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Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,165
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

I don't mind last minute calls --IF the person calling is someone I want to spend time with.

Once I read through OP's post, I was wondering why she'd want to give up a precious day of relaxation with that particular woman even if she'd called a week early. She doesn't answer emails, she doesn't call to chat ever, what's the point?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,906
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

I don't think I'd be particularly interested in meeting ""someone I don't know very well's"" kids.

(Nor would I change my plans-- or lack thereof--for a last-minute invitation.)

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 3,874
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

Of course you have the right to say no! Just politely say you have other plans and decline the invitation. Nothing wrong with her calling to invite you, but when you call without advance notice, you must accept that the person you're calling may already have other plans. And leaving six messages in 90 minutes was more than a little excessive. I wouldn't worry about it. You didn't want to go, so you didn't. Perfectly fine.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

Anyone else suffer the reverse of this? I used to have two "friends" who would make plans to do something 1-3 weeks in advance, then wait until the morning of the day, so I couldn't really make other plans to have a pleasant day myself, to cancel. It got to be so often that it was patently obvious that (1) they had a better offer, or (2) just didn't want to go (with me). I used to wonder why they suggested the outing in the first place. I ended up believing that they did it for the express purpose of doing the last minute cancellation - and I learned much later that was pretty much the truth.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,766
Registered: ‎03-21-2010

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

On 12/29/2014 Danky said: You seem to have a history (and present) of people so desperate for your companionship that they are constantly, obsessively calling your home......whether it be a neighbor or an acquaintance . You must be great company.

I'm not sure about "great" company. You read my post in Among Friends recently. That was a different situation. My neighbor lady calls me all the time because I help her and have been there for her when her own kids fail to be. She now is expecting me to take care of her since her own kids are never there for her. It's because I was caring and she is now taking advantage of me.

This situation with the last minute invite is different. I find the behavior odd. I find someone who is so desperate to get together after all this time might have some ulterior motive. Who knows. This is someone who hasn't answered an e-mail in 2 months, who only gives me her work e-mail, so it's hard to communicate with her most of the time, and never calls me to chat. I do not know her that well. I find the continuous calls bordering on obnoxious and irritating. People with any sense would leave one or maybe 2 messages and if they didn't hear back figure the person is not home or unavailable. Why the constant barrage of calls all day? She's in town visiting her elderly father, yet she's spending time trying to track me down all day. I appreciate the invite, but enough already! I wasn't home. And then the calls where she just hangs up without leaving a message were just plain annoying and a waste of her time, if I'm not there, I'm not there!

If she doesn't want to call again, that's her choice. But, if she bases not calling me again on not being able to go out or even not being home to answer her calls, that's even more odd. I own a Tracfone that I only use for emergencies and never give out that number. She was calling non-stop on my land line. When I got home and found all those caller ID messages, it was very strange.

I appreciate everyone's response and opinions.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,019
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

I guess it just depends on who it is, and how comfortable of a relationship you have with them.

If I really had nothing pressing to do, and I liked spending time with this person, I jump at it. A totally planned and calendared life is boring, and one misses out on the fun of spontaneity.

If that person tends to be like that a lot, and I get tired of being disrupted to meet their needs, I probably wouldn't go, and I'd not feel guilty about it either.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,648
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

I think it's a personal choice, so I wouldn't begrudge anybody else a different POV, but I would not be thrilled either. I would most likely pass unless there was some major reason that would cause me to want to disrupt my ALREADY plan to take it easy for the day.

My first thought was 'why couldn't she have called me a week ago to tell me she was going to be in town next Sunday, etc, and could we get together?'. Now THAT would be polite.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 41,167
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

it would not bother me at all. if i am available and WANT to go then i get myself together and go.....or make the time.

if i am NOT available and/or dont want to go then i decline the invitation.

i prefer my schedule to be flexible rather than rigid (there are enough rigid parts of our everyday lives already).....and it works well for me.

********************************************
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein
Valued Contributor
Posts: 996
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

Couple of weeks ago a friend called and said she and hubby were on their way into the city to visit the museum and then go to dinner. I said I would meet them for dinner but pass on the museum. Then I thought, why not and jumped in the shower and got ready in record time. Spent the whole day with them at the musem and was very glad I did as we had a great time.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,112
Registered: ‎12-08-2014

Re: People Who Call at Last Minute to Invite You Out

On 12/29/2014 naturalfan said:

Couple of weeks ago a friend called and said she and hubby were on their way into the city to visit the museum and then go to dinner. I said I would meet them for dinner but pass on the museum. Then I thought, why not and jumped in the shower and got ready in record time. Spent the whole day with them at the musem and was very glad I did as we had a great time.


....the difference is you wanted to go.