Community Chat

[qualitygal]

YES

[granny me]

I would like to know. I also have told my husband and daughter I do not want to die at home. I want to be moved to hospice. I can't imagine how hard it would be on my husband to see me dying in a home where it is usually filled with laughter and music or to have to watch as they carried my dead body out.

[Justice4all]

Yes.  Life's end is not my time for self deception

[AngusandBuddhasMom]

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@MyGirlsMom wrote:

I watched a Frontline episode last night entitled: Being Mortal

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/frontline/article/as-real-as-it-gets-inside-the-making-of-being-mortal/

It was a close up look at terminal patients and their doctors.  Some doctors felt like they never wanted their patients to lose hope, so they tried one more medicine..one more study, etc.

There were patients who knew their days were numbered and wanted to leave hospice and die at home.

I just discussed this with my husband, I don't want to know if "my time" is limited..yes, please lie to me.  He feels just the opposite. 

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I would want to know so I had time to plan. No sense sticking your head in the sand.

[lulu2]

I thought the Frontline show was excellent.  It was eye opening on multiple levels.  Most of us have probably not thought what it is like for doctors to lose (long time) patients.

Personally I  want to know everything about my health issues.

More than 20 years ago my sister succumbed quickly (less than 7 weeks from diagnosis to death) to a terminal illness.  She was diagnosed at a world famous cancer center, returned home with her chemo schedule.  After one treatment she had fluid build-up and was hospitalized for a few days. 

I took a leave from my job and went to see her.  I was in her room when the doctor came to discharge her.  He mentioned something about no follow-up appointment was schedule. I was puzzled so asked if I could talk with him.  We left the room and I asked why there was no follow-up scheduled.  He said, "your sister will be dead within 2 weeks." I fainted.  When I came to I asked if she knew or if her husband knew.  The doctor said no but if I wanted to, I could tell them.  He said a nurse would give information for Hospice.

We returned to her house.  That night I talked with my BIL and asked if the doctor discussed her prognosis with him.  He said, "she'll have chemo next week."  I said she would not and told him what the doctor told me.  He remained in denial. (and drank heavily)

Within I few days I asked my sister if she wanted to know about her condition.  She said she did, so I told her. She died the next week.

[DoneTryin]

Yes, I'd want to know

Edited to add:  Sometimes I think people already know anyway.  Sort of like the way animals know when their time is near.

[qvcfreak]

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@granny me wrote:

I would like to know. I also have told my husband and daughter I do not want to die at home. I want to be moved to hospice. I can't imagine how hard it would be on my husband to see me dying in a home where it is usually filled with laughter and music or to have to watch as they carried my dead body out.

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Mom wanted to die away from home under hospice care but after being at the hospital for a month all she wanted was to go home. It allowed everyone to be around her the last 5 days after coming home before she passed. She asked each of us to go in one by one as she spoke to each of her children. As if she knew by the afternoon she could no longer speak and she passed the following day. 

[JavaQueen]

It's all within context. 

As someone who experienced trauma and struggle to recover, I have seen the line between here and there. Life hasn't been easy and none of us have any guarantee of how long we will be here. I have always tried to have some joy in my life, because it can be taken at any time. If I had a spouse and children, then I would want to know, because there have to be planning. Other thant that, I wouldn't want to know.

I think there's a song called "Live Life Like You're Dying?" That pretty  much sums it up. 

[esmeraldagooch]

Too many people have been given death sentences by the medical field and have lived on long lives cured using alternative treatments.  So, yes I would want to know.

[hckynut]

@MyGirlsMom

All of my many doctors know I want them to "tell it like it is". No walking on eggshells, just tell me what's up, and I will find my own way to deal with the situation.

My wife knows what I want done, and not done should I be unable to tell my doctors. I have been taking my life 1 day at a time since my first, of eight, brushes with death. How many life's do will I have? Beats me, but I am not going to waste my time thinking about it. I got this life to live, until I don't.

hckynut(john)