Community Chat

[lovesrecess]

my youngest DD went to a party where the "in crowd" was when she was in jr high.....the parents were active in her school and the mom president of the PTA...the whole nine yards.....DD called me to come pick her up because they had a keg set up in the den for the jr high kids! I checked around and found out they do this every weekend...we were new to the area.....the mom's reasoning is "I am being a responsible, cool parent because they are being supervised and not out getting alcohol and riding in a car with someone. I couldn't believe the "logic". Needless to say, DD chose a different crowd....

[CrazyKittyLvr2]

@sidsmom The Mother used to talk about this girl, she lived about 30 mikes away and she often stayed at their house for the weekend with the family, For the love of Pete, what's strange about it.

[Marp]

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@sidsmom wrote:

I’m more concerned with the 19yr old who ‘had a friend overnight’.

Sounds odd.

And yes, many states allow underage drinking on private property

with parental consent. Somehow ‘underage’ like..17yrs old is a 

much different ‘underage’ like 19yrs old.   Believe me, if they were

in college, living in an apartment or dorm, there would most likely

be drinking involved. It’s just a rite of passage of a young adult.  

Been there, done that. 

And it’s holiday season...many different cultures allow wine

for celebration for all the children...ie underage drinking.

Again, I’m kinda giving a ‘raised eyebrow’ with the age thing.

At 19, you don’t have ‘sleep overs’ like a junior high kid.

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Why odd and odd in what way?  Why raised eyebrows?

Maybe I shouldn't ask.  I'm 71 and have friends that sometimes sleep over.  Oh dear, maybe my entire family is odd since we don't put age limits on friends sleeping over.  No more Netflix binges for us.

[Bri369]

I find it really strange that the mom won't let the girls go anywhere without her.  

At some point, they're going to need to seperate.

[NicksmomESQ]

  I was always close to my son.He confides in me even now that he’s an adult.But I’ve always made it clear that I am his mother first & foremost.He needs a mother not another friend.

 I don’t judge him but I do tell him what I think.He knows that I will always tell him the truth.Home will always be his soft place to fall.

 It’s one thing to be close to your teenager.It’s another thing to be their friend.When they grow up the dynamic changes a bit.I found that I got even closer to my son.He appreciated my strength & guidance as well as the space I’ve always given him.We enjoy eachothers company.But we are not friends.I’m a proud mother of wonderful young man who is in the process of carving out his place in the world. As it should be.

[sidsmom]

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@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:

@sidsmom The Mother used to talk about this girl, she lived about 30 mikes away and she often stayed at their house for the weekend with the family, For the love of Pete, what's strange about it.

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Your original post painted the picture....I was just responding to the comments of:

-To say they are close is an understatement.

-She told me once they can't be apart. Literally.

-Since birth she didn't want those girls to go anywhere

without her even with Grandparents or other family members.

-The youngest one is terrified to be away from Mom

outside of school just in case something bad happens

while she was away. 

If a young Adult behaves this way, greater than zero chance her

friends will behave that way, as well. Her daughter sounds socially immature.  The ‘overnight’ stay feeds into the junior-high mentality.

And the alcohol, per se, is not the issue.  

It’s the behavior that’s the issue.

[lovesrecess]

affordable DUI? one will pay for a DUI in more ways than they can know

[CrazyKittyLvr2]

When I was working I had a"discussion" with one of our associates. I saw name of one of locals in the paper for his 3rd DUI. I said well I see John hasn't learned. Associate wasn't his attorney but I said  by his attorney getting him the least possible punishment it's not helping John plus he's putting the guy back on the road with my family members and the associates.  The mentally was boys will be boys. bull pucky he was married and had 3 kids. Yeah, that works, later his oldest son spent time in jail for drunk driving.

[CrazyKittyLvr2]

@Bri369 You have no idea, it was the weirdest thing I ever saw. Outside of work and school if you saw one you saw all 3. Mom was not a helicopter she was a freakin 

Black Hawk. No idea why. Grandparents lived across the street, very nice people. Those kids never stayed overnight with them.I felt sorry for the younger girl as it seemed to affect her more. When Mom made the being apart comment to me my response was "There's a reason they cut that cord in the delivery room, it's the first step in not being physically tethered to me. It's my job to raise kids that can function when I'm not here."

[scatcat]

I bet you $100 she has zero relationship with her husband and leans on her kids for all her needs. 

Is the 19 year old in college - like far far away? Because she should be