Community Chat

[PhilaLady1]

In that situation, I have said something like "She's doin' okay, thanks for asking".  I have used facial expression and tone of voice to convey nuances of meaning. 

[Ruby Laine]

I think you did fine.

Nurses learn interviewing techniques which encourage people to volunteer information.  If this person said, "Is your aunt ok?"  You would come back with, "Is she ok?"  Or if the person said, "I hear your aunt isn't doing too well," you would say, "You heard she isn't well?"

The person almost always answers your question and adds a lot more information--what she heard, from whom, etc. 

This way you learn what the person already knows, which helps you come up with a non answer. But again, you did the right thing. 

[occasionalrain]

Asking how's your mother, sister, husband...is not a rude wish to know details, it's meant to show that you care and nothing more. The answer should be vague and include that they will let the person  know that you asked about them. People post their disappointment  when their friends don't call them when they're ill. It seems a can't win situation.

[Franklinbell]

@JeanLouiseFinch @Nice answer! I like that!

[We rescue cats]

A very dear friend of mine is in a memory care facility and she has good days and bad days. She was one of the sharpest business women I have ever known and I love her dearly. I'm always asked about her and my answer is always the same, she has good days and not so good days but she loves knowing that people remember and care, why don't you drop her a note? She loves getting mail, the notes and cards are in a lovely box that she looks through often.

[JoyFilled Warrior]

Hi @mormel20   What a sticky situation. 

Instead of just plain providing some answer,  I have to keep trying to train myself to ask back,  "Why do you ask?"  or, "Im/we're glad to know you're asking about her.  Why do you ask?"

Rather than my usual, just plain answering.

      Sometimes, ppl ask & they have a good reason, such as they noticed something you might need to know abt, and yet, they dont know just how to bring that topic/info up, esp if its something alerting, (vs nosy).

Good luck, @mormel20   I hope everything turns out ok.

[ROMARY]

For years and years, I've made it a point to not relay other folks' medical  information.

Avoids my info being 'twisted' into something else, and then passed along to others.

The patient herself/himself or her/his immediate daughters/sons should be the people to relay more updated information.

Sometimes the patient doesn't want his/her medical problems and information relayed to others.

So, I leave it up to the patient and/or the patient's immediate relatives who know more than I do. 

Just my policy.

[Jo1313]

This happened just yesterday..

DH has mild dementia and he has a heart condition..We were parked in a handicap spot with the tag hanging in the window..I went in the bank with my cane.

There was a neighbor that we don't talk to (long story)..I ignored him when he tried to say hi..a real nosey man..He went out to his car saw that there was a handicap tag in our car window.

He went to the car and asked DH "why do you have a handicap tag ?"..I was so proud of DH..he told the guy "none of your business..go home and figure it out"! DH had no clue who he said that to. there are times his mind is still sharp! I had just gotten back to the car door so I heard DH..

[mrshckynut]

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@mormel20 wrote:

I have a relative I will call "Cousin Sally".  Cousin Sally is having some health issues.  Yesterday a person who kinows I am related asked me about Cousin Sally's health.  I don't feel it is my place to blab about her private health concerns so I just vauguely said "Oh, she's pretty good". (Which is technically true, since she in not in a hosptial) I know Cousin Sally would not want her private information told to random people.  What is the best response to people who ask? I don't want to be rude or make up a lie, but I don't want discuss her private information. 

tell them the same thing you said here

it is not your place to talk about her health

if they know her well enough they should check with Sally

mrshckynut 

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