what good manners my girl had.  She is an adult now and I still hear it.

But I have never gotten past the bruises I endured even though I was a good kid.  I never got in trouble.

---

@Noel7  I hear you and I had the double whammy with pre-Vatican II nuns.  Oy.  I was in trouble with them whether I was in trouble or not. 

[NYC Susan]

---

@suzyQ3wrote:

---

@SandPiperwrote:

@TenderMercies I noticed a couple restaurants opening up with signs in the window that say “ adults only”. I know families with children that are upset over this.  Heck my husband works a lot of hours and when he is off and we want a relaxing dinner out we go to one of these restaurants. We are assured a nice quiet dinner.

---

Jeez, I'd wonder just what the heck was being served in those restaurants. :-)

---

[VanSleepy]

If we get somewhere early and sit in a prime seating area, I  fully expect that others are going to come and sit near us.  They want good seats, too!

[RoughDraft]

This is why I love eating at the bar!  

[JeanLouiseFinch]

I agree wholeheartedly with @ciao_bella's comment about children not being taught manners and respect these days.  Even so, it's a free country and people with or without children are allowed to dine where they please.  It's unfortunate that it sometimes causes other distress but I wouldn't want to put a restriction on families with small children.  Once one restriction is set in place someone else will come along and start a campaign against someone else, all with a view of making their own experience more pleasant.  The next thing you know it could be about people in wheelchairs or walkers, for instance, because they take up too much room and those people move too slowly.  God forbid there would be a fire and they would be in someone's way.  See what I mean?  What makes one person's comfort more important than someone else's? 

[luvmybeetle]

---

@Noel7wrote:

---

@MoInVAwrote:

---

@luvmybeetlewrote:

---

@Blingqueen023wrote:

The only thing I’m going to say is this because no matter where we go to eat we run into screaming kids and the parents sit there and do nothing.  Throw rocks at me, but most parents today Stink, with a capital S.

---

When my son was young enough to sit in a high chair in a restaurant he was always quiet and women used to come over and comment what a good boy he was and lay down a dime for him.  He is 50 now so they don't do that anymore.  I always disciplined my children when we went out no matter where it was.  Once when we were in a really nice restaurant in Chicago my daughter started to scream and have a tantrum and I took her into the bathroom and spanked her and told her to be quiet or she would be back in there again.  She came out and never did it again.  You need to discipline your children at home and out.  That's my biggest beef with young parents now. 

---

My mother made sure we were aware that there was no place on earth she wouldn't discipline us if we needed it.  She used to say people would comment on how well-behaved we were when we were out and about and she would laugh and say come over and see how we were at home. We learned at a young age how to sit quiet, be polite, speak to a grown-up, and act in a restaurant. and we passed it on.  You can tell when a child is acting out because they're overtired or feeling unwell, and when they are allowed to do whatever they want. They're not doing the kids any favors.

---

Kids who are hit are taught violence, it’s hard to get past that.  I didn’t hit but I could glare.  Starting when she was little,  I continually had people tell me what good manners my girl had.  She is an adult now and I still hear it.

But I have never gotten past the bruises I endured even though I was a good kid.  I never got in trouble.

---

I didn't say I beat my child, I spanked her on her rear.  My daughter has grown to be a very respectful and lovely woman who is now a Social Worker helping other children.  But she respects people and children.  I don't think a spank on the rear is teaching violence.  I know people and have seen people who just talk to their children and their children have terrible behavior.  I don't believe in beating children and have always talked first.  IF that doesn't help or make a difference then..... not beating.

[Annabellethecat66]

@TenderMercies Your  post reminded me of something that happened with my late husband, my oldest daughter and her 2 year old daughter.

We were in Silver Diner restaurant.  It's a sit down restaurant with booths and you can play music there on the individual juke box for a quarter or something.

Emily was and is a very bright little girl.  Although she was 2 she was mentally more like a 3 or 4 year old.  It was easy to reason with her, she totally understood.  We could say, "Emme, use your indoor voice" and she did (no yelling).  Things like that.  

Well, that day (middle of day) she decided to yell and just be a pain in the neck.  My husband picked her up and he said, "We will be back".  About 10 minutes later (if that), he came back with Emme.  She had not been crying or wasn't upset and was laughing with her Granddaddy.  

My daughter smiled and went on talking as if Emme had been here the entire time.  When we left I said, "What did you say to her"?  He said, "I said what I used to tell our girls, "When you are ready to talk quietly and not bother everyone we will go back inside.  If not, we'll just sit here in the car".  The he smiled and said, "Remember, we did that with our girls and kids would always rather be having fun.  In other words I told her what we taught our girls, POSITIVE attention (happiness) is better than NEGATIVE attention (sadness)".  

That's how we raised our girls.  We at out several times a week at very expensive restaurants.  We traveled a lot and they went with us everywhere.  We never had any trouble.

Children understand more than people think.  Perhaps the child was tired and the parents shouldn't have brought the kid there.  Perhaps instead of going into that kind of place they should have gone to a fast food where the kid would be happier eating.  

You can't do that all of the time but once in awhile it doesn't hurt.  Then when you do go to a place where they need to be very quiet and let other's enjoy the meal, they will understand.

Just last week we celebrated my grandson's birthday.  He turned 12.  My daughter and son-in-law have 4 children (2 teenagers, a now 12 year old and 5 year old and a foster child 7).  They are working on teaching the foster child there are times when you can play and times when you are courteous to others.  He's learning lots of new rules as in our family you MUST learn manners, etc.  Again, it's emphasize the positive and make them understand negative attention ..... well...it's not good.

We always rewarded good behavior (they'd get to pick the meal or restaurant or movie if THEY felt like they'd had a good day, things like that.

Everyone has bad days, even children.  So many of these children go to daycare at 530-6:00 AM and get picked up at 5:30-6:00PM.  It's not their fault if they're tired but sometimes it's necessary.  

Mom and Dad need to understand that and work around it.  How many of us goes into a grocery store and the kids are running around, the child's in the cart screaming and the mom or dad just wants to get the groceries and go home.  No one's fault but the parents need to learn perhaps they should go to the store on Saturday or Sunday (and make their (the parent's alone time).  Make it work for you (the parent) and everyone will benefit.

My daughters are both stay at home mom's.  Both son-in-law often do grocery shopping sometimes.  My one son-in-law loves to grocery store.  The other one loved to do the cooking.

In a family you figure out what works and go with it.  But first you figure out what works not what YOU want it to work but what WORKS for ALL of the family.

I'll go sit down and close out now.  Past my bedtime.

[GCR18]

@NYC Susan. I totally understand dividing the patrons between the servers.  I should have mentioned, people were seated around the restaurant.  LOL.  It doesn't matter, it's just annoying.  We were having a nice chat and then we weren't.  Just like the OPs lunch.

[NYC Susan]

---

@VanSleepywrote:

If we get somewhere early and sit in a prime seating area, I  fully expect that others are going to come and sit near us.  They want good seats, too!

---

Yes, but I tend not to sit in what other people would consider to be prime seating areas, and it happens to me all the time.