People that are habitually late.... - Page 9

GusMo · ‎07-11-2012

It is way over diagnosed

shoekitty · ‎03-10-2010

One theory I have heard about chronic lateness, is it can be a control issue. Sometimes people with lives that they feel they have little control over...subconsciensly they find they can control life with lateness. It may not be a a conscience effort. But lateness can have rewards. People hold dinners for you, they wait for you, they call attention to lateness. That's way in one small minute you can control life..You may not have control over what your work does to you, your medical issues, life's unfairness, but you can control when you show up. Now don't ask me why, lol! Just one theory shrinks have.

most of the time I chalk it up to time management issues, selfishness, poor time skills management and a few disorders like add, depression and such.

“sometimes you have to bite your upper lip and put sunglasses on”….Bob Dylan

Moonchilde · ‎05-23-2010

@shoekitty wrote:
One theory I have heard about chronic lateness, is it can be a control issue. Sometimes people with lives that they feel they have little control over...subconsciensly they find they can control life with lateness. It may not be a a conscience effort. But lateness can have rewards. People hold dinners for you, they wait for you, they call attention to lateness. That's way in one small minute you can control life..You may not have control over what your work does to you, your medical issues, life's unfairness, but you can control when you show up. Now don't ask me why, lol! Just one theory shrinks have.

most of the time I chalk it up to time management issues, selfishness, poor time skills management and a few disorders like add, depression and such.

It was definitely a control issue in my family, as well as narcissism. I think both traits are intertwined.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all

Winter Holiday · ‎06-15-2016

@Mominohio My sister is late to everything. It doesn't matter the event. I suspect she is late to work too. Every time she is asked to come over she is an hour late. My brother started telling her an hour later for when he really was going to serve food. She's not a kid she is in her fifties.

One Christmas she invited us to her place. She lives in a different state than we do. We arrived and she freaked out because we got there at noon and it seemed she just woke up. She had tons of presents around 50 no joke that I can bet she wrapped the night before. She didn't even have her tree decorated either stating she had no time. My brother started decorating her tree on Christmas Day. I was basically like why bother? My sister didn't have any food prepared for us either. We ate three hours later and didn't spend much time after ward because we all had to hurry and head back home for work the next day.

Everyone has the same 24 hours its how a person prioritizes things. Habitually late people do not prioritize things. They are selfish and don't plan. Plan what you need the day before or much sooner and leave early or start early and there won't be a problem.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@Winter Holiday wrote:
@Mominohio My sister is late to everything. It doesn't matter the event. I suspect she is late to work too. Every time she is asked to come over she is an hour late. My brother started telling her an hour later for when he really was going to serve food. She's not a kid she is in her fifties.

One Christmas she invited us to her place. She lives in a different state than we do. We arrived and she freaked out because we got there at noon and it seemed she just woke up. She had tons of presents around 50 no joke that I can bet she wrapped the night before. She didn't even have her tree decorated either stating she had no time. My brother started decorating her tree on Christmas Day. I was basically like why bother? My sister didn't have any food prepared for us either. We ate three hours later and didn't spend much time after ward because we all had to hurry and head back home for work the next day.

Everyone has the same 24 hours its how a person prioritizes things. Habitually late people do not prioritize things. They are selfish and don't plan. Plan what you need the day before or much sooner and leave early or start early and there won't be a problem.

@Winter Holiday

Reading your post almost made me feel bad for your sister. You certainly know her better than I do, and I figure when people are late for literally everything in their lives (some people manage to be on time for certain things like work, but not for other things, like social engagements, which tells me they are capable of being on time) to the point of what should have been (for your sister) total embarrassment, perhaps there is some form of depression involved. She appears to have been more than just 'late' with this scheduled event.

I know that depression can deter people from getting things done. It would have been very embarrassing for you all who went to visit. Nothing worse than being invited to an event, then not feel welcome because the host didn't prepare. And after enough times of experiencing that, one does tend to be more angry/frustrated than understanding.

I have always been a planner, a list maker, a do ahead kind of person. I get easily frustrated with people who aren't, especially if it affects my life. And you are so right about everyone having the same 24 hours. I think many people today try to do way more things than they can fit in that time period, become frustrated, the blow the 'schedule' they need to be on.

It is just a fact that some people can get more done in a defined period of time than others. They have more energy, more strength, more organizational skills. People need to know their limits and abilities, and not over commit to things, be realistic about what they are able to fit into any given time frame, and learn some way to stay focused on a schedule.

abbeythe 8th · ‎04-17-2010

@GusMo wrote:
It is way over diagnosed

I would have to agree. I am a retired teacher and it seemed in most cases, the boy who wouldn't do his homework and was the troublemaker in class, ended up being diagnosed with a learning disability. They were given IEPs, extra help, and often times medicated but they still had academic and behavioral problems.

Hayfield · ‎03-10-2010

@Nataliesgramma wrote:
It is such a pet peeve of mine....

Yesterday I met with a girlfriend that is ALWAYS late for everything. She is a lovely person and a great friend but had me waiting 40 minutes....I've known her 50 years and she says she is just so disorganized and apologizes profusely.

My brother was always late for Thanksgiving dinner until I told him "we will start eating at 4 PM....and I did whether he was there or not....

I just don't understand what is so hard about being on time....

I had friends that always came late and I started serving dinner and they came late and were real upset with me for not waiting for them!!!!! Needless to say I've never invited them over for dinner again. Oh, if we have dinner reservations at a restaurant, they're on time!

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@GusMo wrote:
So let's say the late person does have ADD. That doesn't mean they can't tell time. To compensate for the ADD, start earlier. Set an alarm. Find a coping strategy.
ADD might be the reason, but still doesn't make it right to be late.

And it isn't someone else's responsibility to make things work for them. It isn't something that others are supposed to 'understand' and 'tolerate'.

Being late can have dire consequences and be dangerous or even cost someone their life (think about people who don't do things on schedule, and what missing medication or treatment could mean to them or someone dependent on them for such).

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@abbeythe 8th wrote:
@GusMo wrote:
It is way over diagnosed
I would have to agree. I am a retired teacher and it seemed in most cases, the boy who wouldn't do his homework and was the troublemaker in class, ended up being diagnosed with a learning disability. They were given IEPs, extra help, and often times medicated but they still had academic and behavioral problems.

It is absolutely still way over diagnosed, because it is much easier to label and medicate people than to work thorough behavior issues, healthy eating, proper rest and exercise schedules, counseling etc., that when attempted first, help so many kids. But that is too much work for many parents, and doctors and pharama get rich off the diagnosis and medications.

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

@Hayfield wrote:
@Nataliesgramma wrote:
It is such a pet peeve of mine....

Yesterday I met with a girlfriend that is ALWAYS late for everything. She is a lovely person and a great friend but had me waiting 40 minutes....I've known her 50 years and she says she is just so disorganized and apologizes profusely.

My brother was always late for Thanksgiving dinner until I told him "we will start eating at 4 PM....and I did whether he was there or not....

I just don't understand what is so hard about being on time....

I had friends that always came late and I started serving dinner and they came late and were real upset with me for not waiting for them!!!!! Needless to say I've never invited them over for dinner again. Oh, if we have dinner reservations at a restaurant, they're on time!

I have a cousin that we invited (with his wife) for a mid day lunch, and made plans to visit some local farms afterward where our grandparents and parents grew up.

We set a time for lunch, and because it was late fall, we were up against 'darkness' to get to the farms while it was still light.

They were about an hour late when they called to say they were watching the OSU game and would be over after it was over. Then after the game was over, we got a call that my cousin was taking a nap, and when he got up, they'd be over.

Well, needless to day, they were late by several hours for a lunch I had prepared, we never got to the farms because it got dark, and I have and never will invite them to anything specific again. If we have an open house type event, with people coming and going with no specific time frame, sure i will, but never again for a time specified event.

They never apologized or seemed to realize what they had done. We had set a specific time, discussed the fact that a meal was being served, and that we would be needing to get out to the farms by a certain time to utilize the daylight hours. It was rude, thoughtless and selfish.

As a good host I didn't say a word, but learned to never get involved in such an event with them, ever again.