Pre Nups. Just for conversation. - Page 5

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Lipstickdiva wrote:
I see nothing wrong with them.

But I know 2 people who signed a pre-nup and both were thrown out because both parties used the same attorney and a judge considered it a conflict of interest. So if I were ever in need of a pre-nup and I was the one that wanted it, I would make sure my husband to be had it reviewed by his own attorney.

Yes, a judge can decide that a pre-nup is not enforceable if he/she feels both parties were not adequately advised and represented.

When I got divorced (no pre-nup), everything was very amicable and we wanted to have one attorney (a family friend) represent both of us. We were told that would be fine, but advised that it would be better to have two separate attorneys for exactly the same reason.

Cindy-QVC · ‎06-14-2015

Moved:

This post has been removed by QVC because unkind

proudlyfromNJ · ‎05-01-2010

@BirkiLady wrote:
@proudlyfromNJ What a foolish and selfish way to handle money. Two previous generations who worked hard and made the money grow would be so disappointed in you.

I'm grateful my family know it's to be passed down. They are grateful for the monetary gifts I provide them annually (out of my own income), which no one needs due to their own work ethics.

@BirkiLady. Lol. Just who should I leave it to? Passed down to who? No kids here. ETA. My family does not work that way re keep handing it down from generation to generation. That was never their intention.

Financialgrl · ‎03-13-2010

I[m all for it. I'm single but my youngest brother/SIL (no kids) have a pre-nup should they divorce which basically says all assets since married would get split equally.

They both got inheritances and lived together for 3 years before marrying. Before they moved in together they took all monies each had and put into an account in their own names (added each other as beneficiary should they die). Once married all monies went into joint accounts to pay all expenses going forward. Doing so means that if they divorce - neither gets a part of what was mostly family monies. If they die together in a car or plane wreck - the monies will be combined and divided equally among their siblings.

SahmIam · ‎04-16-2010

I want to add in one thing:

A pre-nup is simply a contract. And any contract can be contested. I watched a very dear friend (and former roommate) go through a HORRIBLE divorce that took years and cost 7 figures because though they both signed a pre-nup (each brought sizable assets to the marriage), HE wanted HER stuff since SHE filed for divorce. They were both smart, well educated and held high level positions. To say it was a shock to those of us who knew them would be an understatement. I thought pre-nups would prevent that from happening; no, not if one party really wants to fight it.

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

@Financialgrl wrote:
I[m all for it. I'm single but my youngest brother/SIL (no kids) have a pre-nup should they divorce which basically says all assets since married would get split equally.

They both got inheritances and lived together for 3 years before marrying. Before they moved in together they took all monies each had and put into an account in their own names (added each other as beneficiary should they die). Once married all monies went into joint accounts to pay all expenses going forward. Doing so means that if they divorce - neither gets a part of what was mostly family monies. If they die together in a car or plane wreck - the monies will be combined and divided equally among their siblings.

It's my understanding that once you co-mingle assets or inheritances it gets split 50/50 if there is a divorce.

BirkiLady · ‎02-22-2015

@CelticCrafter A savvy person with financial interests does NOT "co-mingle" family money or inheritances simply because of marriage. Some families have amounted massive estates which have been designated for their heirs. Not everyone marries for money! Thus, the pre-nups and use of excellent law firms with exceptional attorney's in the field are necessary.

Seems like there is a lot of misunderstanding about pre-nups, inheritances and monied families on this forum. Talk with your (reputable) attorney if you have questions.

The comments (from so many posters) sound like they came from a gossip column to me. So much drama!

Money screams; wealth whispers.

arrabella · ‎03-12-2010

Even in some circumstances when young couples marry and have nothing, one or the other could inherit money from their parents. In some states that would become community property. If I was in that position, I sure would want that money protected!

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:
@BirkiLady wrote:
@proudlyfromNJ What a foolish and selfish way to handle money. Two previous generations who worked hard and made the money grow would be so disappointed in you.

I'm grateful my family know it's to be passed down. They are grateful for the monetary gifts I provide them annually (out of my own income), which no one needs due to their own work ethics.
@BirkiLady. Lol. Just who should I leave it to? Passed down to who? No kids here. ETA. My family does not work that way re keep handing it down from generation to generation. That was never their intention.

For whatever it's worth, I don't see it as "foolish" or "selfish". That was harsh, and unnecessary, IMO. Not every family handles inheritances the same way, and I've never heard of holding onto them and passing them down generation after generation. That's fine for those who want to do it, but I never thought the intent of inheritances was to hold onto them.

If I leave money to my children (and grandchildren when I have them), I want them to have it and I want them to use it. I don't see anything wrong with that. If it enables them to buy a house or if it eases a financial burden, or allows them to travel or whatever, I would be very pleased. I don't want them to hold onto it and hoard it. I want them to enjoy it. They, in turn, will leave an inheritance for their children and grandchildren. That's how it goes in my family, and we are fine, intelligent, and honorable people. Certainly not foolish and certainly not selfish. I'm pretty sure most families handle inheritances the same way.

Saying that someone's ancestors would be disappointed in them is beyond presumputous and is entirely inappropriate. That response sounded very uppity to me!

proudlyfromNJ · ‎05-01-2010

@NYC Susan wrote:
@proudlyfromNJ wrote:
@BirkiLady wrote:
@proudlyfromNJ What a foolish and selfish way to handle money. Two previous generations who worked hard and made the money grow would be so disappointed in you.

I'm grateful my family know it's to be passed down. They are grateful for the monetary gifts I provide them annually (out of my own income), which no one needs due to their own work ethics.
@BirkiLady. Lol. Just who should I leave it to? Passed down to who? No kids here. ETA. My family does not work that way re keep handing it down from generation to generation. That was never their intention.

For whatever it's worth, I don't see it as "foolish" or "selfish". That was harsh, and unnecessary, IMO. Not every family handles inheritances the same way, and I've never heard of holding onto it and passing it down generation after generation. That's fine for those who want to do it, but I never thought the intent of inheritances was to hold onto it.

If I leave money to my children (and grandchildren when I have them), I want them to have it and I want them to use it. I don't see anything wrong with that. If it enables them to buy a house or if it eases a financial burden, or allows them to travel or whatever, I would be very pleased. I don't want them to hold onto it and hoard it. I want them to enjoy it. They, in turn, will leave an inheritance for their children and grandchildren. That's how it goes in my family, and we are fine, intelligent, and honorable people. Certainly not foolish and certainly not selfish. I'm pretty sure most families handle inheritances the same way.

Saying that someone's ancestors would be disappointed in them is beyond presumputous and is entirely inappropriate. That response sounded very uppity to me!

@NYC Susan Yes, I agree with everything you said. Everyone has different ideas about inheritances, but to make fun of and put your ideas on someone else is rude and crude. I can’t say what I think about this poster or I would get a time out or banned.