Community Chat

[MyGirlsMom]

@SeaMaiden I respect your viewpoint even while I feel differently. 

[Trinity11]

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@september wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

My doctor pulled no punches. I had a heart attack ten days ago. There was a delay to the Cath lab until Monday where I was transported to a major hospital had 3 stents and a balloon. I am now in heart failure/congestive heart failure all because of the delay. I was put on aspirin, drugs and morphine but time is muscle and the damage was already done by the time I got to the other hospital and got the procedure.

I went from an active woman loving life to someone that can't walk 3 feet without becoming breathless. The prognosis he claims is guarded. Stage 3 is very scary but I need to know my future. So yes, the truth allows me to celebrate life and appreciate every day.

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I am so sorry this happened to you, and wish you the best. Please keep us updated on your progress.  

ANd I would also want to know my prognosis...whatever it might be.  No sugar coating 

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At first I confess I disliked this doctor. He was not the one who did the stents ....he was assigned to me in the group for aftercare. He was rather cold when he told me about valve damage, arythmias and other contributing factors to my prognosis. I was turned off to him but today I could see he was very caring and seems to really want me to live. At first I thought he had a bad bedside manner but I think he just wanted me to realize the importance of taking the meds, healthy diet and doing everything he is prescribing.

Thanks for the good wishes, September. I really appreciate it.

[JaneMarple]

To answer the O P's question, I'm not sure at this point if I would want to know. I would really have to do some serious thinking about this.

[jaxs mom]

Of course I want to know the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth regarding my health status. I've BTDT with cancer and the low chance that I'd get better actually made me more determined to heal and not die. 

[itsmetoo]

Thank you, Trinity11. I think it would have helped my brother if he knew someone who had gone through it.  Of course you'll want to ask your doctor any specific questions about your case but if I can answer any general questions or offer moral support,  let me know. 

[september]

@Trinity11   Difficult news can be hard to take, at first, and the bearer of the not so good news has a tough job.  That said, there is always hope, and many people do defy the odds, whatever they are.  So don't give up hope.  

[jaxs mom]

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@scotnovel wrote:

I definitely want to know the truth.  Otherwise how can I make an intelligent decision about my own care.

 My father was told he had a 50 50 chance of the chemo working so he decided to have the treatments.  After 18 months of treatments, including radiation, which included only about 3 or 4 months of quality of life time, he was told nothing else could be done.  At that time the same doctor who had told him he had a 50 50 chance said he really thought there was only about a 10% chance of him being helped but he didn't want to tell my Dad that because he didn't want to discourage him.  My Dad's was angry because he said ne never would have had the treatments, and gone through all the extra suffering, if he had known what the doctor really thought about the potential benefit of treatment.  He would have died sooner, but his quality of life wouldn't have been any worse and would likely have been better, and there would have been much less stress and strain on my mother and their finances.

What happens to me healthwise is MY decision to make based on the best available knowledge.  It is NOT up to a doctor to choose for me based on his or hers personal beliefs or professional knowledge. 

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Then there are people like me, who's Dr gave them 30% chance and went ahead and had chemo, went into remission and are now considered cured. I had people tell me they wouldn't have chemo. I can guarentee I'd be dead if I hadn't though. And by the time I was diagnosed at stage three, I spent the whole day in bed, nearly every day and couldn't keep food down. So I can say in my case, my quality of life certainly was not better before the chemo than during chemo. 

[MyGirlsMom]

Hooray and love to the SURVIVORS! 

[RedTop]

I would.   I have also been with several family members when their doctor gave them the worst of the worst news, and in those circumstances, the doctors bedside manner made all the difference in how my family moved forward.

However, the only grudge I still hold, is with the oncologist who was consulted after my dads 2nd cancer diagnosis.   My dads medical doctor and his surgeons had been speaking to him for days in clear, but positive terms after his colon cancer returned.   As a family, we were taking the information given to us by those doctors and focusing on the fact my dad did not have to have a permanent colostomy, that he did well thru the surgery, and was stable at that stage of recovery.   At that point, there had been no complications, and each day brought a sign of more improvement in some form.   

While my mom was out of the room on a smoke break, the oncologist breezed in, told my dad point blank he had terminal cancer, that he needed to go home and take care of his affairs, as he probably had about 8 months to live, and then she left.   Mom came back to find my dad in great distress, and he would not tell her what had happened.  The nurse who made rounds with that doctor actually told my mom about the consult.  Nothing we said to my dad after that made a difference, and he literally gave up.   From that point on, he quit fighting, slipped deeper into depression, and his health declined steadily for the next 2 weeks until he died from kidney failure from a common staph infection without ever leaving the hospital.   

Within hours I had spoken to my administrative level boss in the hospital, and had filed a complaint against this physician.   My mom complained to every level of management, starting with the unit manager, and making sure the oncologist never set foot in my dads room again.   My dads medical doctor and surgeons reacted strongly to the oncologists "consult", and I learned much later that all 3 doctors approached her over the way she handled that consult.   

[MyGirlsMom]

@RedTop

I'm so very sorry this happened to you and your family.  Your mom did the right thing by telling one and all her feelings about the way the Oncologist treated her husband.