Community Chat

[aprilskies]

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@Cranberries wrote:
The New Year must bring it out in some people. I've seen several so far from (friends, family) who post things like "Well, time to clean up the friends list!" Or "I'm cleaning out my friends list, just post something in the comments if you want to stay." I guess I feel like if you really want to unfriend someone, you don't need to announce it on Facebook. Way too "Look at me! Look at me!" And it's not just people my age doing this, it's the older folks too!

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Yea, I agree.  It is weird to me when people do this. I never post a response to them.  My feeling is, you want to delete me go right ahead. 

[151949]

I think some people don't learn how to use FB then want to bash it when , in fact, if they knew how to use it they would eliminate the unpleasant posters and be left with those they care to hear from. You are certainly free to unfriend anyone or to block from seeing that person's posts, temporarily or permanently. I had a few I did this to over the campaign period, but will now reinstate after the inauguration. You also need to be careful of who you "friend" in the first place. I only accept friend requests from people who are my actual real life friends or family. I also have my security set so that I only see my friends posts and only my friends  see mine.

[151949]

I did have one scary incident when QVC accidently released our e mails and someone on this board got mine and found me on FB.She still stalks me here but I had to go through Facebooks security to eliminate her from there. Then I had to close my e mail acct and start a new one. However , she found out where I live from FB and frequently publishes that information on this board and I have to call QVC about it. I keep hoping when she does it enough times they will finally ban her. Since then I have really tightened up my FB security settings, this was QVC's error though , not facebooks. It was QVC that let the e mail addys out.

[MyGirlsMom]

The only status I have on my facebook page is, "married."  I don't have the city nor state where I live and my posts are, "only me."  

I block people who are obvious trolls on sires I post on.  There are people I know who I don't want to know of my facebook existence, I block them too.

Facebook has given us tools to use, avail yourself of them.

[Moonchilde]

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@MyGirlsMom wrote:

The only status I have on my facebook page is, "married."  I don't have the city nor state where I live and my posts are, "only me."  

I block people who are obvious trolls on sires I post on.  There are people I know who I don't want to know of my facebook existence, I block them too.

Facebook has given us tools to use, avail yourself of them.

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I had hometown, living in, education, jobs, etc. on my page, and removed all of it because of people who appear on these forums from time to time.

[Moonchilde]

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@aprilskies wrote:

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@Cranberries wrote:
The New Year must bring it out in some people. I've seen several so far from (friends, family) who post things like "Well, time to clean up the friends list!" Or "I'm cleaning out my friends list, just post something in the comments if you want to stay." I guess I feel like if you really want to unfriend someone, you don't need to announce it on Facebook. Way too "Look at me! Look at me!" And it's not just people my age doing this, it's the older folks too!

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Yea, I agree.  It is weird to me when people do this. I never post a response to them.  My feeling is, you want to delete me go right ahead. 

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I have seen people do this who have friends in the hundreds. They may have accepted every friend request they've ever gotten, have a lot of Game "friends" and don't play the games any more, or just have way too many posts in their Feed to attempt to keep up with or care about. They say something so those who DO want to keep hearing from them, will. I think it can seem egotistical when it isn't.

[CANDLEQUEEN]

I am still on Facebook, however I only go on maybe twice a month, and the real reason for me and probably for most was so that relatives and long lost friends could keep in touch, however I have noticed that there is way too much bragging and pretentious attitudes from the people that I know on there, so it just annoys me, so I figure if I go on maybe twice a month, it won't irk me so much! My daughter is addicted and is on facebook every evening, I don't know how she can stand it........There are people that I would not have connected with if it wasn't for Facebook, but less is more for me!   

[Laura14]

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@MyGirlsMom wrote:

The only status I have on my facebook page is, "married."  I don't have the city nor state where I live and my posts are, "only me."  

I block people who are obvious trolls on sires I post on.  There are people I know who I don't want to know of my facebook existence, I block them too.

Facebook has given us tools to use, avail yourself of them.

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@MyGirlsMom  Doesn't work on the suggested friends list though.  I did that exact thing except I had no status, no friends, an assumed name, and everything ME only and it still suggested some of my employer's customers, family, etc. be my friend and (I assume) I theirs.  I think I was well disguised but you never know.  

I couldn't possibly block every single person in existence that I came into contact with on a professional  basis on the off chance that FB might recommend them to me and me to them.   They need an opt out of that in my opinion but they won't do it because it probably messes up their algorythms and subsequent targeted ad revenue if a vast quantity of FB users suddenly went private even to them.  

I actually googled this issue to see if it was just me and there are several articles of people being recommended their ex-stalkers, crazy boyfriends, people they had fallen out with and hadn't seen in years, etc.  And in each one, FB would not tell the journalists what criteria they use to pull those people from so that we can protect ourselves by not opting into things or using applications that might be driving it.  And for the record, I had zero contact imports and zero applications tied to FB.  I also used a spare never ever used email account.  I was as pure as you get and I still couldn't get away from it.    

My issue was really minor compared to someone who actually does have a real stalker on their hands and gets reintroduced via FB.  I just want everyone to be aware that it's not always user error which causes FB frustration.  It's the actual platform itself for a few of us.  Just be completely understanding of what you are using and how unprivate you really are if that is at all a concern for you.  

And it's not just FB.  I was shocked when I signed up for an IG account, again with a brand new email never used on FB or anywhere else.  My entire family came up as recommends to follow and I deleted it immediately.  It's frustrating not to be able to use what everyone else is enjoying without having your entire family along for the ride every time.     

[MyGirlsMom]

@Laura14, in your case, I think some other things are going on, such as IP address.  Did you clear out your cache, browsing history?

I have one facebook account.  I have my settings as tight as I can have them.  

I preempt the nosey people in my life, trouble makers and the rude and crude crazies who post vile comments on pages I visit.  Yes, I have the time.

Why would a co-worker or business assume you HAVE to "friend them?'  Facebook isn't a right, it's a nice hobby. Social media isn't a must.

I don't have my entire family as friends either.  Yes, you can ignore their posts or delete their poss but if some things persist..block 'em.

My husband nor my children have facebook accounts, although my girls have Instagram.

As far as stalking goes, that's a whole other issue and the law must be made aware .

Again, YOU are in control.

[Moonchilde]

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@Laura14 wrote:

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@MyGirlsMom wrote:

The only status I have on my facebook page is, "married."  I don't have the city nor state where I live and my posts are, "only me."  

I block people who are obvious trolls on sires I post on.  There are people I know who I don't want to know of my facebook existence, I block them too.

Facebook has given us tools to use, avail yourself of them.

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@MyGirlsMom  Doesn't work on the suggested friends list though.  I did that exact thing except I had no status, no friends, an assumed name, and everything ME only and it still suggested some of my employer's customers, family, etc. be my friend and (I assume) I theirs.  I think I was well disguised but you never know.  

I couldn't possibly block every single person in existence that I came into contact with on a professional  basis on the off chance that FB might recommend them to me and me to them.   They need an opt out of that in my opinion but they won't do it because it probably messes up their algorythms and subsequent targeted ad revenue if a vast quantity of FB users suddenly went private even to them.  

I actually googled this issue to see if it was just me and there are several articles of people being recommended their ex-stalkers, crazy boyfriends, people they had fallen out with and hadn't seen in years, etc.  And in each one, FB would not tell the journalists what criteria they use to pull those people from so that we can protect ourselves by not opting into things or using applications that might be driving it.  And for the record, I had zero contact imports and zero applications tied to FB.  I also used a spare never ever used email account.  I was as pure as you get and I still couldn't get away from it.    

My issue was really minor compared to someone who actually does have a real stalker on their hands and gets reintroduced via FB.  I just want everyone to be aware that it's not always user error which causes FB frustration.  It's the actual platform itself for a few of us.  Just be completely understanding of what you are using and how unprivate you really are if that is at all a concern for you.  

And it's not just FB.  I was shocked when I signed up for an IG account, again with a brand new email never used on FB or anywhere else.  My entire family came up as recommends to follow and I deleted it immediately.  It's frustrating not to be able to use what everyone else is enjoying without having your entire family along for the ride every time.     

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But - although the lists of people come up, unless you Friend them, while they may know you have a FB page, they can't see anything on it that you don't make public. Knowing you are on FB means nothing. MOST people have a FB page. Just lock your page down and no one can see anything on it but your name and your icon. You can make your page "unsearchable" as well. Don't enable "Friends of Friends" for ANYTHING.

Those names pop up because they are every friend that every single person you have friended has in *their* Friends list. They mean nothing if you don't Friend them.

The danger is other peoples' settings. Chances are that if you post a comment on a friend's page, all of their friends will see it.