Opinion people this way! - Page 7

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

magicmoodz · ‎03-16-2010

I am very sorry for the passing of your uncle. May he R.I.P.

There are 21 days in a 3-week period. Since family is all local, choose a different day. Memorials/funerals can be held any day of the week.

Problem solved. Or would that be an inconvenience?

sunshine45 · ‎03-09-2010

@Laura14 wrote:
@sunshine45 Careful of what you don't know. We happen to be of a religion, my cousins have since left it, but saying goodbye in prayer after someone dies even if not church led is part of who I and especially my mom's generation is all about. She would like that respected if possible.

And please don't try and tell anyone they didn't do enough or love their loved one enough when they've just passed. I am sure you didn't mean to but that came across very rough. The neurological diseases are horrific in their dementia aspects and physical limitations. But for the grace of God...

@Laura14

i did not say that at all.....you misunderstood my post. i never said you or your mother didnt love him enough.

there is absolutely no reason why you or she cannot say your prayers in respect, even if it is not around his body or his family.

my own beliefs though are you spend as much time with the person and honor his life, when you can and as often as you can.....via phone, facetime, in person......it is much better than grieving at the end, when that time is gone.

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"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@magicmoodz That is exactly what she said to them today. She's here for three weeks. Pick a day.

@sunshine45 I know I did. It is just not how a traditional Italian family does things apart like that especially in death. It's just a sign of respect in our tradition.

My mom drove six hours from her home every month to visit her brother and facetimed him once a week which is as often as the nursing home would allow. That is tough to do for a nonverbal man with hallucinations but she talked to him for thirty minutes every time.

And what she went through to give him a final Christmas at home with the family last year was awe inspiring and also fairly unappreciated by my cousins. We should all have a sister or someone like that in our final days on this earth.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@Laura14 wrote:
Okay, I guess I am not with it anymore. I would think that you would give the family and friends an opportunity to say goodbye relatively soon. Interesting...

I'm with you @Laura14.....If I were in charge the funeral would be with in 7-10 days. When a relative died we had to wait a week so a family member could travel to the area. Everyone was ok with that plan.

I have a friend who lost her husband last year during the hurricane in the south. She was to have a large gathering with family and friends this late spring, but it was cancelled due to the virus. She just wants to bury him...the kids want to wait until NEXT YEAR to have the service/celebration of life. That would be a big no for me.....thank goodness I'm not in charge. I'd take his ashes and do what I wanted to do at this point, but there are 5 kids, all with an opinion!

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@Laura14 I haven’t read everything here. You said there are no restrictions. Has anyone mentioned social distancing?

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Keepin' it real.

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

@Laura14 ...I am sorry you lost your dear uncle. As sad as it is when a loved one passes, there is comfort in knowing that person is now at peace, no more pain, no more suffering.

When my parents died they were cremated and each had a memorial service within a few weeks of their deaths. As many here have said, there are no fast rules anymore regarding funerals, memorials, etc. I am sorry your mother didn't have the opportunity to say farewell to her brother in the manner she expected. God bless both of you during this difficult time.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@esmerelda wrote:
@Laura14 I haven’t read everything here. You said there are no restrictions. Has anyone mentioned social distancing?

@esmerelda We can't even get them to finalize a date. And the way I feel about my cousins right now, they will be so distanced from me it's not even funny.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@Mom2Dogs wow, I might give each of the kids some ashes and let them have at it. The rest would be with me and my plans. I think younger people forget the older you are, the more history. That should mean something, I think.

@Lindsays Grandma You are always so kind.

esmerelda · ‎03-10-2010

@Laura14 wrote:
@esmerelda wrote:
@Laura14 I haven’t read everything here. You said there are no restrictions. Has anyone mentioned social distancing?
@esmerelda We can't even get them to finalize a date. And the way I feel about my cousins right now, they will be so distanced from me it's not even funny.

@Laura14 If social distancing is an issue, they may be waiting until it isn't...instead of finalizing a date, only to have to move it to another date because social dsitancing continues.

I"ve seen many obits that say a memorial service will be held later, and I think many of them will not happen at all.

Services like that (and funerals) are for the living, IMO. Also IMO, it's up to your cousins. They are his closest family. If planning and having a service is more than they think they can (or want to) do...for whatever reason...it should be respected.

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Keepin' it real.