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[ Edited ]

1.   Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything is broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.                                                             Jerry Seinfeld


2.   A father carries pictures where his money used to be in his wallet.                                                     Steve Martin


3.   Sometimes I am amazed that my wife and I created two human beings from scratch yet struggle to assemble the most basic of IKEA cabinets.                       Greg Kinnear


4.   When you got more than one kid, you just wake up angry.

                                                                   Kevin Hart


5.   The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.

                                                                   Tim Russert


6.   Buying your kids a goldfish is a great way to teach them about responsibility for 24 to 36 hours.     Conan O'Brien


7.   The first half part of our lives is ruined by our parents, the second half by our children.                  Clarence Darrow


8.   Nobody appreciates Daddy.  I'm talking about the real Daddy that handles the (expletive) business.  Nobody ever says, "Hey Daddy, I sure love this hot water!"  "Hey Daddy, thanks for knocking out this rent."  "Hey Daddy, it's easy to read with all this light!"                                 Chris Rock


9.   If my kid vanished on a plane like in that movie with Jodi Foster, I'd spend maybe two to three hours enjoying the leg room and quiet before I started looking.

                                                                       Ken Jennings


10.   "I rescind my early statement, "I could never fall in love with a girl who regularly poops her pants."   I hadn't met my daughter yet.                                                Dex Shepard


11,   Fatherhood is great because you ruin someone from scratch.                                                       Jon Stewart


                             I'm Just The Messenger

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam
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10. "I rescind my early statement, "I could never fall in love with a girl who regularly poops her pants." I hadn't met my daughter yet. Dex Shepard




baby laugh.jpg

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,602
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

All so true number 8 had me laughing. Thanks @Lindsays Grandma ❤️☕️

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I laughed so hard at 1 and  2 and then read the one about the missing kid on the plane and could so relate.  Poor parents who are run ragged.  LOL  Thanks for morning laughs.

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Registered: ‎06-15-2014

Really funny, very  appropriate for Father's Day.

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Posts: 8,239
Registered: ‎06-13-2010

@Lindsays Grandma 😂😂😂. This is a hilarious set, but numbers 2,5, and 9 have me in STITCHES.😂😂😂😂



~~~All we need is LOVE💖