@Winter Holiday wrote:
@151949 wrote:
@Winter Holiday Do you consider it "treating someone like garbage under your feet" for a person to not want to have to drive way out of their way to pick you up and then bring you back home? This is a great inconvenience ! I used to drive someone to work every day we were on the same shift - she lived on a very steep hill, which was dangerous for me in the sleet & snow, she was also never ready and I would be late for work waiting for her. She never bought me any gas despite that I went several miles out of my way to get her, nor did she ever pay for parking despite that if she had been on time we could have parked in the free lot , but because she was late I had to park right at the hospital and pay. However, I felt sorry for her having to walk a couple miles to work if I didn't pick her up.
If you take it upon yourself to help someone without a car on a regular basis and they never say thank you, are never on time to be picked up or ready to go, or never offer gas money it is understandable to be unhappy.
I feel this needing rides all the time idea about people who don't have cars is exaggerated. I think most are independent and do as much as they can on their own like my husband and myself do. We walk and take transit and take a cab if its an extreme emergency.
I also think most people don't like asking people for help and most don't because of pride when they might really need it. I hate asking anyone for anything that resembles the notion of ASKING for help as I want people to freely help and to never have them tell me how they helped me and what I OWE them.
The problem I have is the issue with helping AT ALL. For example I don't see it unreasonable for a family member to say take me to Hobby Lobby once a year as there are none in city limits and are so far out even suburban transit can make it there. That is an example. If a family member lives near there why should it be so hard for them to do that for me? Once a year? I mean really that's selfish to say screw you I can do something nice for you and have the means to but I won't. I can't wrap my head around that.
The worse part is people outright not inviting people to things because of no car. No meeting halfway compromise or helping to pay for gas or two different people doing the pick up and drop off. A lot of this happens for events a few times a year anyway. That's a hell of a thing to tell family members and friends that basically you only want to be around them if its convenient for you or you are getting something out of it. Its selfish. To not even want to hang out with someone because of not having a car and treating them like poor garbage isn't right and that is pretty much what a few comments on here have said.
If you love people you love them no matter what their circumstances or choices are. I would never tell anyone they are an inconvenience to me or basically act like I'm better than them. People have this crazy idea that the amount of material goods and money in their bank account makes them better than others but it doesn't . What matters is how you treat people in your lifetime.
@Winter Holiday
I hear what you are saying, and agree with pretty much all of it.
What I will say, is that when you are the one being 'put upon' if you will, to pick up people (even if it is only a few times a year for special events) it can be an inconvenience or a hardship, or even frightening or stressful.
I know that if I lived outside a very large city, and had family that asked me to do what you have asked, one issue I would have is hating to drive in major cities. Not just hating it, but actually having a pretty strong aversion to it. Causes me stress and if the city is big enough, actual fear of being on the congested roads in unfamiliar territory.
Very few people I know, know this about me. They may ask me to pick them up at a major metropolitan airport and it is something I'd really rather not do, not because I don't love or care about them, but because I don't like driving in those situations.
So maybe it isn't about people not caring or not being willing to do something nice, but maybe they have a fear or a dislike of city driving that you aren't even aware of. Just trying to point out that sometimes, things are not what they seem, and people's reasons for what they do or don't do, isn't always what we think.
Blogs & Forums
