Reconnected w old friend, how can I help her?

Shorty2U · ‎03-09-2010

I just reconnected with an old friend who lived near me when I lived in the city and we worked together. We were very good friends at the time.

We had both remarried after our divorces and moved and well we lost contact. She had moved around a lot and I had tried to find her but couldn't.

Well she found me, on facebook through finding my grown kids, then she found me.

Well, I am SO happy to have reconnected and we talked for hours via the phone this morning.

She is still so cheery and thankful yet has many problems. She has many health problems and cant work and her husband is on disability but still works part time in spite of having health issues, (because he always was a go getter and still is even though his health is not good).

She has kids from her 1st marriage who have some issues, and a son from this marriage who has Asperger's.

Well I find out this friend of mine was homeless for awhile. They now live in a trailer and their car just blew, so they have no car. Tears were running down my face when I heard all the stories in her life since we hadn't been in touch.

Well lets put it this way they are struggling financially.

She does have good connections through their church (who helps them), and that is what keeps them going. Their faith.

It really makes me thankful for the life I have in spite of not being able to work myself anymore due to my health problems. I am lucky my husband has a good job and we have a nice house and that I have my children and grandchildren.

I am sitting here thinking how I could help my old friend in some way without offending her? Would it offend her for me to reach out in some way to send them some kind of help in a monetary way or gift cards? (we don't live near each other). I don't want to make her feel less fortunate or hurt her feelings.

Is just talking and exchanging numbers so we can talk and help her in that way enough? I feel I need to do more.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make~ The Beatles

RibbonsRosesRainbows · ‎05-12-2014

Please do more and I am so proud of you for caring for her..........I can't believe it would hurt her feelings if you help her..........tell her from your heart you want to do this........and it is a blessing for you as well........I am sure she will be thrilled.

RibbonsRosesRainbows · ‎05-12-2014

OP...........you are amazing to help her. Blessings to you.

beckyb1012 · ‎03-09-2010

You have a history with this woman but time has gone by and you do not want her to feel you only pity her. For right now I would just listen to her and ask her what she needs and tell her you are there for her. No less than you would do for someone you barely know who is going through a hard time. Just let it build from there. I would just think of what you have done for others in the past and act accordingly.

Bake a plate of brownies than move up. I myself would not be pleased for an old friend to all of sudden give me a monetary gift. But I am 52 and never even borrowed money once even while I was growing up from my own mother. You just do it yourself and if you do need help you ask. Money is a funny thing for all of us. Some have no problems taking it where they can get and others do. Gift cards are money too.

Do what your heart tells you to do and let her know she can tell you if it is to much or to little. She may want TWO plates of brownies.

"Live frugally, but love extravagantly."

Hoovermom · ‎03-19-2010

I believe the OP said they did not leave close to each other, so I would probably purchase a gift card from a local grocery in her area. Send it with a card telling her how much she means to you. This way I would feel like I had helped in someway. Blessings to you!!!

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

Are you certain about this person? She apparently can afford a computer and internet service.

game-on · ‎03-22-2010

shorty.... I know you have a kind heart.... however, I am skeptical.... having a computer and paying for the internet when one is hungry? Whose phone is she using to contact you? I know it is difficult to hear that all she says might not be true.... or it might be... I guess I would just wonder.....

ahoymate · ‎05-30-2010

Being a friend is good enough. However, once you start in rescuing people you aren't helping.

Lynneuk · ‎03-10-2010

The OP didn't say her friend has a computer and internet service. They talked on the phone and her friend found her through her adult children on FB which you can access at the library. I'm sure she knows her friend well enough to know what kind of person she is.

Chalcedony · ‎05-12-2010

I am a bit skeptical that someone just happens to connect via Facebook at the same time that the car blew up, but I am often overly cautious about these kinds of things. I agree with being a good friend to her but I don't believe the OP should give her money without spending more time getting reacquainted with her.