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Regular Contributor
Posts: 218
Registered: ‎01-12-2012

Re: Punishing the victim or avoiding a problem?

God bless that young man and his strong sense of his individuality.

When I was a kid playing Little League my best friend was the only good pitcher on the team. He also wasn't afraid to speak his mind. He once struck out 18 kids in a 6 inning game. Then he got thrown off the team for reading poetry on the bench.

When the coach asked him if he had anything to say for himself he responded ""What this team needs is more guys reading poetry on the bench.""

Maybe that school needs more boys with My Little Pony bags.

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,680
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Punishing the victim or avoiding a problem?

Pity this isn't being used as an opportunity to educate the children on acceptance. Of course the easiest path is to tell the child to leave the bag at home. Why educate beyond the predetermined curriculum.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,287
Registered: ‎01-24-2013

Re: Punishing the victim or avoiding a problem?

On 3/11/2014 RainCityGirl said:

Here's the deal. Kids can be mean and brutal. While the pony bag may be the boy's choice du jour, he many have to rethink rainbows and ponies. To me, it's like wearing a neon sign that says "Kick me." I know it's not right and it's the other kids, not him, but sometimes, you just have to take the path of least resistance in order to be free of harassment. I don't know all the details regarding the school's handling of this. I would assume that the parents of the bullies were brought into it, but maybe not. Kids get picked on for a variety of reasons, some of it not their fault, and some of it fomented by them. Chances are he also gets bullied about his name and possibly by how he behaves in social situations. Just a guess. At any rate, even if the school took drastic action, that doesn't guarantee he wouldn't still be bullied...off campus, of course. As I said....kids are vicious and cruel at times, and anything this boy can do to diminish the attacks would contribute to a more pleasant environment for him.

I agree. It doesn't make it okay but that's probably what's been going on.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,970
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Punishing the victim or avoiding a problem?

On 3/12/2014 boby said:

God bless that young man and his strong sense of his individuality.

When I was a kid playing Little League my best friend was the only good pitcher on the team. He also wasn't afraid to speak his mind. He once struck out 18 kids in a 6 inning game. Then he got thrown off the team for reading poetry on the bench.

When the coach asked him if he had anything to say for himself he responded ""What this team needs is more guys reading poetry on the bench.""

Maybe that school needs more boys with My Little Pony bags.

Love this.
Super Contributor
Posts: 856
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Punishing the victim or avoiding a problem?

On 3/11/2014 RainCityGirl said:

Here's the deal. Kids can be mean and brutal. While the pony bag may be the boy's choice du jour, he many have to rethink rainbows and ponies. To me, it's like wearing a neon sign that says "Kick me." I know it's not right and it's the other kids, not him, but sometimes, you just have to take the path of least resistance in order to be free of harassment. I don't know all the details regarding the school's handling of this. I would assume that the parents of the bullies were brought into it, but maybe not. Kids get picked on for a variety of reasons, some of it not their fault, and some of it fomented by them. Chances are he also gets bullied about his name and possibly by how he behaves in social situations. Just a guess. At any rate, even if the school took drastic action, that doesn't guarantee he wouldn't still be bullied...off campus, of course. As I said....kids are vicious and cruel at times, and anything this boy can do to diminish the attacks would contribute to a more pleasant environment for him.

Using this logic, which may be true, there is no reason to leave the bag at home. He's already been designated as a target, so nothing would be likely to change.

If my son were strong enough to want to take that darned bag, knowing full well what he may be in store for, what kind of a mother would I be to deny him that? What lesson would I be teaching him? I truthfully think that at his young age, he is already more mature than the adults around him who seem to feel it's best to capitulate rather than stand up for what you believe in.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 1,320
Registered: ‎01-31-2012

Re: Punishing the victim or avoiding a problem?

Super Contributor
Posts: 856
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Punishing the victim or avoiding a problem?

He's a handsome little guy! Thanks for the link, Marp.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,839
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Punishing the victim or avoiding a problem?

On 3/11/2014 PurpleBunny said: Now the school is bullying. Anyone that attacks a kid over his choice of cartoon character needs immediate attention and correction. The backpack isn't the problem. What's next? Some kid doesn't like little girls wearing blue?


I agree with Purple Bunny. This is ridiculous, let the poor kid carry his backpack already!

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make~ The Beatles
Super Contributor
Posts: 290
Registered: ‎08-08-2013

Re: Punishing the victim or avoiding a problem?

On 3/12/2014 ------ said:

Pity this isn't being used as an opportunity to educate the children on acceptance. Of course the easiest path is to tell the child to leave the bag at home. Why educate beyond the predetermined curriculum.

In a perfect world this should be the case, but unfortunately kids would find something else to harass him about probably.

A house is not a home without a cat!
Super Contributor
Posts: 2,589
Registered: ‎12-16-2012

Re: Punishing the victim or avoiding a problem?

On 3/11/2014 occasional rain said:
On 3/11/2014 RainCityGirl said:

Here's the deal. Kids can be mean and brutal. While the pony bag may be the boy's choice du jour, he many have to rethink rainbows and ponies. To me, it's like wearing a neon sign that says "Kick me." I know it's not right and it's the other kids, not him, but sometimes, you just have to take the path of least resistance in order to be free of harassment. I don't know all the details regarding the school's handling of this. I would assume that the parents of the bullies were brought into it, but maybe not. Kids get picked on for a variety of reasons, some of it not their fault, and some of it fomented by them. Chances are he also gets bullied about his name and possibly by how he behaves in social situations. Just a guess. At any rate, even if the school took drastic action, that doesn't guarantee he wouldn't still be bullied...off campus, of course. As I said....kids are vicious and cruel at times, and anything this boy can do to diminish the attacks would contribute to a more pleasant environment for him.

So you expect a person to conform to what others find acceptable to get by? What about celebrating individuality? What about the right to be free of harassment? What about making an example of the bullies instead of expecting a person to avoid being themselves?

The fact is that there are behaviors that even children avoid because of the consequences. The consequences need to be severe enough to prevent bullying in the first place.

NO, I expect a person to be treated with respect and dignity and for that person to do that in return, but that just doesn't happen, particularly in an institutional environment. I am very familiar with what happens in schools with kids and with parents. As for schools, there are regulatory guidelines in each state for dealing with certain kinds of behavior, and that is what schools follow. Suspension for a few days is the usual for bullying, unless it involves violence, in which case the police are brought in and charges are filed. I also know that there are many other factors that could be at play here besides a book bag. I have seen kids wear their individuality as a badge of honor regardless of what others said to them; I've seen kids do and say things to agitate and then cry foul when others come after them; I've seen kids who bask in negative attention from others; I have also seen kids be very sad victims of vicious bullying. In most cases, all of these behaviors are a reflection of what has gone on in the homes in their formative years. As a parent if I thought I could save my child some heartache, I would encourage him to carry the bag and participate in My Little Pony club activities beyond the school day. As an administrator, I would first have the school counselor arrange a one on one intervention with each bully and the victim. I would do the same with the parents of each.