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Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,010
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Having taught 35 years, I could not agree more; manners are not a priority in child-rearing for young parents today. When we go to a restaurant, most parents just pull out an iPad to keep their kids quiet....but we get to hear the entire soundtrack of the movie or the bells ringing for the game they are playing....put down the iPad, teach your child to sit down, be polite in a restaurant. My kids learned how to do it.....no reason why others can't learn as well.

 

Super Contributor
Posts: 464
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Restaurant Rant

[ Edited ]

@CARMIE wrote:

@Cakers  Unfortunally, sometimes we don’t know for sure.  I know a couple of boys with Aspergers.  They are beautiful normal looking kids, but often they do inappropriate things when they are stressed.  

 

Usually, when out and about, the other children in the family are well behaved and this one child is acting out.  The parents look stressed and embarrassed and they are not ignoring the child.

 

If the parents are ignoring the behavior and it’s more,than one child with bad behavior, it is probably bad parenting.

 

 


I have a son with autism and I was always a very strict mom. I made my children mind and did not let them act up like so many do these days. When my son was younger we just did not eat inside restaurants or go out to do things in public where he might cause a scene. Back then (he is now 31 years old), most people had never heard of autism so nobody was going to give us a break anyway. He also looks perfectly normal so people were just going to think he was being a brat. And I just couldn't enjoy myself if I knew my child was going to be acting up and ruining other peoples time, even if he couldn't help it. That wasn't fun for anyone. We got take out a lot and just ate at home. We couldn't even attend church services until he was about 12 because when he got in certain moods, you could not reason with him at all. We spent a lot of time at home in those days but I would rather stay home and be comfortable to deal with whatever his issues were at the time than try to handle them in public situations where quiet was expected and causing a scene. I try to give parents a break if I think their child is special needs but it's not always easy to tell. 

 

To the OP, I think they should have seated that family further away. I don't understand why restaurants do that. I know the servers have their certain tables but they really should make an effort to keep families separate from adults without children if there is plenty of tables available. And parents need to stop thinking their children acting up is cute. It's not cute!

 

Edited to add: I see they did not seat them but the family seated themselves. I don't understand why they put themselves there. That behavior baffles me.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,156
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Your child was your choice and your problem, not mine. I should not have my dinner spoiled when I had no vote in the matter. If he's too young, too tired, unable to behave properly in a restaurant, go to Chucky Cheese, get your food to go, pack a lunch, get a sitter, or stay at home. You can't know what is going on in the lives of fellow diners. It's unfair to expect them to put up with your unpleasant child. 

 

 

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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,858
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

I had to share that I have been back to the Vietnamese restaurant several times since the original innocent last month, and while there have still been kids seated around me, they have all been polite and well-behaved.

 

I also frequent a Japanese as well as an Indian restaurant for lunch.  While I have also been seated by children at both of those establishments in the past month, the kids there have also been well-behaved.  There was one incident at the Indian restaurant, and I thought it was worth sharing.  There was a family of 8 seated next to me that included a son and daughter who were somewhere between the ages of 7 and 10.  While they were behaved for most of the meal, at one point the adults got lost in coversation, and the two kids started to chant some silly phrase over and over in an obnoxious tone.  The mom, who was seated next to the kids, turned slowly toward both of them and in a calm, but serious and blunt tone said to them, "This isn't going to work out well for you."  The kids immediately stopped.  I thought it was such a great thing to say, because it was delivered in one sentence that simultaneously reprimanded them, reminded them of previous consequences, but also was delivered in a way that was calm and treated the children with a certain degree of respect.  Sometimes parents can really look worse than their kids in situations like this, so I thought this was a good example of smart parenting skills.  Just wanted to share.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,539
Registered: ‎10-26-2010

Re: Restaurant Rant

[ Edited ]

It rarely happens, but if a waitress tries to seat us in a bad location, I'll ask if we could sit at another table.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,483
Registered: ‎05-15-2016

When my kids were little I’d always request a seat away from other patrons or with other families with small kids. Tolerance is important but so is being considerate to others trying to enjoy a night without being disturbed by other people. 

 

Also, common sense should prevail when deciding to take young children somewhere. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 58,912
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@Rockycoast56 wrote:

Similar thing happened to my daughter this past Tuesday. She had gone into a cafe for lunch. It was early still, lots of tables available. My daughter was eating her lunch and playing a game on her phone. A family of 4 come in and took the table right next to my daughter. Mom and dad in their 30's, a 2 and 4 year old my daughter thought. As soon as the mom sat down she said to my daughter, " Could you put your phone away. My daughter(the 2 year old ) will want to play with it".  My daughter looked at her and said "Then you should teach your daughter not to touch other people's property", and went back to eating her lunch and her phone.  When she told me what happened, I told her, well done!  It is the mom's and dad's responsibility to teach her kids what is right and wrong and to not touch other's property.  I agree, parents need to step up their game and start parenting their kids! Not expect others to do it for them.


@Rockycoast56 This is truly unbelievable. Another, I guess, who thinks the world must revolve around her progeny. Your daughter was a lot nicer about it that I'd have likely been... I'm floored at the nerve of some people...


In my pantry with my cupcakes...
Occasional Contributor
Posts: 5
Registered: ‎04-20-2018

I'm with you, TenderMercies! It's extremely upsetting to have to put with screaming, ill-behaved children and (smelly) infants/toddlers in a restaurant setting, or any other setting for that matter (airplanes!). I like your idea about the Rating System. Restaurants would be more diligent about making sure that all of their clientele have an equally pleasant eating experience.