Community Chat

[ROMARY]

It would be nice if everyone would have both.   Deep, heartfelt sorrow and understanding and also placing ourselves in other folks' shoes (and vice-versa).  Well, we can only hope.

[GCR18]

I recently went to a training session at work that reviewed this topic.  Sympathy is understanding the other person's feelings even though you haven't experienced them.  Sorry you lost your job, it must be a difficult time for you.  Empathy is knowing the other person's feelings because you experienced the same situation and felt them.  I understand how you must feel, I lost a job once.

[Isobel Archer]

Again, I think a lot depends on the situation.

Empathy is great, but if your friend is continually involving herself in abusive relationships, at what point do you recommend counseling - or even suggest that she might be endangering herself?

In that case, I do think you have to earn the right to say the above - and empathy does come first, but just "feeling her pain" isn't ultimately helping her.

[LilacTree]

Whenever I say "I can empathize," it's because I have had my own experience with the issue, been through it, and understand it.  I feel I am relating to the person.

Sympathy is different in that one does not have to have had the experience (e.g., the death of a loved one) but feels a great deal of compassion for someone who is going through a death or is having any kind of sad or difficult time.

Now I'll google it!

[ROMARY]

p.s. My first thought was:  Well, I hope it works.   I don't know if genuine empathy and heartfelt sympathy can be learned once a person is an adult and hasn't had those feelings.  It's probably easier to 'train' babies/toddlers/children.  You have to begin training them at a very early age.   Feeling sorry for a younger sibling who is sad, etc.  Also, taking good care of and being very careful with their pets.   All kinds of 'training' that would be beneficial to youngsters.   Training them to not be 'mean'.   Having a conscience is important. 

[lolakimono]

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@sidsmom wrote:

How can you “train” for this?

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@sidsmom

I think the idea is that people are lacking personal connections, either because of their reliance on technology or the general "busyness" that kids are exposed to daily.  There are certain skills that they have either never learned or have forgotten, like the ability to apologize to someone when there are hurt feelings.  There are restorative justice programs being piloted in some schools.  The emphasis on working together or cooperative learning creates problems when people hold grudges, cannot get along with others, or are unable to understand viewpoints that differ from their own.   

[ROMARY]

Lola:  Love the cartoon!  I actually had a cat who was friends with a white calico spotted gopher or mouse or whatever (in my back yard).   My cat would just lay/lie next to it, dozing off, not at all interested in catching/eating it.   Also, my cat made friends with a small duck.  In fact, my cat decided that lettuce tasted good, after watching me feed that duck.  The duck would peck at and eat the lettuce, and so would my cat!  lol.   It's amazing how some animals will 'copy' another critter.   I call that a form of 'empathy'.

[sidsmom]

@lolakimono

Yes, the cartoon is cute!

IDK....I have to chew on this for a while.

My initial gut reaction is...it’s just part of our DNA.

It’s not a Nature vs Nurture situation.

Good topic to ponder over!

[chrystaltree]

How much of my grade depends on this?   Is there an extra credit question?

[software]

to me Empathy indicates more of a connection with people.

One of the reasons group therapy can be successful.

You have a group of people with a similar experience who can empathize with each other rather than be surrounded by people who merely sympathize.

Such in the loss of a loved one.    Many people with express sympathy, but sometimes you need more.   You need to be around people who genuinely  empathize.   Many feelings and experiences are a "given".  You don't have to explain everything, particularly to people who could never understand.

I understood this when I became a widow.    You have married friends who sympathize and are genuine but they can't put themselves in your shoes and understand the deep loss of your "other half"

I've been through hurricanes and tornados, I can certainly empathize with others who have experienced it as well.   I've experienced almost every kind of disaster-  death, natural disaster, criminal victim, you name it.    Like another poster mentioned, I really don't see how it can be learned.   But on the other hand, there are many people, volunteers and professionals, who can be very effective in assisting people with loss.   But I think every one of them have a back story that put them on that path.