Reply
Honored Contributor
Posts: 39,897
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

Re: Pre Nups. Just for conversation.


@Pook wrote:

I'm not a big fan of marriage and think everyone needs to be self supporting - married or not!  Prenups should be mandatory even if both have very little.  There would be far less to fight about in a divorce.  If one makes way more than the other, has more assets or property  than that person should take away more in a divorce.   Joint ventures should be shared equally and revisions need to be made on an ongoing basis to reflect this.  I have seen so many men left with little and they loose their house and most of their assets as well as part of a business they built up and the wife contributted nothing.  I would be ashamed to be dependent on a man - or anyone - for my support.  


 

@Pook 

 

Mandatory pre-nups .... very interesting idea.    Of course, divorce lawyers would fight the idea with everything they've got.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,580
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Pre Nups. Just for conversation.

I see nothing wrong with them.

 

But I know 2 people who signed a pre-nup and both were thrown out because both parties used the same attorney and a judge considered it a conflict of interest.  So if I were ever in need of a pre-nup and I was the one that wanted it, I would make sure my husband to be had it reviewed by his own attorney. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,434
Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Pre Nups. Just for conversation.

Yes, each fiance their own attorney.

Very important.

 

Also, yes, a pre-nup, especially if one (or both) of the parties has significant assets, including family business ventures.

 

Such as farming families, etc.

Often times one entire family owns a large/huge farming business venture, including land; and sometimes the 'inlaws' aren't meant to be included in the venture. 

(Well, that's what I've heard, right or wrong.)

 

'All in all', wishing all marriage the best of luck.

'More or less', 'Right or wrong', 'In general', and 'Just thinking out loud ' (as usual).
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,839
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Pre Nups. Just for conversation.

Well neither DH or me are millionaires (obviously lol) but I don't care for them because I feel if you ask for a pre-nup you don't trust your mate (be it a male or female asking).  And I'd personally be offended if someone asked me to sign one! But again Im not loaded so maybe i'd have a different opinion if I was rich, but I dont think so, because money is last on my list of priorities in life. If I were rich I would more than likely help others with the money I had. Seriously.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make~ The Beatles
Honored Contributor
Posts: 39,897
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

Re: Pre Nups. Just for conversation.


@BirkiLady wrote:

My husband agreed to sign a pre-nup in 1969. He know before asking me to marry him (in 1966) it would probably be necessary. I had never thought about it, but was glad he already had. Saved me the uncomfortable problem of bringing it up!

And no, he didn't marry for money. We were a great team and worked for everything we had until I inherited from two aunts and later, from my dad, before my husband passed away in 2005. Mom passed away two years ago.

All monies inherited have been placed in seperate accounts to continue building more money for future generations. Our family has not spent the inheritances from the last three generations and I don't intend to break that tradition!

I live completely within my own means and oversea my family money. 

 

ETA: For the same reasons my son and DIL also had a pre-nup when they married. She wasn't pleased with the thought of having to sign it. He simply told he if she didn't there would not be a marriage. She thought about it a few weeks and decided it would be in her best interest to sign it! She's lived better than she ever dreamed. 


 

 

@BirkiLady 

 

I hope she had an attorney look at it, and didn't just blindly sign it.   Hopefully she didn't sign all her rights away.   

 

FYI, Pre-nps signed under duress are now being thrown out of court in divorce proceedings.

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,365
Registered: ‎05-01-2010

Re: Pre Nups. Just for conversation.


@BirkiLady wrote:

My husband agreed to sign a pre-nup in 1969. He know before asking me to marry him (in 1966) it would probably be necessary. I had never thought about it, but was glad he already had. Saved me the uncomfortable problem of bringing it up!

And no, he didn't marry for money. We were a great team and worked for everything we had until I inherited from two aunts and later, from my dad, before my husband passed away in 2005. Mom passed away two years ago.

All monies inherited have been placed in seperate accounts to continue building more money for future generations. Our family has not spent the inheritances from the last three generations and I don't intend to break that tradition!

I live completely within my own means and oversea my family money. 

 

ETA: For the same reasons my son and DIL also had a pre-nup when they married. She wasn't pleased with the thought of having to sign it. He simply told he if she didn't there would not be a marriage. She thought about it a few weeks and decided it would be in her best interest to sign it! She's lived better than she ever dreamed. 


@BirkiLady. Your paragraph about inherited money hits home. Ours is from two generations and not spent. Mine will be spent. Every last penny. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,367
Registered: ‎02-22-2015

Re: Pre Nups. Just for conversation.

@Lipstickdiva  A reputable attorney will insist upon individual attorney's. One for each party when drawing up the pre-nup. In essence, there are two halves to a pre-nup to make the entire document work after negotiations have been worked out. Thought everyone did it that way. We did 50 years ago! 

Money screams; wealth whispers.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,367
Registered: ‎02-22-2015

Re: Pre Nups. Just for conversation.

@Tinkrbl44  They each had their own attorney represent them in drawing up a pre-nup in 2001. Just like we had done with two attorney's in 1969. Of course my son didn't have her sign anything without her own attorney providing a pre-nup of her own! They then worked out an agreeable document from the two submitted by their own attorneys. Thought everyone did that with a pre-nup. How else would it be legal and binding?

A reputable attorney always insists on two attorney's for a pre-nup.  

Money screams; wealth whispers.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,367
Registered: ‎02-22-2015

Re: Pre Nups. Just for conversation.

@proudlyfromNJ  What a foolish and selfish way to handle money. Two previous generations who worked hard and made the money grow would be so disappointed in you.

 

I'm grateful my family know it's to be passed down. They are grateful for the monetary gifts I provide them annually (out of my own income), which no one needs due to their own work ethics.

Money screams; wealth whispers.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 39,897
Registered: ‎08-23-2010

Re: Pre Nups. Just for conversation.


@BirkiLady wrote:

@Tinkrbl44  They each had their own attorney represent them in drawing up a pre-nup in 2001. Just like we had done with two attorney's in 1969. Of course my son didn't have her sign anything without her own attorney providing a pre-nup of her own! They then worked out an agreeable document from the two submitted by their own attorneys. Thought everyone did that with a pre-nup. How else would it be legal and binding?

A reputable attorney always insists on two attorney's for a pre-nup.  


@BirkiLady 

 

I've read that too many  times a bride is in her dress, ready to walk down the aaisle, and someone says here, sign  this pre-nup .....   or there will be no wedding.  Finally the law was modified so any document, signed under duress wouldn't stand up in court.   Sometimes the bride didn't even read what she signed!