Community Chat

[LilacTree]

On 1/30/2015 ROMARY 1 said:

I would change my routing and times, only because he could be driving and following her home. I recall the 48 Hours or Dateline episode re: a very highly placed Canadian Air Force General (I think), who was going around, at first taking items from women's homes in his neighborhood, and then going around in the middle of the night, r*ping some of them and/or others and fatally worse for one woman. They showed him previously standing next to Queen Elisabeth, etc. He was 'way up there' in the Air Force. He was very exact, conservative looking.

I saw that episode too Romary. I think if this keeps up, the OP should at least alert the local police.

[bikerbabe]

Instead of focusing your energy bashing the man because of his age, don't hint tell the man no thank you. I happen to be married to one of those older man that you think are so disgusting. He also happens to look 15 years younger than his age.

[foundinlv]

Daring Greatly.....when he saw you in the grocery store and loudly said, "I don't recognize you with clothes on," that was your cue to let him have it...I would have. From day one, you were just being kind by reciprocating hello but now is definitely time to put your fighting gloves on and don't allow that man to dominate you. Hopefully, he'll leave you alone after the car incident but if not, put him in his place and say it loudly for all to hear (and also in case he's hard of hearing).

[Justina rae]

On 1/30/2015 Marienkaefer2 said:

On 1/30/2015 Justina rae said:

OP you only have yourself to blame. I'm sorry but at your age you should know what to say even without hurting the man's feelings. The first time he handed you his phone number you only needed to say I'm sorry, I'm not available or My boyfriend wouldn't like that (if you wanted to joke about it). Do you have a male friend who can be seen with you in this man's neighborhood?

I don't think "blame" is the right word to use here. What about him? If someone is vague or turns you down once, isn't that enough of a signal? If we start getting into blaming the woman, I think we're headed down a dangerous path. Yes, she could have been stronger in her response, but he also could be a gentleman and back off. I don't see reason to blame the o/p for anything. She feels upset enough already over this.

You're probably right Marienkaefer that blame is too harsh a word but it was my frustration that a woman the OP's age doesn't yet know how to turn down unwanted advances from anyone. Perhaps I need to realize there are some woman who actually don't know how. Also I hear what you're saying about going down a dangerous path but this situation is not that. I was just blaming a person, not woman or man. If the roles had been reversed I would have blamed the man in this specific situation for not being direct.

Nevertheless the OP

1. Accepted the man's phone number (but then didn't call).

2. Chatted with him in the supermarket.

3. Only said she "was busy" when he asked her out.

If I were this man I would without a doubt think she was interested and I would keep pursuing her given the three points above. I would have no indication from her that she didn't want to have anything to do with me or was even disgusted or creeped out. The OP hasn't even given this man mixed signals. She has given him a definite signal that she might be available and interested. She needs to not say anything more than hi if she bumps into him again and if he's pushy then she needs to be direct. Not only that but given the fact she gave this man as much rein as she did I would next time say "I'm sorry if I gave you the impression I am available. I'm not."

[Say Nay]

On 1/30/2015 hckynut said: I am guilty as charged. When I was 21 years old my wife was barely10. What a creep I was/am for falling for such a young child.

Sorry?

[LilacTree]

On 1/30/2015 Smaug said:

On 1/30/2015 hckynut said: I am guilty as charged. When I was 21 years old my wife was barely10. What a creep I was/am for falling for such a young child.

Sorry?

Once adults, 11 years is no big thing whether the man or the woman is the older one. I spent most of my dating life with men eight to ten years younger than me. Not on purpose, it just happened. The oldest man I was ever with was 42 when I ended my ten-year relationship with him . . . as well as never dating again, not even once.

[Shorty2U]

I cant say anything about age. My husband (2nd husband) is 8 years younger than me. Age is JUST a number.

So in the case of this man (age doesn't come into play here for me), I would have either told him youre not interested or that you have someone in your life.

I honestly don't think hes dangerous because you've been running into him by coincidence, he isn't stalking/following you. So Id just tell him right out.

About walking different ways, no you shouldn't have to change your route, but if you are that uncomfortable I would change the route for a while or what about crossing to the other side of the street he lives on, so you wont run into him?

[dobiesrule]

Speaking of age, I ran across an older post by OP where she mentions her age as 53 so there must be a typo. Not that it matters, but hopefully the man has gotten the message that she isn't interested.

[Catitude]

On 1/30/2015 dobiesrule said: Speaking of age, I ran across an older post by OP where she mentions her age as 53 so there must be a typo. Not that it matters, but hopefully the man has gotten the message that she isn't interested.

[bikerbabe]

On 1/30/2015 Cattitude said:

On 1/30/2015 dobiesrule said: Speaking of age, I ran across an older post by OP where she mentions her age as 53 so there must be a typo. Not that it matters, but hopefully the man has gotten the message that she isn't interested.

Now that's funny.