Re: Question about POA after person has Dementia

tansy · ‎01-02-2011

@KathyPet wrote:
You cannot get a POA unless the person giving the POA signs it in front of a notary. Sounds like your mother is not willing to do that. If she will not sign a POA willingly then you must go to court and have her declared incompetent to handle her own affairs and have the judge appoint you to have POA. Her doctor will need to write a statement saying she cannot take care of her own affairs to be admitted as proof of her inability to manage her own affairs. If your mother finds out you went behind her back to get this POA expect her to be very, very angry.
You need to see a attorney to start the process going.

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Just pointing out that she will be even angrier to have a child seek a guardianship. The OP needs to make certain she will prevail.

shoekitty · ‎03-10-2010

@tansy wrote:
@KathyPet wrote:
You cannot get a POA unless the person giving the POA signs it in front of a notary. Sounds like your mother is not willing to do that. If she will not sign a POA willingly then you must go to court and have her declared incompetent to handle her own affairs and have the judge appoint you to have POA. Her doctor will need to write a statement saying she cannot take care of her own affairs to be admitted as proof of her inability to manage her own affairs. If your mother finds out you went behind her back to get this POA expect her to be very, very angry.
You need to see a attorney to start the process going.
****
Just pointing out that she will be even angrier to have a child seek a guardianship. The OP needs to make certain she will prevail.

Shoekitty said

Oh my Tansy...you are so right. I don't think I am ready for that big of a fight. My SIL, my brother and I had a little pow wow today. Tomorrow I will gather the Doctors reports and diagnosis, and speak with this dementia care specialist who was recommended. I will go from there to a special attorney for advice.. For 6 years we have just waited for a shoe to drop.We thought she would soften with age and memory loss, not going to happen. We all agree her memory started failing in bits and pieces 6 years ago with some poor financial decisions she swear she didn't make at the banks. But she did it, and she did it alone, all by herself. The real big mental changes started taking place after the first of the year, and coming to a small head this past May with the revoking of her Drivers license. It has been down hill from there. But she can still be clear minded, she just looses what she does an hour later. The woman will be 95, walks a half mile a day, and has outlived her siblings, friends. All but us. She gets more obstinate and belligerent as the disease progresses.

I will see what they all say and if anyone can talk sense into her. Otherwise we may just have to wait. But I will see what options are out there.

Her bank already has realized she is not in the mental shape to make decisions on her own. Bank manager called a couple years ago because she kept questioning statements over and over, it was plain as day she didn't fully understand what she did at times. They actually told her when she wanted to do something back then that was a major move, she would need to have an attorneys okay. It went over her head why they would say this, but I understood what they were thinking and doing. I appreciated that!!

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@CelticCrafter wrote:
@luvdoodles wrote:
My mother got POA when my father was first diagnosed with Alzheimers. He didn't fight it at all. I would also suggest getting everything she owns, land, home, money, ect out of her name in case she ends up in a facility and the state will take everything until she runs out of money, then they will pay. My mother didn't do this in time and lost just about every dime they had saved for retirement. He passed at the age of 69, much too young. Good luck to you in this journey and you will need help and support.
The part I bolded, bad advice. Don't do that unless you speak with an attorney. It may come back to bite you in the butt.

Exactly. I was going to post the same thing. There are laws in place to prevent fraudulent transfers being done to avoid having to pay nursinghome bills, etc.

Scorpio1971 · ‎03-10-2010

I would suggest you RUN....don't walk!...to a very experienced elder law attorney and get all necessary documents in place...DPO, Health care proxy, & will. My mother also had Alzheimer's and we brought her to an attorney who spoke to her alone & at her level of comprehension at that time & expained everything to her so we could get those documents in place. After everything was drafted & signed, the attorney told us it was a good thing we brought her in to have documents done. She explained that if my mother was not able to comprehend what she was doing at that point, which is why the attorney spoke to her privately, that the attorney could not ethically request, expect, OR ALLOW her to sign anything! If these documents are not in place you could have to go through a long & costly medical & court process in order to have her declared basically 'incompetent' (I really hate to use that term .....) by the courts. Please seek the advice of an attorney immediately. Good luck...