Reconnected w old friend, how can I help her? - Page 3

foundinlv · ‎04-20-2012

Trust is definitely a factor. Maybe you could go to her church with her and see first hand exactly what her challenges and needs are.

sylviahomeatlast · ‎03-11-2010

On 9/23/2014 deepwaterdotter said:
Your friendship and your time are the most valuable gifts you can offer anyone at anytime.

I agree with deepwaterdotter,too

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

Your dear friend is probably receiving some type of assistance because of her son and her inability to work, etc. I would 'sit tight', wait awhile, and see what develops. After a bit of time has passed, and you are strongly inclined to help, a (moderate amount) gift card to her local supermarket could be a good idea.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

Deb1010again · ‎05-28-2013

On 9/23/2014 Hoovermom said:
I believe the OP said they did not leave close to each other, so I would probably purchase a gift card from a local grocery in her area. Send it with a card telling her how much she means to you. This way I would feel like I had helped in someway. Blessings to you!!!

I think this is a good idea. Or a gift card for Walmart.

I recently ran into a similar issue with an old friend. I waited until her birthday and then sent a $100 gift card for Target. At Christmas I did the same. I made sure she understood I didn't want anything in return.

You can't fix all her problems. And you don't know where it could lead. You don't want her to become reliant on you for financial help -- if you were to give her a much larger monetary gift. You've only reconnected with her via phone for a couple of hours. There is still much about her life you don't know about. Trust me... that's what I found out.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

Continue to talk with her on the phone but wait to send her money. If it's friendship she wants the calls or emails will continue, if it's money she wants the calls will dwindle becoming fewer until you no longer here from her. Be prepared for more crisis and sad stories that can be fixed with cash if only she had some,

Marienkaefer2 · ‎03-09-2010

Yeah, I understand she is an old friend, and of course you feel you want to help. But money-wise, if I were you, I'd be careful, for all of the reasons already mentioned. I learned my lesson a long time ago with this. Money can do funny things. Once you start giving it, even in the form of a gift card, she may come to expect that she can always come to you with money requests. That doesn't mean she's a bad person, but it's natural that she might feel comfortable asking you over time. Unless you are Donald Trump and can give money freely with little concern, I would wait on that. Give her your time and ear for now. Except, for the holidays, or if she has a birthday coming up, you could get a gift card or something like that.

If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero

Poodlepet2 · ‎03-09-2010

I have not read this entire thread yet, but I noticed there were quite a few comments about the dire straits the OP's friend was in, but yet she had money for a computer and the internet. I am just sayin' this past summer I saw ads being run that you could "sign up" and get Internet for free.....as part of education.... Poodlepet

ROMARY · ‎04-28-2010

Yes, IN GENERAL, sometimes a person gives, gives, gives, and gives. And then when the money stops, that person is 'the bad guy'. I've seen that happen. Not saying about this particular situation, though. Just agreeing with a few posters, and generally speaking.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).

Cakers1 · ‎03-09-2010

On 9/23/2014 occasional rain said: Continue to talk with her on the phone but wait to send her money. If it's friendship she wants the calls or emails will continue, if it's money she wants the calls will dwindle becoming fewer until you no longer here from her. Be prepared for more crisis and sad stories that can be fixed with cash if only she had some,

Agree.

Shorty: Your heart is in the right place and all may be on the up and up. But it may not.

I would not send anything to her; listening as a friend would be my advice.

gazelle77 · ‎03-01-2013

SHE found YOU? Warning, warning, warning.....something feels off here.....I would be skeptical of this old lost friend who suddenly shows up in your life and tells you her life story of woes.....do not be the fall guy. I am afraid she wants you to offend her$$$$$$$.