Question on how to say no.

temptations fan · ‎03-28-2012

Citrine1 · ‎03-09-2010

Ugh, people are so annoying. I don't care if you have nothing better to do or not -- sometimes you just don't feel like leaving home to do someone a favor. I don't think you're being unreasonable to not want to go let their dogs out. Like you said, if it was once in a blue moon then ok, but every week? I wouldn't want to do it. The problem now is that you've already gotten stuck in the situation so it's hard to get out of. I'm sorry I can't suggest an out for you.

And, by the way, I'm not being insensitive to the dogs' needs. I am a pet owner. But I take care of my dog myself. I'm not always asking others to let him out.

circles · ‎03-10-2010

First off you say the dogs don't need to go out...I think dogs who are cooped up for 10 hours a day....do need to go out....so if it doesn't consume your entire day...and they live close by...it certainly would be nice of you to let them out...

I don't understand people who work outside their homes insist on having dogs....I feel so bad the animals are home for hours and not able to go potty...eat..drink...just stuck there alone...its cruel..

(OP.....this paragraph is no reflection on you)

PenneyT · ‎02-27-2015

I would probably start to be 'busy' for a week or so, see what they do.

It's one thing to help out for an emergency, or even occasionally, but it sounds as if you are now an unpaid service provider, lol!, I know first hand how quickly a 'favor' can turn into an 'expected duty'!

It really would be best for them to find a dogsitter or something similar, because there WILL be times when you just can't do this for them.

Q4u · ‎03-17-2010

You are not terrible at all. What was initially a "please do me a favor" thing has now turned into a permanent lthing and that's not what you agreed to. Just because you work from home doesn't mean you are at everyone's disposal. And when you do take a break, it's presumptuous of them to think you're available every single day.

I'd kindly tell them that you sure don't mind letting them out occasionally for them, but every day is interfering with your work continuity and that one of their dogs is more work than the other. However, if they wish to pay you to do this every day for them that you'd be interested in entertaining offers and making this permanent.

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

These people are gone up to 10 hours and you don't think the dogs need to go out? How would you like to go 10 hours without relieving yourself? I bet they have unlimited access to water too. As long as you let them take advantage of your services, they will continue to do it.

Anyway, I would just explain to the owners that these trips interrupt your work and suggest they hire a dog walker to let the dogs out and give them some exercise.

Truthfully, anyone away from home that long, has no business having dogs. Dogs need attention from and the companionship of their "people".

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

I've just been through this with my family and it's tough.

The answer is for you to decide when and how much you want to do it. Example, if you're good being a sport once a week then tell them they can pick one day each week to rely on you but you will not be available any more than that.

If you need to lie and tell them you are starting to get involved in other things the rest of the week and may not be home, then go for it. But if you want to offer that you are flexible enough to allow them to "book" you one day a week that should get the message across and let you have your life back. You could also just "miss" the call.

Your time is your time and no one including your family should plan it for you. And as for your boyfriend, try interrupting him several times during his quiet moments on a weekly basis and he'll find how disruptive it becomes real quick.

I had to finally after literally decades of being nice throw down the gauntlet with my family to get my life back. The peace I have had in the past two months is actually holding and I am almost giddy to live like a real adult now and control my time again.

The dogs are their responsibilty not yours and if they need to hire a sitter or look into doggy day care, let them have at it. I had a dog and I understand their predicament but some days you just have to come home and clean up a mess or I was lucky my dog was paper trained and I left it at that.

If you really want to say no, you can but you already know that. Good Luck!

game-on · ‎03-22-2010

I believe you are being taken for granted. I think it is time to tell this person that she needs to find someone else to let out her dogs. Give her no excuses etc. This is your time and your life. You can just be gracious and say something like you have enjoyed doing it, but are busy doing other things now. They are HER responsibility.... remember you are not saying NO.... you are just putting the ball back in her court where it started and belongs.

jaxs mom · ‎04-18-2012

Just say no. Having said that, I find it extremely hard to believe that these dogs don't need to go out for 10 hours.

Don't Change Your Authenticity for Approval

Isobel Archer · ‎04-04-2015

I don't think you are a bad person at all. It seems they are taking advantage of you.

They want to have dogs - and they want you to help take care of them. This is not a matter of doing it while they are out of town - or in the hospital - but more and more as a regular thing.

Obviously, if it were easy to tell them how you feel, you would have done that. So apparently, they now have the expectation that you are on call and will not take it well if you want to stop.

On the other hand, if you continue, you will become more and more resentful and this could eventually result in a blowup.

So - I would take a deep breath - and simply tell them what your limits are - or even, if it's come to that - that you are no longer willing to do it at all.

If you are really done, do NOT negotiate - or argue. Simply tell them. Broken record. Nothing else works. If, for example, you try to tell them your work is being interrupted, they will likely minimize the importance of your work and/or insist that surely you can spare the few minutes it takes to run over there and let the dogs out. That will make you even angrier. So don't engage.