Presents (Gifts) I AM DONE!

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

Odd this should come up today (in another thread). I decided that was not the place for my thoughts today. So I moved it.

Over the past few weeks I have decided I'm not buying any gifts anymore for anyone in my family, including my girls and my grandchildren. No matter how hard I try, they wind up not liking it, not wearing it, never using it, etc. It's not that it hurts my feelings . . . oh forget that . . . it hurts my feelings!

And I have even had them pick out something themselves and wind up not ever seeing it again. My daughter's Christmas gift, an aromatherapy diffuser she had been saying she needed in her bedroom. I don't see it anywhere, it's probably in a box in her closet. I am done. I have always been a huge gift giver . . . but no more. A card, a "Happy Birthday," and a kiss and a hug. That's it.

As always, when they need something (like my grandson needed a laptop for school), I am right there buying it for them. Those are the only times they are getting something from me. WHEN THEY NEED IT, a specific thing.

No more, not for me anyway. (I await the criticism, LOL.)

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

Halidon · ‎12-18-2014

Lilactree I'm so sorry you feel this way. You sound like you're very generous! Know in your heart that you should be valued for you, not for what you can give. Maybe this is just a rough patch and temporary. Cyberhugs.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

Different reasons, but I'm done with nieces and their children.

When I had to continually ask if they got birthday, Christmas - whatever - I was over it...and it took a while to get over me feeling guilty for not gifting them anymore.

aggravated · ‎03-12-2010

My sister-in-law and brother-in-law (his family is in Canada) have said the same thing. They have had his relatives stay with them for weeks (they live in Florida near the beach) and never hear from the afterwards - no thank you, nothing. Brothers wrote asking them to buy laptops for their children - no thank you anythings - phone calls or cards. They, too, said they are done.

Nomorebirthdays · ‎06-10-2015

I wont be critical of your decision. I would love to cut way back, but my one sister and mom won't hear to it. At Christmas we exchange with 19 people, some I only see 3 or 4 times a year, adult nieces, nephews, great nieces and nephews, it's ridiculous. But they throw a fit if I mention it. I really hate to shop and no one needs a thing. They continue to think we will have a Waltons mountain Christmas when in fact some of do not even like each other. I think Christmas is for the kids. I too have decided after my mom passes this will stop, Kids only.

cotton4me · ‎03-09-2010

I think there comes a time for many people, especially retirees, where it’s best to let go of the gift giving. I remember when my grandparents told everyone they were no longer going to be buying gifts for anyone. I thought that was great. Many people are on limited incomes or don’t have the wherewithal to look for and buy gifts. I think a card is fine and lets them know you’re thinking of them.

Halidon · ‎12-18-2014

This is interesting as I have bought a tremendous amount of bridal showers, baby showers, weddings, graduations and holiday presents. Out of all of those events, I received two thank you mentions, one by formal mail, the other by text. Maybe it's not etiquette anymore for simple thank yous? My mother pounced it in our noggins to always say thank you. We do have the right to do as we wish however. An invitation is a request, not a demand. I read that somewhere.

LilacTree · ‎03-25-2012

@Nomorebirthdays wrote:
I wont be critical of your decision. I would love to cut way back, but my one sister and mom won't hear to it. At Christmas we exchange with 19 people, some I only see 3 or 4 times a year, adult nieces, nephews, great nieces and nephews, it's ridiculous. But they throw a fit if I mention it. I really hate to shop and no one needs a thing. They continue to think we will have a Waltons mountain Christmas when in fact some of do not even like each other. I think Christmas is for the kids. I too have decided after my mom passes this will stop, Kids only.

@Nomorebirthdays

I don't have any little kids anymore. My youngest granddaughter is 14 . . . and she doesn't like anything!

You buy for 19 people? My goodness!! That's one thing my beloved sister and I settled a long, long time ago, as we have a large family. We pledged to buy just for our own kids. Now there are over 40 in our extended family. Can you imagine?? Who could afford that?

But again, I will say with me it's not the money. It's wasted money maybe, but that is not my point these days. I just like to please my loved ones, and if I'm not, then it's time to stop.

Formerly Ford1224
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Elie Wiesel 1986

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

We are cutting back as well, we rarely get a thank you.....some may say it's not about the thank you but to me if a gift is given and thank you is expected......this will be the first year we have not given our grandaughter (married with children) a birthday check. We are not making any announcements, just sending a card. When her sister turns 18, she will be done as well.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@LilacTree I agree it is time to stop if they don't enjoy their gifts.Maybe you could purchase event gifts or movie tickets or a family zoo pass.I know my son and his gf love going to entertainment events of all kinds.I think those tickets are a waste but they love it so it is all good.