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Posts: 223
Registered: ‎06-15-2016

Re: People choosing to not own a car.


@151949 wrote:

@Winter Holiday So you have told us in this thread repeatedly about how you feel others should put themselves out to cater to you and give you rides etc. My question to you is - in what way do you put yourself out to cater to others and do for them? This is a 2 way street you know.


Is this a serious question? Let's see in general I donate to charities especially animal related ones. Toys for Tots and others. The St. Baldrick's foundation. I help people move as in I do physical labor be it lifting heavy things or packing and unpacking. I loan people money if they need it. Oh yes and there is that all important stuff that one can't put a dollar sign on its called emotional support.

 

Please don't do anything in your life that would put you out it should be genuine and helping someone every once in a while is not a bad thing. Some of you make it sound like its one of the most cringe worthy of possibilities out there. 

 

I just wonder why you are making an assumption that I talk without action.  

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Posts: 6,422
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: People choosing to not own a car.


@Cakers wrote:

@Moonchilde wrote:

@Winter Holiday wrote:

@KatCat1 its not about expecting or relying on its about being decent people and helping out every once in awhile. If you can't handle that or refuse to you are not a nice human being and quite frankly someone I personally wouldn't give the time of  day  to. I believe in helping people and selflessness. There is too much selfish in the world me and mine and not enough giving and others. 


 

 

Speaking of time of day, nice human being, etc. - I have seen no such demonstration in your posts. It's your way or nothing, no exceptions, no extenuating circumstances. Anyone who needs a ride for whatever reason is a saint, anyone who isn't willing to provide a ride whenever or wherever is snail slime.

 

I don't think most people in this thread would want to be your bosom buddy either. Ten foot poles and all that.


@MoonchildeWow.  Just wow.  You don't speak for "most people" here. 

 

You don't see your posts as commanding others to act as YOU would while picking at them for the same thing.  It goes on constantly.  Chill out already.

 

smh  I get her point-if you do a person a favor ONCE IN A WHILE and expect something in return then the favor is a negative, imo.

 

 


No one here has an issue with once in awhile.  But she has posted several times on this topic, and she seems to believe that people with cars are beholden to give rides to people without cars whenever they ask.  Otherwise we are unkind and not decent human beings.

 

She leaves no wiggle room.  Non-drivers are in the right no matter what.  Drivers are right only if they drive the non-drivers every time they're asked.  That makes no sense, and is heavily biased toward people who don't drive.  We're not awful human beings if we don't jump every time someone snaps their fingers.  It's very easy to be taken advantage of when you have a car and other people don't.  Sometimes we simply can't do it.  We have lives, jobs, obligations, and sometimes simply no time to drive someone far out of our way.

 

Characterizing people as "not decent" and "selfish" in such a broad way is offensive.

 

 

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Re: People choosing to not own a car.


@nun ya wrote:

I will give someone a ride if I am not busy. I will not give someone a ride if it becomes habit. Buy a car. My time is my time and just as important as yours. 

 

If that makes me bad...I don't care.


Exactly.  I'm happy to do it when and if I can.  And I'll go out of my way, disrupt my own plans, and inconvenience myself if someone is really in need.

 

But if they rely on me all the time - and never at least offer to pay for gas or parking - then I prefer that they not count on me for their transportation.  I'm not on call simply because I own a car and someone else doesn't.

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Posts: 223
Registered: ‎06-15-2016

Re: People choosing to not own a car.


@Moonchilde wrote:

@Winter Holiday wrote:

@KatCat1 its not about expecting or relying on its about being decent people and helping out every once in awhile. If you can't handle that or refuse to you are not a nice human being and quite frankly someone I personally wouldn't give the time of  day  to. I believe in helping people and selflessness. There is too much selfish in the world me and mine and not enough giving and others. 


 

 

Speaking of time of day, nice human being, etc. - I have seen no such demonstration in your posts. It's your way or nothing, no exceptions, no extenuating circumstances. Anyone who needs a ride for whatever reason is a saint, anyone who isn't willing to provide a ride whenever or wherever is snail slime.

 

I don't think most people in this thread would want to be your bosom buddy either. Ten foot poles and all that.


Something must have struck a chord with you. There is nothing wrong with helping people out. Helping people out versus them taking advantage is totally different and one for you to set boundaries.

 

What extenuating circumstances? Person x doesn't like to drive to certain places because they are scared? Either have a car or don't. So much can go wrong while driving but be prepared for that. If someone isn't willing to drive most and I emphasize most places that are fairly local maybe driving isn't for them and I've seen plenty of people who shouldn't be driving. 

 

I've found out that when people say stuff like you do about being bosom buddies and all that they are upset because they feel guilty or something.

 

In physical reality I surround myself with kind people who would do anything for anyone. Nothing is too hard and convenience never comes up. Why would I possibly be around people who wouldn't help others? That is one of the reasons this planet is so bad its the attitude of people negative ones.

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Re: People choosing to not own a car.


@greeneyedlady wrote:

Hard to believe 15 pages about this. Choice means just that, it's individual. Lots of stereotypes here about cities and people who live in them. I've never lived in a city, but living in a sleepy suburb I've felt creeped out and uncomfortable more often than when going into the nearest big city. I went to college for a couple of years in a city, before I transferred. I commuted, and the worst thing I saw was a mentally ill man walking around without pants on. Today in my sleepy suburb a young guy was walking across a parking lot with his baggy shorts so far down that...well it was a full moon in broad daylight.

 

In my sleepy suburb we have bus service, Uber, Lyft, Safr (for women who prefer women drivers). A bike trail for biking to some places. We have two grocery delivery services, and van transportation service for the elderly and disabled.


Yes.  I've been frightened in the suburbs more than I ever have in the city.  For one thing, there are almost always lots of people around in the city, and most areas are brightly lit.  I would far prefer to walk in the city late at night than in the suburbs.

 

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Registered: ‎07-15-2016

Re: People choosing to not own a car.


@LizzieInSRQ wrote:

I've always wondered about those in big cities that they must have to limit the amount they buy at grocery stores, two-three bags max if walking or taking the subway...certainly can't buy ice...how can they if needed?

 

What about grocery shopping and the rain...how do they do it? I know they do for centuries especially in NYC. I just can't imagine *how*. 


@LizzieSRQ

 

I'm a native NYer ... but from age 29 - 49 lived in suburban CA.  Slave to the automobile and the terrible freeways and traffic.  Commuting was a daily horror.  I came back to NY and as soon as I was able ... settled into an apartment in Manhattan and haven't looked back since.

 

There are three supermarkets in my neighborhood - plus several fruit/vegetable markets.  We all have folding grocery carts and umbrellas.   We wheel our carts right into the kitchen to unload our groceries.  

 

In addition to the supermarkets, Trader Joe's is moving into the neighborhood by the end of the year, and there are another Trader Joe's and Whole Foods within walking distance.  From May to November, we have a green market in the neighborhood - farmers from LI and upstate.    

 

There are two Dunkin Donuts and three Starbucks nearby.   Lots of delis ... and three bagel places nearby.  A couple of diners, Chinese restaurant, Thai restaurantMexican restaurant, Belgian restaurant, Italian restaurant, Japanese Restaurant, Chipotle, and even a McDonald's nearby.  And - the usual supply of bakeries.  And if I wanted to walk a couple of blocks further ... Indian restaurants.  I can get a fresh Pizza around the corner.  My gym is a block away.

 

 A couple of privately owned pharmacies, a couple of hospitals, dentists, physical therapists, "Doc in a Box" offices, optometrists (a LensCrafters is around the corner).   Two hardware stores, veterinarian/pet hospital.  My personal doctor is four blocks away.

 

Two Catholic Churches and protestant and Jewish houses of worship ... within walking distance.  There's 2 Catholic grade schools, a public elementary and junior high a couple of blocks away.   

 

I can walk to just about everything I need.  I never want to live anywhere else.  

 

 

 

 

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Re: People choosing to not own a car.


@suzyQ3 wrote:

@mominohio wrote:

I saw this news story on tonight, but was focused on several things at the same time.

 

I thought the focus was not about those who live in major cities, but was more addressing  areas where car ownership is more 'traditional' and more people are now foregoing that for renting cars owned by private individuals.

 

I hope I never have to live somewhere and depend on public transportation for my daily life. It skeeves me out to even go to a movie theater, let alone be on a bus or train everyday to get where I want or need to be. 

 

In my area of the country, not having your own transportation limits your life considerably. It limits where you can live, and still find employment, access shopping, or have any kind of a social life.

 

The larger cities in my state have some public transportation (mostly buses), but the more medium and smaller cities really don't have anything that is of any consequence.

 

 


@mominohio,  why are you bothered by being in a movie theater?


 

@suzyQ3

 

Have you ever seen the theater with the light up really bright (my son's girlfriend used to work at our theater in high school)? The seats are so nasty dirty (unless you have really new theaters in your area, ours are rather old now). And our pediatrician said that head lice from the back of the seats is common. The floors are sticky....the place is just ...blech!

 

I'm not a huge germophobe, but certain places kind of skeeve me out. I don't like doing my laundry in a laundromat (again, most around here are kind of dirty, the last one I had to take a few things to actually had roaches running around, I couldn't get out of there fast enough). And in our area, cabs are only taken by the most unseemly people. I think I'd rather walk ten miles than get in a cab in our nearest town, they are so run down and dirty. 

 

All that said, I do go to the occasional movie,  or a couple of times a year, need to use a laundromat (but don't ride the local buses or cabs!!!). For travel, I'm just really used to my own clean car, and it is just really foreign to me to imagine having to use public transportation on a daily basis, with so many people closed in such confined spaces for daily travel. Just has never been part of my reality. 

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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: People choosing to not own a car.


@Winter Holiday wrote:

@Moonchilde wrote:

@Winter Holiday wrote:

@KatCat1 its not about expecting or relying on its about being decent people and helping out every once in awhile. If you can't handle that or refuse to you are not a nice human being and quite frankly someone I personally wouldn't give the time of  day  to. I believe in helping people and selflessness. There is too much selfish in the world me and mine and not enough giving and others. 


 

 

Speaking of time of day, nice human being, etc. - I have seen no such demonstration in your posts. It's your way or nothing, no exceptions, no extenuating circumstances. Anyone who needs a ride for whatever reason is a saint, anyone who isn't willing to provide a ride whenever or wherever is snail slime.

 

I don't think most people in this thread would want to be your bosom buddy either. Ten foot poles and all that.


Something must have struck a chord with you. There is nothing wrong with helping people out. Helping people out versus them taking advantage is totally different and one for you to set boundaries.

 

What extenuating circumstances? Person x doesn't like to drive to certain places because they are scared? Either have a car or don't. So much can go wrong while driving but be prepared for that. If someone isn't willing to drive most and I emphasize most places that are fairly local maybe driving isn't for them and I've seen plenty of people who shouldn't be driving. 

 

I've found out that when people say stuff like you do about being bosom buddies and all that they are upset because they feel guilty or something.

 

In physical reality I surround myself with kind people who would do anything for anyone. Nothing is too hard and convenience never comes up. Why would I possibly be around people who wouldn't help others? That is one of the reasons this planet is so bad its the attitude of people negative ones.


IMO - you have a quite bizarre POV  - the things you claim you do for others - I seriously doubt - but anyway they are things any of us would do.What do you do that requires you go out of your way personally the same as drivers have to go out of their way to drive you around, apparently at your beck & call.For instance do you volunteer anywhere ? Do you call or visit the sick - feed the poor - How do you put yourself out for others?

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Posts: 6,422
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: People choosing to not own a car.


@Winter Holiday wrote:

@Moonchilde wrote:

@Winter Holiday wrote:

@KatCat1 its not about expecting or relying on its about being decent people and helping out every once in awhile. If you can't handle that or refuse to you are not a nice human being and quite frankly someone I personally wouldn't give the time of  day  to. I believe in helping people and selflessness. There is too much selfish in the world me and mine and not enough giving and others. 


 

 

Speaking of time of day, nice human being, etc. - I have seen no such demonstration in your posts. It's your way or nothing, no exceptions, no extenuating circumstances. Anyone who needs a ride for whatever reason is a saint, anyone who isn't willing to provide a ride whenever or wherever is snail slime.

 

I don't think most people in this thread would want to be your bosom buddy either. Ten foot poles and all that.


Something must have struck a chord with you. There is nothing wrong with helping people out. Helping people out versus them taking advantage is totally different and one for you to set boundaries.

 

What extenuating circumstances? Person x doesn't like to drive to certain places because they are scared? Either have a car or don't. So much can go wrong while driving but be prepared for that. If someone isn't willing to drive most and I emphasize most places that are fairly local maybe driving isn't for them and I've seen plenty of people who shouldn't be driving. 

 

I've found out that when people say stuff like you do about being bosom buddies and all that they are upset because they feel guilty or something.

 

In physical reality I surround myself with kind people who would do anything for anyone. Nothing is too hard and convenience never comes up. Why would I possibly be around people who wouldn't help others? That is one of the reasons this planet is so bad its the attitude of people negative ones.


I'm sorry, but this is just bizarre.  There most certainly can be extenuating circumstances, and most of them have nothing at all to do with fear.  "Either have a car or don't"?  What is that supposed to mean?  Just because I have a car doesn't mean I'm at the beck and call of anyone who wants a ride.  If I have a car, I will choose how and when to use it.  I will decide how much I can spend on gas that week, when it makes more sense to use it and when not to use it, and it's completely up to me when I keep it in the garage and when I take it out.  If I don't want to drive on a particular day, it certainly doesn't mean that "driving isn't for me".  I can't even follow that kind of logic.

 

You talk about being "prepared", and I contend that people who don't drive or own cars also need to be prepared.  Most of us go to various places in the course of our daily lives, and most of us need to get around.  People who don't drive need to figure out how they're going to do that.  They should be, in your words, "prepared for that".

 

I would never choose to live my life relying on other people for my transportation, constantly having to ask, and hoping that someone will be available to do it at the time I need it.  I would find a way to get around myself, and would only ask for help when there really truly was no alternative.  Asking for help when needed is fine, but being self-sufficient is the choice that most mature adults prefer to make.

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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: People choosing to not own a car.


@mominohio wrote:

@suzyQ3 wrote:

@mominohio wrote:

I saw this news story on tonight, but was focused on several things at the same time.

 

I thought the focus was not about those who live in major cities, but was more addressing  areas where car ownership is more 'traditional' and more people are now foregoing that for renting cars owned by private individuals.

 

I hope I never have to live somewhere and depend on public transportation for my daily life. It skeeves me out to even go to a movie theater, let alone be on a bus or train everyday to get where I want or need to be. 

 

In my area of the country, not having your own transportation limits your life considerably. It limits where you can live, and still find employment, access shopping, or have any kind of a social life.

 

The larger cities in my state have some public transportation (mostly buses), but the more medium and smaller cities really don't have anything that is of any consequence.

 

 


@mominohio,  why are you bothered by being in a movie theater?


 

@suzyQ3

 

Have you ever seen the theater with the light up really bright (my son's girlfriend used to work at our theater in high school)? The seats are so nasty dirty (unless you have really new theaters in your area, ours are rather old now). And our pediatrician said that head lice from the back of the seats is common. The floors are sticky....the place is just ...blech!

 

I'm not a huge germophobe, but certain places kind of skeeve me out. I don't like doing my laundry in a laundromat (again, most around here are kind of dirty, the last one I had to take a few things to actually had roaches running around, I couldn't get out of there fast enough). And in our area, cabs are only taken by the most unseemly people. I think I'd rather walk ten miles than get in a cab in our nearest town, they are so run down and dirty. 

 

All that said, I do go to the occasional movie,  or a couple of times a year, need to use a laundromat (but don't ride the local buses or cabs!!!). For travel, I'm just really used to my own clean car, and it is just really foreign to me to imagine having to use public transportation on a daily basis, with so many people closed in such confined spaces for daily travel. Just has never been part of my reality. 


@mominohio, thanks for your reply.

 

I refuse to give in to such thoughts. I have one life to live, and I will live it going to movies, etc.


~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland