Reply
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,087
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

People Who Won't Take No For An Answer.

The county I grew up in went green in respect to the Covid restrictions.  A group of classmates I get together now and then with want to have a party next weekend.

 

I got an email from one who wanted to know of I was attending because her "baby brother" was going to be there. He is available.  Another friend called and warned me she has been trying to set him up with various women.

 

Their Dad died when they were young and that's terrible, but their Mother, my classmate and her 2 older sisters told this guy his whole life he was the smartest, nicest, most handsome thing ever. It was never Jeff, or my brother, it was baby brother. Oy.

 

I emailed her that I wasn't sure I was going (may be too soon for a crowd for me)  and fair warning, if I do, I'm not looking for dating material.

 

I've got 2 emails asking "but why" wasn't I dating or looking to.  I don't feel I need to explain.  I can't say what I want without hurting her feelings. First, he is not a baby brother,  he is your only brother. Stop it already. He is 66 freakin years old.  I have met him.  He is arrogant, conceited, and thinks he is God's gift to the world. He was told that his whole life and he believes it.

 

He's divorced 2x, 2 failed engagements and was shacked up with a woman until she bounced him out 4 months ago.  If I wanted to date, and I don't, he is a headache I don't need or want.

 

Why can't no, or I'm not interested, just be enough for some people.

 

I love this group of women. They are a lot of fun and we have known each other for over 50 years, but I don't want to dodge her and Prince Charming (in his sister's eyes) all night. There is me and another single person in the group. Everyone else is either still married or have a significant other.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,648
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: People Who Won't Take No For An Answer.

That sort of thing bothers (angers in some cases!) me, too.   I take it as a lack of basic common courtesy and manners.  If somebody tells me 'no', then it's no and I move on.  I could never imagine bagging on somebody, trying to get them to change their mind.  But that's just me.  Smiley Happy

 

I've had situations where I said 'no' and the person kept on and on and on and it's exasperating.  I said no.  No means no.  Move along.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,897
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

Re: People Who Won't Take No For An Answer.

[ Edited ]

I wouldn't go if I thought good old Prince Charming would be eyeing my up the entire time. And, why is he even going to be there? Sounds weird to me. The guy needs to get a life minus his sister's involvement. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,407
Registered: ‎07-07-2010

Re: People Who Won't Take No For An Answer.

@CrazyKittyLvr2  I would say to her that you understand her concern for you but that you, and only you, will determine when and/or if you are ready to date and that you would be quite capable of finding someone yourself and to please do not  bring it up again (sorry for the run-on sentence!).  Of course, she could find the perfect person who was not her brother.  I would also go to the party, even if he is going to be there.  That would be the perfect time for him to be told what his sister is doing.  I would also find out if he knew about it.  If so, this is the time to explain that you are not interested.  Sometimes you need to be very firm, even if it is out of character for you, and maybe even not very nice.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,669
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: People Who Won't Take No For An Answer.

I would stop replying to her emails. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 70,116
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: People Who Won't Take No For An Answer.

If people won't take no for an answer, sometimes you have to be blunt with them even if you do hurt their feelings.  There must be some hesitancy in your response which encourages her.  Be more firm. 

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,087
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: People Who Won't Take No For An Answer.

@RetRN  Why is he going to be there is what I asked another friend.

 

It seems when his last woman dumped him they lived in her house in another town 40 or 50 miles from my hometown.

 

Of course sis took him in and then we all got stay at home orders.

 

She does need her own life but she, and the rest of the family, have coddled him his whole life.

 

I'm not worried about him as much as her.  I doubt he would go for a nearly 70 yr. old somewhat overweight woman.  Besides, I don't coddle, he would be sorely disappointed.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,087
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: People Who Won't Take No For An Answer.

@SXMGirl  Oh, he knows what sis is doing.  I was told he asks her if she knows any single women and can she introduce him.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,827
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: People Who Won't Take No For An Answer.

@CrazyKittyLvr2  You are so right about some people not being able to take 'no' for an answer! People, often times mean well, but that doesn't make up for the 'how many times can I say no'. Especially, trying to push someone on you. 

 

From what you've said, the party already sounds like a bad idea. If it were me, I would feign a migraine. Done. Personally, I would not be able to enjoy the party for worry that someone (or he, himself) will try to force him in my direction during the entire day. Do you need or want that?  JMO !!! 

You could always arrange to meet for lunch with just your friends on another day.  ?? 

F/N/A luvstogarden
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,036
Registered: ‎07-25-2010

Re: People Who Won't Take No For An Answer.

Someone with two failed marriages, a recent breakup of a live-in relationship, who is constantly referred to as "Baby Brother" would be a definite "No Interest" for me, too!

That being said, if this group are your good friends I would go and enjoy myself.  If he approaches you with an invitation, simply say "No thanks" and move over by someone else.  If these women are good friends, there should be no pressure.