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Contributor
Posts: 32
Registered: ‎08-16-2010

Re: Memorials On Car Windows - sorry it offends you

I do read these boards for info, don't repond, but the posts about car memorials deserve  a reply.

The posterS  find the way a family memorialized a loved one tacky -  Well, Isn't that just too bad . 

Our son was killed in a horrendous accident over a decade ago. And yes, I have a sticker in his honor on my back window. And yes I can see out the window just fine. As his parents we had to pick out a coffin for him, watch him be lowered into the ground ( along with his future ), pick the perfect inscription on his headstone. We've had to now find a way to live everyday of our lives without him.

You can be sure if I want a sticker I'm putting it anyplace I feel like. 

As for the roadside memorial - do you think that is an enjoyable part of our routine? Going to the spot a car slammed into him and he took his last breath? No, it is not. We continue this to perhaps save someone else's life. It is a dangerous road. If it can remind people to slow down and be more careful, we will have accomplished something.

There was more to my reply post now buried 6 pages in, but won't go into the details again. 

If you find an expression of love, as that's pretty much what  memorials are, in poor taste, or tacky try to realize what they signify to the families. These are people  with very real heartache. 

For those that do understand, thank you. And if not, just look the other way and go about your day.

Alice, Jason's mom4vr

 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,503
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Memorials On Car Windows - sorry it offends you

@doodles76  I can't imagine your loss.  I'm so very sorry.  There are no words.

 

 

ETERNITY: your choice... smoking or non smoking!
Honored Contributor
Posts: 36,760
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Memorials On Car Windows - sorry it offends you

@doodles76 

 

so very sorry that you had to read some posts that hurt. Smiley Sad

so very glad you let us know your feelings about all of this.

condolences on the loss of your son jason.

**********************************************
"I would prefer even to to fail with honor than win by cheating." - Sophocles
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,410
Registered: ‎10-30-2010

Re: Memorials On Car Windows - sorry it offends you

You do not need to apologize.

 

Sorry for your loss. 

 

I am so glad that I did not see the ridiculous post criticising people for how they choose to memorialize their loved one. 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,511
Registered: ‎03-18-2010

Re: Memorials On Car Windows - sorry it offends you

[ Edited ]

So sorry to hear about your precious son.  We lost our youngest at age 33 due to a rare form of cancer.  We had both our car license plate holder imprinted with "In Memory of Ryan 1977-2010"  and a sticker on the back window saying "DJ Ribble" with a picture of a small cartoon like dj with a headset on.  He was a part time DJ in some of the clubs in Sacramento, CA.  That was his passion.  Ryan loved to mix music.  Only our faith in God has gotten us through this.

 

 

 

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,965
Registered: ‎08-19-2014

Re: Memorials On Car Windows - sorry it offends you

@doodles76    I'm so sorry for your unimaginable loss💐. Please ignore the nasty posters.They don't represent the majority of us.
  Everyone has their own experiences & their own way of handling them. I wish you & your family peace.Jason was very lucky to have you as his mom.💔

Contributor
Posts: 26
Registered: ‎04-16-2011

Re: Memorials On Car Windows - sorry it offends you

Everyone grieves differently.  There is no right or wrong way to do it or a timeline to complete it.  I'm so sorry for your family's loss.  I think it's brave of you to keep going to that road to keep up awareness of the safety issue there. 

 

If anyone needs it, there are some great grief resources at https://whatsyourgrief.com/

Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,645
Registered: ‎07-09-2011

Re: Memorials On Car Windows - sorry it offends you

@doodles76 

 

I am so sorry for your loss, and that you encountered such thoughtless posters here.

 

How you choose deal with your loss is totally your business, anything that helps is a blessing.

 

Best Wishes.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras
Contributor
Posts: 32
Registered: ‎08-16-2010

Re: Memorials On Car Windows - sorry it offends you

For anyone needing help please reach out to Compassionate Friends. There are local groups in many areas. Find them on line, sign up for the emails. They are truly a life-saver for so many grieving parents.  Also on Facebook join groups. A few I am familiar with: Grieving Mothers, Parents who have lost their sons, Wings of hope - my child has wings. Grief is a lonely, personal journey. But please reach out to any of these groups. Connecting with  others who understand when you think there is no hope can help.

Thank you all for the kind replies . 

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,843
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

Re: Memorials On Car Windows - sorry it offends you

For the first time ever I cried when I read your post. As the mother of a son I can only imagine your heartache.  I expressed my outrage, along with other posters,  in the original thread and I do so again.  You have much support from the kind caring people on the boards. The posters are void of empathy and that is to their detriment. Please know you are in my prayers. I am so very sorry.