Community Chat

[viva923]

I give what i can afford. Grandkids get what dh and I can afford. 

[SahmIam]

We only exchange with the family that is in the US: grandparents give to us and the children and we all give to them. It's sort of set in stone what we give them and what they give us and we tell them the specific items to purchase for each child (one major item based on their age and then whatever they feel like picking up as little trinkets). 

We enjoy the gift giving but we also have a small number of people we are exchanging with. DH and I don't really exchange; we buy something for ourselves and say "thanks for XYZ!" on Christmas Day. The BIG fun comes from hanging out with family and friends and each other : )

[Snoopygrl]

Our family scaled way back.  We only buy for our dear Mother now.  We figured if we wanted something we could get it ourselves.  It has taken tremedous pressure off.  The important thing is that we are together.

[Deanie]

@ID2

Polls seem to want to drive the behavior not report it. It matters not what it is being polled. They are useless. Herd behavior

[sandy53]

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@Desertdi wrote:

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@twinsister wrote:

We stopped exchanging with the adults in the family a few years ago.  Everyone agreed it was such a relief and took the pressure off.  We only give to the children in our family.  I actually enjoy shopping for them and am able to spend a little more on each child.

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@twinsister   My family, too.    When the "children" turned 18, it way "bye-bye Santa".    If cousins wanted to exchange among themselves, it was up to them.   Most didn't.

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This is exactly what we do in our family.  Now we have the only grandchildren in our extended family and some have chosen to give gifts to them.  I did not expect that and I think it is very loving and generous, but not necessary.  We only give gifts to our DS, DIL, and the grandchildren.  They give us gifts, but something simple.  This year my husband and I are giving ourselves a new bed.

[blackhole99]

We stopped giving gifts even to each others kids long ago when it was very evident the kids could care less.

[esmerelda]

Shopping for gifts was the most stressful part of Christmas for me.  Figuring out and then finding "that perfect gift."  A few years ago one family member suggested we stop exchanging.  It seemed a little odd, but I embraced the idea!  The next year I suggested it to another family member.  And now Christmas is nearly stress free! 

[Financialgrl]

We stopped gift giving years ago along with the huge family meals at T'giving or Christmas.  Each family has their own separate gatherings and only buys gifts for their own immediate household.    

Instead we decided to have all large family gatherings as barbeques during the other 3 seasons where the weather is nicer and can be outside.  We can grill/smoke food outside, eat on picnic tables using tablecloths from the dollar store.  We all pitch in to pay for whatever the "meat" will be such as beef roasts/turkeys/burgers or hot dogs that we'll eat and we each bring a side.  It's informal, the men cook, there are no competing relatives vying for your attention at the same time and in the end you roll up everything and toss away.  

Much less stressful.  

[CAMOGIRL]

🎅🏻We exchange gifts between ourselves, our kids and of course our grandkids.🎅🏻

We have cut back on how much we spend. And, for the past two years,  I actually stuck to my gift budget ... (well OK, pretty darn close) WOOHOO!!

But, I can not see us not doing gifts at all. For us, it is Christmas and that means       decorating 🎄and gifts 🎁. I love Christmas!!

We have not done gifts with other family members or friends for several years now. That all just kinda wound down on its own over time and that is perfectly fine with me. 

[Julie_23]

I'd love it if this idea took off:  if instead of buying a gift for someone (when that gift is often then not what they want or need), what if they simply stated a favorite charity name and said to give the "gift" to their favorite charity?

That way, they'd feel good because it's to a charity of their choosing and you'd feel good about it, too.

If they don't have a specific charity, always just putting the money in a Salvation Army basket is an option and letting them know.  Again, they feel good and you feel good!

And, to think, how many charities could benefit from those "gifts."