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Super Contributor
Posts: 371
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: People Who Don't Say Thank You


@ladyroxanne wrote:

i'm on the board of a women's club here where i live, so i get quite a few emails from our membership who are my peers.  i'm really surprised and shocked sometimes how they want something from me and don't even have the courtesy to say please or thank you.  most of our membership is not like this, so when this occurs, these women stick out in my mind. i have to bite my tongue to not say something!


Likewise, when people use courtesy and good manners, it sets them head and shoulders above the norm, and TPTB will notice and select them accordingly for the better opportunities in life.  Gratitude is an easy habit and costs nothing.   Gratitude feels good to the initiator, too!  

“There are two ways to be rich: One is by acquiring much, and the other is by desiring little.” —Jackie French Koller
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,746
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: People Who Don't Say Thank You

[ Edited ]

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

@proudlyfromNJ wrote:

Who raised this "new generation of kids with no manners" ? Aren't they your kids and grandkids? Sounds like it's everyone else's children except the people on this board.


@proudlyfromNJ

 

LOL .... I was thinking the same thing.  Woman LOL

 

Obviously there has been a serious breakdown in teaching manners to the next generation.  If the grandkids (and those of that age) aren't being raised properly when it comes to manners, whose fault is that?


I have yet to meet a child that behaves exactly the same way at home as the do outside the home, myself included when I was growing up.

 

How often do we hear the parents of a child's friend remark how polite and helpful the child was during a sleepover, automatically clearing the dinner table, picking up clothes, making the bed, etc. while at home that same child needs to be reminded. 

 

The opposite is also true.  The "perfect" child at home becomes one that makes you shake your head and ask where the parents are when out and about on their own.

 

Some children grow out of such behaviors others do not and may even become worse as adults (at the same time often expecting 24/7 perfection from their kids).

The eyes through which you see others may be the same as how they see you.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,179
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: People Who Don't Say Thank You


@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

@reiki604 wrote:

Life is too precious and short to waste time, thought or energy on such minutiae. The way other people behave is on them. I can only control my behavior and reactions.


 

 

 

 

Yes!

 

It's not even a blip on my radar if someone doesn't say, "Please", or "thank-you", or if they say, "No problem".

 

Why waste energy getting upset.

 

It isn't going to affect them any. You (general meaning) are only going to make yourself upset, and what good does that do anybody?

 

 


 

I say no problem.  I dont understand why  this is an issue?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,143
Registered: ‎04-18-2012

Re: People Who Don't Say Thank You


@TeezNu wrote:

@jaxs mom wrote:

I don't even notice. I don't keep a score card nor do I do nice things for people expecting anything in return. I prefer genuine responses to ones made out of habit or obligation. I think way too many people spend their time just looking for something to complain about. And yes I do live in an area where manners matter and I say thank you often. But it doesn't bother me if other people don't thank me. 

 

I can agree with you, to a certain extent.  When I don't get a sincere "thank you", they are telling me not to waste any of my future efforts on them,

 

When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.


I tend to notice petty and overly critical much more than not saying thank you. 

Don't Change Your Authenticity for Approval
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,143
Registered: ‎04-18-2012

Re: People Who Don't Say Thank You


@missy1 wrote:

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

@reiki604 wrote:

Life is too precious and short to waste time, thought or energy on such minutiae. The way other people behave is on them. I can only control my behavior and reactions.


 

 

 

 

Yes!

 

It's not even a blip on my radar if someone doesn't say, "Please", or "thank-you", or if they say, "No problem".

 

Why waste energy getting upset.

 

It isn't going to affect them any. You (general meaning) are only going to make yourself upset, and what good does that do anybody?

 

 


 

I say no problem.  I dont understand why  this is an issue?


I do say that also, sometimes. When I do it's generally because I'm indicating a thank you really wasn't needed in this situation. 

Don't Change Your Authenticity for Approval
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,143
Registered: ‎04-18-2012

Re: People Who Don't Say Thank You

For some reason this thread reminds me of bar etiquette. Someone buys you a drink, now you're expected to buy them a drink. I'd rather just pay for my own stuff and not have to play the game of who owes what and deal with the people keeping score. If I give you something or do something for you it's because I wanted to and I don't need anything in return.

Don't Change Your Authenticity for Approval
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: People Who Don't Say Thank You


@jaxs mom wrote:

For some reason this thread reminds me of bar etiquette. Someone buys you a drink, now you're expected to buy them a drink. I'd rather just pay for my own stuff and not have to play the game of who owes what and deal with the people keeping score. If I give you something or do something for you it's because I wanted to and I don't need anything in return.


 

 

When I do something that *I* would thank someone for, because I would be grateful, while I don't expect a groveling thank you, if I don't get even a casual "thanks" or some other expression of gratitude ("I really appreciate it", "I love it"), I feel as if the person doesn't value either me or the deed, gift or whatever, and I'm hurt.

 

For me it has almost nothing to do with etiquette, and everything to do with feeling dismissed as if I don't matter, or slapped in the face. How the thank you comes is immaterial to me. An email or a phone call or a face-to-face is just as valid as a formal written thank-you card.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,931
Registered: ‎01-09-2011

Re: People Who Don't Say Thank You

I say Please, Thank-you, Excuse me, You're Welcome and I still write Thank You notes.

 

It's the way I was raised.

"Cats are poetry in motion. Dogs are gibberish in neutral." -Garfield
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,648
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: People Who Don't Say Thank You

Wow, I'm surprised that some have such disdain for not only manners, but for those for whom manners matter.

 

I don't think anybody gets suicidal when somebody doesn't say 'thank you'.  It's just the fact that it speaks poorly of that person and it's disappointing.

 

I don't do anything for anbody to get a 'thank you'.   Not even close.   Probably most people don't.     Same goes for 'please'.   Sometimes I've seen people asking something of others, whether it's help in the store or just anything, and they can't even be bothered to be polite about it and say please?    That just makes me feel bad for them.

 

I've been in restaurants where I've heard people (this is usually men, more often than not) greet the server by saying 'GIMME the ...'.   Really?  How about 'I'd like the ... please'.  server - 'will that be all?' customer - 'yes, thank you'.    What's so foreign about that?

 

Again, it's not the biggest problem in the world.  This is just a conversation about this particular subject.  I don't think that the OP, and others, deserve the disdain of some just because they were brought up to have manners and express their disappointment that manners seem to be going by the way.   k?  Smiley Happy

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,597
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: People Who Don't Say Thank You

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