Community Chat

[millieshops]

A credit card + TV/Internet + mental illness = a huge problem.

I don't blame the companies -  the vast majority of their customers aren't mentally ill and don't hoard.  Even some who overbuy at times, stop when they realize things are piling up.  They're mentally healthy!

How would any company know a particular customer is buying their merchandise and never using it.  It's not as if the order taker sees the out-of-control purchaser the way  bartenders can spot a drunken drinker on the stool in front of them and stop selling them liquor.

[Lucky Charm]

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@dooBdoo wrote:

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@Lucky Charm wrote:

Deja vu.....

This story goes around every year.

Always $700K and consists of first and foremost D&B purses.

What I don't understand is the auctioneer having to mention 'the elderely lady'.  She may've not wanted to be remembered that way....

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            @Lucky Charm, if the sale in the OP is the one I found, neither of the 2 articles I posted mention "elderly."    But perhaps she read about a different estate sale?

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You're right, DBD, it was the OP who stated the seller said it was an elderly woman.

And on a thread from Jan 2016, other posters said elderly woman (or little old lady).

I guess when you *go*, you lose all privacy/dignity....sometimes.....and your posessions go for pennies on the dollar.  Sad! 

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[dooBdoo]

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@Lucky Charm wrote:

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You're right, DBD, it was the OP who stated the seller said it was an elderly woman.

And on a thread from Jan 2016, other posters said elderly woman (or little old lady).

I guess when you *go*, you lose all privacy/dignity....sometimes.....and your posessions go for pennies on the dollar.  Sad! 

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           I agree with you, @Lucky Charm.   I feel sad just thinking about this particular situation, with this dear woman, a human being whose memory and legacy are somewhat "frozen in time" in this kind of story, and also others who have had similar experiences.    Some of it speaks to exquisitely painful lonliness, some to complicated mental or emotional issues...  but in any case, very unfortunate and certainly worth our compassion.

[KaySD]

I don't know anything about the the particular article you mention. But when I try to put myself in the shoes of people who make buying things the center of their lives, I feel it may not be about the stuff, it's about the feeling of control or empowerment.

Maybe you feel disappointed that your life is not/has not been what you wanted it to be. Maybe you feel like life's victim, like you have not had a choice to do or be what you really wanted. It kinda makes sense that you would get a positive "hit" from the act of buying something. Like, "I can make something I like happen when I press the order button or give my credit card to a store cashier."

The stuff itself becomes a sort of byproduct--the real transaction is money for a good feeling, however short-lived. Like anything that makes us feel better, the behavior can turn into a habit, maybe even an addiction.

That's not to say there aren't also hoarders, who seem to feel satisfaction from owning a pile of stuff. But I don't think the "ordering addiction" and the "owning addiction" always go together. 

[dooBdoo]

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@KaySD wrote:

I don't know anything about the the particular article you mention. But when I try to put myself in the shoes of people who make buying things the center of their lives, I feel it may not be about the stuff, it's about the feeling of control or empowerment.

Maybe you feel disappointed that your life is not/has not been what you wanted it to be. Maybe you feel like life's victim, like you have not had a choice to do or be what you really wanted. It kinda makes sense that you would get a positive "hit" from the act of buying something. Like, "I can make something I like happen when I press the order button or give my credit card to a store cashier."

The stuff itself becomes a sort of byproduct--the real transaction is money for a good feeling, however short-lived. Like anything that makes us feel better, the behavior can turn into a habit, maybe even an addiction.

That's not to say there aren't also hoarders, who seem to feel satisfaction from owning a pile of stuff. But I don't think the "ordering addiction" and the "owning addiction" always go together. 

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            Very insightful, @KaySD.   It also can be an attempt to fill an emptiness.   But the emptiness remains and turns out to be vast and certainly not "fillable" with material goods.

[tends2dogs]

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@151949 wrote:

@tends2dogs I think those shows are the most extreme and disgusting cases. People can hoard stuff without living in filth.Some hoarders keep their hoard of stuff very tidy. I have a friend who hoards books. She is constantly at sales getting more books. She has bookcases all around her home. Honestly, she could start her own library! And , BTW, she is a retired librarian.Anyway, every one of those books is in pristine condition, and carefully dusted and cared for, and stored in perfect order. I'll sometimes ask to borrow a book, she finds it instantly. However, the whole time I have it I know she is anxious she won't get it back, so I make very certain to return it ASAP. I have given her many books as well, and when I do, you'd think I gave her millions of dollars. Anyway, her home is perfectly neat and clean and so are her books.

As for the story about $700,000 worth of QVC stuff - don't believe everything you read on the internet.

@151949  I wouldn't consider your friend a hoarder, but a collector of books.   There is a big difference. 

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[chrystaltree]

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@CelticCrafter wrote:

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@chrystaltree wrote:

Well, $700K makes me raise my eyebrows.  However, I have known of two elderly women who passed away and when their families cleaned out their houses, they were shocked.  Rooms full of never opened QVC and HSN boxes.  One woman who was a co-worker said she always wondered why her mother never let anyone go upstairs in her house.  And then she did and every room was bursting with the stuff.  So, yes.  There are a lot of elderly women who are lonely and no have no social outlets and they have credit cards and money is not a problem.  They watch shopping channels....and buy stuff.  Honestly, I go back and forth on how I feel about this but I think that people, even eldery people have every right to do whatever they want with the money.  In the cases, I know of the women had no financial problems.  So, some people travel.  Some people donate large amounts of  money to various charities (my dad was like that).  Other people shop.  If that's what gives them joy, I have no problems with that.   I can say that it is a bummer for family members who have dispose of years and years of "stuff" because it's brand new so it's it's not a matter of "throw it in the dumpster".  

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I know someone like that, cannot say no to any animal charity that comes along.  That's okay but it has gotten to the point where she is now struggling to take care of herself - bills, food, necessary repairs for her condo and car.

I agree it does become a problem when the person donates money that they cannot afford to donate.  If that person is having trouble paying her own bills, it's sounds like she needs a guardian to manager her money.  My dad gave a lot to his church and took joy in giving to a host of charities.  He was financially secure but no where near wealthy.  He just liked giving.  We knew about his church but we didn't know the full extent of his generosity until he passed and we saw his checkbook.  

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[chrystaltree]

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@AuntG wrote:

Troubling in that she was spending money on things she did not need or use. There had to be an underlying issue with that lady.

There is.  It's called being lonely.

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[blackhole99]

My MIL was another elderly person who did not want the family to go up stairs, we had to use the powder room to go to the bathroom. After she died and we cleaned the place out we also found loads of stuff from the Q, some looked like it was never used and there was product in boxes unopened. Now here's the thing, my MIL would say she doesn't buy from QVC.

[SilleeMee]

I don't want to be looking down at my place when they find my stash of jewelry after I'm gone.