Reply
Frequent Contributor
Posts: 81
Registered: ‎04-24-2015

Re: Question about POA after person has Dementia

Sounds like you may need a guardianship and conservatorship. The court will determine if she is needs a guardian/conservator. Your mom is enrolled to notice and can dispute the need for a guardian/conservator. She is entitled to her own lawyer for these proceedings. You need to discuss all these options with an elder law attorney. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,820
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Question about POA after person has Dementia

Oh pianomama, I am so sorry for your situation.  Does your husband fight you?  Is he belligerent?  I guess some Alzheimer's patients can be, and others are not.

 

  I know California has strict laws with Real Estate.  We learned that the hard way trying to sell my FIL's home after he passed.  A person wanted to buy the home.  He was a little talkative, and seemed a little eccentric, but some people are just a little different I thought.  The Realtor would not sell home to him  until he had a letter from an attorney regarding the mans' trust, and his "emotional" health.  We didn't know this until the man came around chatting us up when we were moving my FIL's things.  We asked realtor and she explained about trusts, mental illness and California Real Estate law.   Yikes, Who knew!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,371
Registered: ‎06-19-2010

Re: Question about POA after person has Dementia

My mother got POA when my father was first diagnosed with Alzheimers. He didn't fight it at all. I would also suggest getting everything she owns, land, home, money, ect out of her name in case she ends up in a facility and the state will take everything until she runs out of money, then they will pay. My mother didn't do this in time and lost just about every dime they had saved for retirement. He passed at the age of 69, much too young. Good luck to you in this journey and you will need help and support.

Highlighted
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,163
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Question about POA after person has Dementia

At this point (glad you'll be talking with an attorney), you'll need a witness to your signatures too. He should be a notary too. Keep explanation truthful, but light. Discuss it with your attorney since she has good days, but they are very scared and unsure. Gentle, is the way to go and tell her it's to assist you. You know how she takes things and how to be gentle and reassuring with her. (Ours was done way in advance, at their request, so this is different from how it was handled for us.) But, I did have to care for my father, he had this. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,778
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Question about POA after person has Dementia

I had a POA (and an attorney) for my mother, but I still ran into challenges from medical providers, the banks, and home-care providers.    Two banks even challenged my citizenship.   (Yeah, Arizona) 

♥Surface of the Sun♥
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,104
Registered: ‎09-12-2010

Re: Question about POA after person has Dementia

Good luck to you.  This is very stressful and you sure don't need to deal with the hassle of dealing with the finances.  Bad enough helping your mom with this horrible disease.  My dad actually became easier to deal with advancement.  From my experience, the majority of women become more difficult to deal with.  It happens with some men too, but not in as great a number.  Your lawyer will know what to do.  IMO as long as she is able to provide a signature you can accomplish what you need to do to help her.  But of course, I'm not in CA, thank goodness. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 37,847
Registered: ‎06-11-2011

Re: Question about POA after person has Dementia

IMO it's not very helpful to tell the OP how someone had made arrangements in advance of getting dementia or other incapacity.  I'm sure she wishes her mother had done so, but didn't. That's why she has a dilemma now.  If her mom had made one earlier, she wouldn't have a problem now and needn't have posted. I would think those posts are making her feel worse about the situation. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,283
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Question about POA after person has Dementia


@luvdoodles wrote:

My mother got POA when my father was first diagnosed with Alzheimers. He didn't fight it at all. I would also suggest getting everything she owns, land, home, money, ect out of her name in case she ends up in a facility and the state will take everything until she runs out of money, then they will pay. My mother didn't do this in time and lost just about every dime they had saved for retirement. He passed at the age of 69, much too young. Good luck to you in this journey and you will need help and support.


The part I bolded, bad advice.  Don't do that unless you speak with an attorney.  It may come back to bite you in the butt.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,955
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Question about POA after person has Dementia

When I got POA over my mom, the client had to sign, UNLESS it was possible for them to be legally declared "incompetent" - assessed by professionals who believed the individual was unable to take care of personal needs independently.

I think the legal aspects are probably determined by each state.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Question about POA after person has Dementia

Your only option at this point will be to have the courts declare her incompetent and appoint a guardian. There is no such thing as a secret POA. You will need an attorney and statements from doctors.