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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,077
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Parents & Teenagers Being Friends

My DH and I are close to our kids.  They are both in their 40's now and like hanging around us. DD and I like shopping together or going for lunch and the movies.  We have fun, but I'm still Mom. A friend just told me about a woman who worked near us.  Jane has a 16  yr. old and a 19 yr. old. To say they are close is an understatement. She told me once they can't be apart. Literally. Since birth she didn't want those girls to go anywhere without her even with Grandparents or other family members. The youngest one is terrified to be away from Mom outside of school just in case something bad happens while she was away.  Sorry, I digress.  The 19 yr. had a friend overnight and Mom let them drink including another person's child.She reasoned that hey they weren't leaving the house. What if the friend got drunk and fell down the steps, passed out and choked,  who knows what. If she had to call an ambulance the EMT's would know she was drunk and Jane would be up the proverbal creek. People!!! I guess if you want to be the cool Mom and buddy  and supply your underage kid with booze that's your business, don't give it too some else's kid. Someone needs to be the parent.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,917
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Parents & Teenagers Being Friends

Hopefully she didn’t give them much...that is illegal.Other countries have younger drinking ages..Canada is 19.I just have to agree that the mom should not make a decision for someone else’s child.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,846
Registered: ‎04-23-2010

Re: Parents & Teenagers Being Friends


@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:

My DH and I are close to our kids.  They are both in their 40's now and like hanging around us. DD and I like shopping together or going for lunch and the movies.  We have fun, but I'm still Mom. A friend just told me about a woman who worked near us.  Jane has a 16  yr. old and a 19 yr. old. To say they are close is an understatement. She told me once they can't be apart. Literally. Since birth she didn't want those girls to go anywhere without her even with Grandparents or other family members. The youngest one is terrified to be away from Mom outside of school just in case something bad happens while she was away.  Sorry, I digress.  The 19 yr. had a friend overnight and Mom let them drink including another person's child.She reasoned that hey they weren't leaving the house. What if the friend got drunk and fell down the steps, passed out and choked,  who knows what. If she had to call an ambulance the EMT's would know she was drunk and Jane would be up the proverbal creek. People!!! I guess if you want to be the cool Mom and buddy  and supply your underage kid with booze that's your business, don't give it too some else's kid. Someone needs to be the parent.

 

Has your friend witnessed all that she is gossiping about??

“The soul is healed by being with children.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,077
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: Parents & Teenagers Being Friends

@mom2four0418  Not gossip. The Mom actually told the story to my friend. She thought nothing of it.  Just one of the friends having fun. Refers to the daughter's friend as her 3rd daughter.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,580
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Parents & Teenagers Being Friends

You never know what is going to happen.  Without the other parents' permission, I would never give an underage child alcohol. 

 

A number of years ago, a woman's son had a party at their house.  The mother was home and allowed her son and the other party goers to drink.  One of the kids walked away from the house and ended up on railroad tracks where he was run over by a train and killed.  The mom was sued and brought up on charges.  I cannot imagine living with myself if something like that happened.    

Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,294
Registered: ‎11-03-2018

Re: Parents & Teenagers Being Friends

I would never allow anyone underage drinking in my home.  My kids pleaded to have dance after-parties.  I never allowed it.  I knew there was going to be alcohol there.  

 

It's just a bad idea...

 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 34,519
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Parents & Teenagers Being Friends

@CrazyKittyLvr2

 

This is a “no” from me.

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~
Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,017
Registered: ‎06-09-2014

Re: Parents & Teenagers Being Friends

Wow, my family gave us alcohol underage but never non-family members.  The mom can be busted and put in jail for that.  I hope it's worth it. 

 

And as for the rest, this is a perfect example of not preparing your kids for life on their own and the real world.  I feel sorry for children who have to run into people like me and a lot of others who either won't tolerate their spoiled nature or have to fire them for not showing up for work because they can't get up without Mommy shaking them awake and making them pancakes first.    

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,415
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: Parents & Teenagers Being Friends

I’m more concerned with the 19yr old who ‘had a friend overnight’.

Sounds odd.

 

And yes, many states allow underage drinking on private property

with parental consent. Somehow ‘underage’ like..17yrs old is a 

much different ‘underage’ like 19yrs old.   Believe me, if they were

in college, living in an apartment or dorm, there would most likely

be drinking involved. It’s just a rite of passage of a young adult.  

Been there, done that. 

 

And it’s holiday season...many different cultures allow wine

for celebration for all the children...ie underage drinking.

 

Again, I’m kinda giving a ‘raised eyebrow’ with the age thing.

At 19, you don’t have ‘sleep overs’ like a junior high kid.

 

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,077
Registered: ‎05-11-2013

Re: Parents & Teenagers Being Friends

My Daughter never was never interested in drinking still isn't. Son knew better than to ask me to buy it. I wasn't stupid to think a teenage boy wouldn't try to drink somewhere.  I told my son that if he drank and got caught driving he would sit in jail. I would not bail him out and he would need a Public Defender I wasn't helping. I meant it and he knew it. A few years ago a law firm advertised Affordable DUI.  NO, don't make it affordable.