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10-30-2020 01:25 AM - edited 10-30-2020 01:32 AM
1. When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive. It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.
2. My husband's favorite place to stand is right in front of whatever cabinet I need.
3. Pretty sure my wife's memoir would be called, "Just Take The Extra Two Seconds And Put It In The Dishwasher."
4. I need to lose some weight. During a recent trip to visit my son and his family, I stopped off at a bakery to pick up dessert. After scanning the display case, I settled on a dozen pound-cake cupcakes. The clerk's pleasant response: "Is that for here or to go?"
5. Over dinner, I could sense something was bothering my mother, so I asked if anything was wrong. "Yes, she admitted. "What's all this I hear on the news about banning baking products?" I patted her hand reassuringly and said,
"That's vapping products."
6. The difference between dog people and cat people:
Dog people wish their dog were people. Cat people wish they were cats.
7. WHY GRANDMOTHER, WHAT A SHARP TONGUE YOU HAVE!
Sure, they look sweet, but some grandmas just
don't have a filter.
*My freshman year of college, my grandmother mailed me sugar cookies for my birthday but wrote in the card that she'd put jalapenos in them so that I would know she was thinking of me "but wouldn't gain weight."
*When my older sister told my family she was pregnant out of wedlock and not in a relationship, my grandma sighed, looked at me, and said, "We always thought it would be you."
*I had just met my boyfriend's family for the first time. As I was leaving, his grandma gave me a hug and said it was wonderful to meet me. I said, "Thank you. It's nice to know I have approval." To which she replied, "Oh, now, dear, just because we like you doesn't mean we approve.
Life In These Uniteds States
Reader's Digest
10-30-2020 05:07 AM
10-30-2020 06:57 AM
OMG number 2 is so true! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙏☕️❤️
10-30-2020 09:32 PM
*When my older sister told my family she was pregnant out of wedlock and not in a relationship, my grandma sighed, looked at me, and said, "We always thought it would be you."
*I had just met my boyfriend's family for the first time. As I was leaving, his grandma gave me a hug and said it was wonderful to meet me. I said, "Thank you. It's nice to know I have approval." To which she replied, "Oh, now, dear, just because we like you doesn't mean we approve.
This sounds so much like my grandmother.😂😂😂🤣🤣
She was an amazing woman, but had absolutely NO filter!😂😂
~~~All we need is LOVE💖
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