Community Chat

[Black Cat Back]

Maybe I'm just set in my ways, but I don't like spur of the moment invitations. I like to make plans and know ahead of time what my day is going to be like. I am flexible if someone I know real well wants to do something at the last minute, because I can be myself with them and don't have to dress up or do my make-up, etc.

But, today, someone I don't know very well called and said she was in town and wanted to get together. This was at 11am. Sunday is my day to lounge around, no make-up, hair in ponytail, football, reading... just a low pressure day. I was out for a walk when she called and she left me at least 6 messages in that 90 min span. She wanted me to meet her kids.

Is it just me, or do others not like spur of the moment invitations that put you on the spot sometimes? I appreciate the invite, don't get me wrong, but if someone knew they were coming to town today, maybe they could have called me yesterday to make plans instead of last minute. I declined and said I was busy. I don't like to rush around and change my whole day just to be nice.

I think I've earned the right to say no at 53.

[anon]

No it's not just you. I have to gear myself up to go out so I prefer to know in advance at least a few days.

[NoelSeven]

By all means, say no, and don't worry about it. It's not a big deal to say you can't make it or you have other plans.

[Goldengate8361]

It's always ok to say no.

[Black Cat Back]

Good to know I wasn't being too selfish. But, it's just common courtesy to tell someone you'll be in town or want to get together in advance. Plus, this particular woman rarely answers my e-mails if I write her. Yet, all of a sudden she's in town to visit family and I should be at the ready to go out when she calls. I just couldn't believe she kept calling my home and leaving me messages. She left 6 messages, two with voice mails, the other 4 she just called and hung up I guess.

Like you, I like to know my plans and plan my week or a few days accordingly.

[Catitude]

Sometimes it's good to be flexible and spontaneous. You could be missing out on a lot of fun.

[anon]

She is the selfish one imo.

[bikerbabe]

I do things on the spur of the moment all the time with my BFF or DH. Some of my best memories.

[Black Cat Back]

I appreciate the invitation, but I don't know this woman all that well. It's one thing if it's your BFF or DH, but when it's someone you only met once and e-mail a few times, it's not like someone you know extremely well and can rearrange your plans for. I also might be missing out on the needed rest and relaxation I need before facing a new week of stress.

[chrystaltree]

Excluding my sister, I can't recall ever receiving a last minute invitation like that. People just don't do things like that, people with good manners anyway. It would not have bothered me at all; I would've told the truth and politely declined. I would have said something like.... .I'm sorry, I can't meet you today on such short notice. Perhaps we can make plans to do something together another time.