Community Chat

[lil spot]

Jules, my friend, you are on my heart today.

[mistriTsquirrel]

I'm glad to hear that your father is doing well, and that you are getting by okay.

Allow yourself some time to take a nice, relaxing bubble bath...

[lil spot]

Eat well and rest often. You and your Daddy are in my prayers.

[Deb1010again]

((Jules)), so glad to hear things are on the upswing. Your ((Dad)) is so lucky to have you! What a devoted loving daughter you are. A true inspiration.

I hope your Dad continues to get his strength back and can return home soon. How cute that the ladies at the care facility are making their introductions. I can just imagine. My mom says my dad is in demand where they live because he's got his hearing and is clear minded. LOL

[dooBdoo]

(((Jules and Dad))), It's good to see your update and to know things look better. As I said before, it's clear you take loving care of your father. Remember, take loving care of yourself, too.

Continuing to send prayers and positive thoughts your way.

[Firefly3]

You did a good job, Jules!

[Q_spirit]

wishing praying and hopes for good things (((((jules))))). we are supportive of you. be well. (-:

[JustJules]

Thanks everyone for your continued good wishes. Mistri, I think today will be that bubble bath day. Lil spot, that basket makes me want to reach through the screen and munch

I'm almost afraid to post anymore because anytime I share something positive, it seems the bottom drops out. When I posted last Monday, my dad had just got to the skilled care facility on Sunday night, so it will be a week today that he has been there. He was having a good day that Monday and I was so encouraged. That night, they let my dad fall out of bed during the night. Keep in mind, my dad was brand new, it was only his 2nd night, and everyone was aware he was an extreme fall risk. He had the caution bracelet on from the hospital, and I did everything but write it in Sharpie across his forehead. The worst part is they didn't call me until 10am the next morning to tell me, nobody called me during the night when it happened. Also, he was supposed to have a bed alarm on that would sound if he tried to get out of bed. I had a "firm discussion" with the director of nursing the next day, and she tried to tell me the alarm was on the bed and on, and that it somehow mysteriously was turned off (implying my dad turned it off). He can barely figure out the tv remote control at home, I doubt he knew how to turn off a strange alarm in the middle of the night in his weak and confused condition. They also should have had a mat on the floor near his bed. All of that was put in place AFTER his fall, including 15 minute checks on him during the night. That should have been protocol from the moment he got there.

This past week has been challenging and a real eye-opener about health care for the elderly. I thought I could feel safe knowing he was in a place with good care that would work to get him stronger so he could come home. The reality is that it is more stressful than having him in the hospital, and I am in constant fear that he will get hurt and be in worse condition than when he arrived. I could choose to be there 24/7 but my health would suffer, they would hate me, and his insurance company isn't paying me to be there to take care of him, they are paying the facility. He had many confused days with some lucid hours in between. The one thing I am please with is his physical therapy, he has been doing pretty good with his mobility, but is still unable to walk without assistance. The biggest concern is his lack of eating, nothing there tastes good to him, and I know it's mostly due to the medication. It changes how food tastes to him and his appetite, but we saw his primary care doctor on Tuesday and he is very concerned about my dad's malnutrition. He has to eat to get better, and the doctor said a feeding tube isn't an option. I had to use some tough love on my dad, he gets angry with me, but I am the only one that can speak firmly to him and I want him to get well. The funny thing is the director of nursing that allowed my dad to fall on the floor, then accused me of being verbally abusive to my dad in the dining hall because I told him he would eat a few bites of his meal or we wouldn't leave the table. I don't see her there making sure he eats anything. Friday night was the worst, he had a horrible day, very confused and irritable, he had somehow managed to get out of bed again the night before, and at least the nurse called me right away, at 4am. He was not hurt, thankfully, but very disoriented. He was angry with me and called me lots of nasty things. I know that is not my daddy, and he had no awareness, but it hurt just the same. The nurse hugged me, and I came home in tears.

I stayed away on purpose yesterday, could not bring myself to go visit him.... was too afraid of what I might encounter, Jekyll or Hyde dad. I found every way to keep myself busy, cleaned and ran errands. I know that sounds horrible, and I finally went to see him around supper time. He was actually more clear minded and was aware I had not been there earlier in the day, said he missed me. We had a discussion that I only want him to get well, but sometimes he says things that hurt me and he acts like he doesn't want me there. It breaks my heart because I am sure his frustration is 1000x what mine is. He is in a body that is weak and confused and not cooperating. He hadn't eaten any dinner again, but said he would eat some fish & chips if I got it. We made a deal, I would go get it if he ate 1 piece of fish because I wasn't going to get it for me. I ran to the local fish shop, and he actually kept his part of the deal. He ate some fish and chips, it was the most I had seen him eat all week. You would think I won the lottery I was so happy. After that he was tired and ready for bed, and he allowed me to help him with a nurse, without argument or fuss.

I am about to go over and visit with him, and I pray he had a good night and is still in a positive mindset this morning. I have looked into transferring him to a different care facility, but he has had so much change with being in the hospital, I don't know if it's fair to disrupt his routine again. I just want the best care for him since I cannot manage him at home by myself right now. Things there seem to be improving since I have chewed some butt the last few days. They know not to mess with me, and I'm sure most of them cringe when they see me arrive, but I'm not there to make friends, I am there to get my dad better.

I never imagined things like this, healthcare shouldn't be such an uphill battle. I now have such empathy for anyone that has gone through this experience. I wish I could afford private nursing for him, but I have to make do with the best we can manage. Aging and illness is definitely not for the weak of spirit. I do so appreciate the thoughts and prayers and good wishes. Hope everyone has a blessed day.

[Suziepeach]

This is for you Jules !!! I've been thinking about you and your dad.

(Please not let a word be said about my juvenile graphic, Jules knows what it means)