Community Chat

[Annabellethecat66]

It is going to be difficult for them to find a place to rent because you said he hasn't worked in two years?  Did I see that right?

Before the virus who was working to support them?  Is anyone working now?

@KitTkat  I know this is going to make me seem like a hard asX but I don't think you should even consider taking them in.

With your mom has health issues, the last thing she needs is to have a large group of people coming and going around her with this virus still out there.

I would think one of them could find some kind of job to bring in some money.  The 0 you put down, does that mean your sister is pregnant?  If so it's understandable that she isn't working, but what about her husband?

I think all day, every day time should be spent on finding out what assistance is out there for people like your sister and her family.

There are probably a lot of assistance for people but it's not going to come TO them .... they need to GO to agencies and from one to another and find out what's out there for them.

This is different but demonstrates (in my opinion) how assistance isn't used.  When my daughter was in high school getting ready to graduate, I heard about a family who was having a hard time financially from the school adviser.

The school adviser said there are so many programs that offer assistance for kids to go to college and help a family financially; but no one takes advantage of them.  She said she worked with the family and they were amazed at all of the help they got.

Again, it's not going to come knocking on any doors.  A person has to hit the pavement (so to speak) and spend time going from on agency to another AFTER time was spent on the internet figuring out where to go so they're not wasting their time.

If they are not good with the computer and you are, that's one thing you could do to help them.  But if I were you I'd make them participate in finding these agencies that offer help.  In other words, don't do it for them, but you could lead them and show them where to start.

Sometimes people feel so beaten up by so many bad things happening to them, they just need someone to hold out a hand and show them where to start.

I'm a firm believer that the Lord helps those who help  themselves.  But a little goose along the way can help.

Take care and let us know how they are doing after awhile. Annabellethecat.

[KitTkat]

@Annabellethecat66 thank you for your concern. I stated in my OP that I won't invite them to stay with me. I think another poster hit it right, they'd never leave! My sister isn't pregnant, but the age 0 is a 7 month old boy. She has never had a real job, only trying to sell her crafty stuff on Etsy. My advice to them always falls on deaf ears, so it gets to the point of why bother anymore. I still love them, but make one thing clear, my full support is no longer underneath them.

[ROMARY]

It's probably hard to care for so many children and work full time.  She's been a stay-at-home mom, I'm guessing.

The dad may have helped in caring for all of those youngsters. 

But, it wouldn't hurt for mom and dad to work part-time, taking turns in caring for the youngsters. 

Just thinking out loud, of course.

Well, let's wish them well, and hopefully they will look into the various agencies that posters have listed here.

We pay taxes so families like this one won't be sent out on the street.  

If not used for situations like this, where else would our tax money end up? 

Our roads are still a mess, and teachers still have to buy school supplies. Also, still troubles with dams, dykes, bridges.

Again, let's wish them and the youngsters well and safety.  

[stellabystarlight]

I am praying for this family that they find suitable housing.  My heart breaks for the children and the animals too.  Catholic Charities may be able to help.  Keeping them in my heart for a positive outcome.

[ROMARY]

p.s.  I'm now recalling our neighborhood home foreclosures.......Families would have been out on the street, but with the goodness of gov. assistance, they were able to move into nearby apts. and housing.

I run across a couple of families' moms, and they have been on a stricter budget, and seem to be doing quite well.  All are working, chipping into the budget, etc.

So, I've never minded seeing tax money going to gov. agencies which try to do their best to help families.

I'm only guessing that this isn't the case in other areas around the world.

[mamaslittlepotato]

@MLM21 you gave your tenants 45 days notice to move? You think 45-60 days notice is plenty of time to find a place?.....That’s nothing! In fact, that’s completely unfair and very unkind imo.

[mamaslittlepotato]

That’s especially not enough time to move for a family with five kids.

[Isobel Archer]

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@hckynut wrote:

@Isobel Archer 

Saving the children and the helpless animals should be the top priority. And for some people throwing money to or at them along with "freebies"? It is not the answer.

As you say, what does this teach their children? I grew up in Public Housing Projects, where there were no fathers. Only my mother and 1 other mother worked to support their children.

My family and that 1 other family, with the working mother, made it out of those Projects. That boy, now a man, is one of my best friends, he is 84. The other families? Most kept having a child each year. Several we grew up ended up in prisons or never learned the real way of life, and are dead.

Keeping children in those environments usually does not turn out well. One only need read the statistics of children of a single parent home. It pretty much spells out their chances of having a good life. It was that way when and where I was born and grew up, and it is now over 75 years later, except it is now much worse.

I realize this is a 2 parent family, but with neither of them working? Those statistics are probably even worse, that's just my guess! Whatever the stats, the odds are against these kids.

What advantage is there in letting children grow up in the type of environment that is a topic in this thread? I am listening!!

hckynut 

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Bad things happen.  People make bad decisions.  I absolutely get that - I've lived it too.

I am absolutely willing (and have many times) to  help anyone who is willing to help themselves - what they did in the past is past.  But when they just want to turn the "problem" over to me to take care of them indefinitely - I'm done.  Sound cruel - I don't think so, but that's me.

Most won't like my answer, but I think our priorities in "helping" children are way off.

The first priority in my view is to improve education so that ALL children learn to read and are not written off when they don't.  Jonathon Kozol wrote Death at an Eearly Age about how schools fail poor children in 1967 - not much has changed.

Right along with that, I think that if parents are irresponsible and refuse to actively work to improve themselves and make decent lives for their children, we take the children out of the home.  Currently we can't do that effectively and it would require a huge financial investment to properly care for them.  However, I believe, over time, if adults realized they couldn't use children to get free stuff - and without children, they wouldn't get any more free stuff for themselves either, -  they'd find a way to get their act together. 

Skinner got it right - reward what you want to see - not what you don't.

[noodleann]

Did I miss a post that accounts for how this family of 7, with as many or more animals that they have currently, have been paying for food, utilities, animal food and care, etc. etc. with one parent who does not work and another who's been unemployed for 2 years? It would be hard to believe that relatives and friends would be willing to float this scene and enable the kind of behavior that's been described.

[Sushismom]

I'm sorry, but how did they move last year without any of them having jobs?