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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,116
Registered: ‎03-30-2014

Re: Opinion people this way!

When there is not an actual body involved, plans are much more flexible.  Which is not a bad thing.

 

Our family had two in the closet and the guy in charge up and died too.  Looks like it is going to a long wait now.

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Registered: ‎06-09-2014

Re: Opinion people this way!

@Spurt I was just laughing with my mother about it all.  I know she is desperate to "get it all over with." It's just such a bad day for anyone to go through and to be held up by second time around in-laws is just insane to us.  

 

I never married but I would hope if my husband's father died around my birthday, I would still be mature enough to support my husband and celebrate another day.  And to insist also that my 18 year old kid from a previous marriage trump the ceremony date as well...

 

I just stopped and said to my mom, "Am I being ignorant here or did you raise me to have some respect and inconvenience myself no matter what when our loved ones pass?"

 

I know I am her kid but I think that warmed her heart.  This side of the family still represents well.

 

 

 

Honored Contributor
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Re: Opinion people this way!

@Still Raining I am so sorry!  I couldn't even imagine trying to handle more than one.  Heart

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Re: Opinion people this way!

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your uncle. Sounds like it was a hard journey for everyone. Bless.

 

As to my opinion: Maybe they want to wait until they can safely have more people attend? Also, sometimes when people want to spread ashes somewhere special, they have to wait until they can go there. I think it's good to have patience with people right now. Especially when it comes to death. Almost everything is wonky and imperfect, including funerals. Just the way things are at the moment.

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Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Opinion people this way!

[ Edited ]

I'd say that now that cremation is so much more being used, there isn't a rush to get services and burial over ASAP. 

the other factor, is that families don't all live close by anymore, and we need more time to have everyone make travel arrangements. 

my husband died in early November, 2018.  Since the holidays were just about to happen, I had his celebration of life in late January, 2019.  This gave people time to get over the holidays, and plan to attend.  It worked out well.

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Re: Opinion people this way!

[ Edited ]

@Laura14 wrote:

@Spurt I was just laughing with my mother about it all.  I know she is desperate to "get it all over with." It's just such a bad day for anyone to go through and to be held up by second time around in-laws is just insane to us.  

 

I never married but I would hope if my husband's father died around my birthday, I would still be mature enough to support my husband and celebrate another day.  And to insist also that my 18 year old kid from a previous marriage trump the ceremony date as well...

 

I just stopped and said to my mom, "Am I being ignorant here or did you raise me to have some respect and inconvenience myself no matter what when our loved ones pass?"

 

I know I am her kid but I think that warmed her heart.  This side of the family still represents well.

 

 

 


@Laura14 

 

I think you are being very respectful and sensible regarding the situation especially for those close to the person that passed away like your mom...... 

 

Just like my friend's brother that had to fly out from another state to attend their father's funeral service, it was invconvenient for him to put a last minute plan together, that's just how some situations happen and you do it out of love and respect....But there will always be some that are self-centered and inconsiderate of others.....SMH!

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Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎04-28-2010

Re: Opinion people this way!

Sorry for your Uncle's unfortunate illness and passing.

 

I haven't read most of the other posts, so I'm just thinking that, often times, relatives prefer to distribute ashes in individual urns, instead of burial, etc.

 

Maybe your relatives aren't ready to think about what and when to do right now.

 

I'd 'wait and see'; give them three or so weeks; then, ask/mention it to them

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Esteemed Contributor
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Registered: ‎05-27-2015

Re: Opinion people this way!

@Laura14  My neighbor lost his elderly mother 2 months ago, and he is going to wait to have a funeral until it is safe to do so. I would imagine that might be this month since we are in the green phase here in PA.

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Registered: ‎06-09-2014

Re: Opinion people this way!

@Spurt Would it be inappropriate to play na, na, na, na, na, na, na, hey, hey, hey, goodbye to my cousins when we finally do have a service and it's all over?  I am about there.  🤣👋

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Re: Opinion people this way!

@PA Mom-mom I am so sorry for him but what a lovely thing to do for the family and her friends in that situation.  Heart  Emotionally that has to be a tough day to keep anticipating.