Community Chat

[BeckiWV]

Well, I don't think it's the age of the man that matters. It's the man himself.

With some men, not all of course, just a look can make them think you are interested.

[issiestorm]

Not always following the same route is a very good idea. That even goes for driving a car. It's something the police always seem to be espousing.

[Jannabelle]

On 1/30/2015 Justina rae said:

On 1/30/2015 Marienkaefer2 said:

On 1/30/2015 Justina rae said:

OP you only have yourself to blame. I'm sorry but at your age you should know what to say even without hurting the man's feelings. The first time he handed you his phone number you only needed to say I'm sorry, I'm not available or My boyfriend wouldn't like that (if you wanted to joke about it). Do you have a male friend who can be seen with you in this man's neighborhood?

I don't think "blame" is the right word to use here. What about him? If someone is vague or turns you down once, isn't that enough of a signal? If we start getting into blaming the woman, I think we're headed down a dangerous path. Yes, she could have been stronger in her response, but he also could be a gentleman and back off. I don't see reason to blame the o/p for anything. She feels upset enough already over this.

You're probably right Marienkaefer that blame is too harsh a word but it was my frustration that a woman the OP's age doesn't yet know how to turn down unwanted advances from anyone. Perhaps I need to realize there are some woman who actually don't know how. Also I hear what you're saying about going down a dangerous path but this situation is not that. I was just blaming a person, not woman or man. If the roles had been reversed I would have blamed the man in this specific situation for not being direct.

Nevertheless the OP

1. Accepted the man's phone number (but then didn't call).

2. Chatted with him in the supermarket.

3. Only said she "was busy" when he asked her out.

If I were this man I would without a doubt think she was interested and I would keep pursuing her given the three points above. I would have no indication from her that she didn't want to have anything to do with me or was even disgusted or creeped out. The OP hasn't even given this man mixed signals. She has given him a definite signal that she might be available and interested. She needs to not say anything more than hi if she bumps into him again and if he's pushy then she needs to be direct. Not only that but given the fact she gave this man as much rein as she did I would next time say "I'm sorry if I gave you the impression I am available. I'm not."

I agree with your points, that is why I am not for calling the police,.....now if she makes It crystal clear to him that she does not want to be friends or anything else, and he continues, yes, then do more.........she said he sped off after she said no to dinner, maybe he got the message......and I do think the op was just trying to be nice,....not intentionally encouraging him.

[Joey Heatherton]

Hi Daring Greatly .........you are a youthful 40 and fit, and I'm sure you've been attracting men (and even women) for many years now...........like most attractive women, I bet you know quick and simple ways to signal when you are not interested..........I think with this older gent in question, you just got knocked for a loop cause it never occurred to you he might be interested in a date............stay vigilant but don't change your habits......this guy was deaf dumb and blind and thought a smile and pleasantry from you was a green light..........lacking in social grace is epidemic.......remember this for a next time with ANY age person you are not attracted to...........when asked for a date just smile and say "oh my husband wouldn't like that!".....be breezy but firm...........:-)

[BellaPaprika]

On 1/30/2015 Joey Heatherton said: Hi Daring Greatly .........you are a youthful 40 and fit, and I'm sure you've been attracting men (and even women) for many years now...........like most attractive women, I bet you know quick and simple ways to signal when you are not interested..........I think with this older gent in question, you just got knocked for a loop cause it never occurred to you he might be interested in a date............stay vigilant but don't change your habits......this guy was deaf dumb and blind and thought a smile and pleasantry from you was a green light..........lacking in social grace is epidemic.......remember this for a next time with ANY age person you are not attracted to...........when asked for a date just smile and say "oh my husband wouldn't like that!".....be breezy but firm...........:-)

Apparently the OP is not 40. Another poster mentioned that in another thread she refers to herself as 53. I took a look and saw one where she says she's in her 50's. She may very well have been flattered at first thinking the old man was just being friendly. But his advances clearly made her uncomfortable. Sometimes it doesn't pay to be kind. All those viagra/cialis ads have those old geezers dreaming of times long past.

[brewhaha]

Creeping along is the only way some of them can do it.

[Joey Heatherton]

Ha!........BlueCollarBabe, it's those side by side tubs stuck in the middle of nowhere!........:-)

[Stella Dallas]

Do something about it and stop faux complaining (i.e., bragging on) the internet.

ETA: Yes, I AM jealous and I have no life!

[issiestorm]

On 1/30/2015 BlueCollarBabe said:

On 1/30/2015 Joey Heatherton said: Hi Daring Greatly .........you are a youthful 40 and fit, and I'm sure you've been attracting men (and even women) for many years now...........like most attractive women, I bet you know quick and simple ways to signal when you are not interested..........I think with this older gent in question, you just got knocked for a loop cause it never occurred to you he might be interested in a date............stay vigilant but don't change your habits......this guy was deaf dumb and blind and thought a smile and pleasantry from you was a green light..........lacking in social grace is epidemic.......remember this for a next time with ANY age person you are not attracted to...........when asked for a date just smile and say "oh my husband wouldn't like that!".....be breezy but firm...........:-)

Apparently the OP is not 40. Another poster mentioned that in another thread she refers to herself as 53. I took a look and saw one where she says she's in her 50's. She may very well have been flattered at first thinking the old man was just being friendly. But his advances clearly made her uncomfortable. Sometimes it doesn't pay to be kind. All those viagra/cialis ads have those old geezers dreaming of times long past.

If this is true, then the title of the thread 'much younger women' is a bit of an exaggeration. I was a bit suspicious when I got to the OP's post within the thread where she claimed that she had been walking in that neighborhood for 'over 25 years'. So she would have been in her teens if she's now 40. Not saying that isn't possible of course . . . she might have grown up in the neighborhood and never moved out, still living in her family home. Who knows?

[sunala]

Older men. Me likey