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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: READ IT AND LET IT SINK IN

This sounds like advice for those in arranged marriages.

I would not remain married to someone who bored me or to someone I had to work at loving.

 

Good marriages are not work, good marriages make everything life brings better. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,446
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: READ IT AND LET IT SINK IN

I don't think of marriage as a life time prison sentence and I know that no duty and commitment do not by any stretch of the imagination equate to love.  You can't make yourself love someone.  I don't think it's a matter of being bored with someone after many years together,  Ithink some couples either grow apart over the years or they failed to nurture the marriage.  The marriage becomes all about the kids and the house and the bills and the yard work and they forget why they got married in the first place.  I would never want to be in a marriage where we just put up with each other and pretend we have a good marriage.  

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,665
Registered: ‎06-15-2014

Re: READ IT AND LET IT SINK IN

So very true. Dh is not a talker or a good listener. He

shows his love by doing:

cleaning fans

making me soup, salad and roasted vegetables daily 

Doing food shopping, banking, rxs, the wash

Calling my mds when I’ve reached my limit.

 

As I’ve posted before Dh has mental illness, bipolar,

anxiety disorder and pstd. Sometimes I feel like screaming, or smacking him. I don’t, I just love him and can’t stay angry with him.

 

I could go on and on. Marriage is work, very fulfilling but work. We are together since 1973, married since

1976 and still going strong in everyway. A real partnership.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,643
Registered: ‎11-15-2011

Re: READ IT AND LET IT SINK IN

[ Edited ]

There is a huge difference in a good marriage going through a bad time and being in a bad marriage!

 

Never been a rule that applied to all circumstances!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,898
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: READ IT AND LET IT SINK IN


@AngelPuppy1 wrote:

Yes, yes, yes!

 

It is so easy to love someone when it's new, fresh, exciting, and everything is going perfectly.  

 

I love the line that says --- "Love someone when you don't want to, when they aren't the easiest to deal with, when they're hard to love."  That says it all --- that's the real test!  Staying together through the hard times!!!!!  

 

I don't think a lot of people get that.  For love to be truly meaninful and deep, it has to withstand all these not so pretty moments and all these diffiult times when you might think --- why, why am I doing this?  

 

I think a person needs love the most when they are at their most unlovable!!!  


@AngelPuppy1...You hit the nail on the head.  Everything you said couldn't have been said better...well done.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,484
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

Re: READ IT AND LET IT SINK IN

I think in the beginning of a “relationship” you better be really good friends at first....because after years of marriage, you become “best friends” again. Your own TV’s and your own bedroom’s really help. Computer’s, tablet’s and cell phone’s have really put a real test on relationships.
❤️“We are all different. Don’t judge, understand instead.”❤️
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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: READ IT AND LET IT SINK IN

Women who look at marriage as a means to children marry men whom they believe will be good fathers. So once the children are adults there may be nothing left between them.

 

I like watching House Hunters, not only for the houses, but for the buyers. More often than not, husbands want a completely different sort of house from their wives. If they are so far apart when it comes to houses, I can imagine their marriage is hard work.