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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Older Men Pursuing Much Younger Women

On 1/29/2015 Chalcedony said: Why not just say "Thank you. I'm flattered but not interested." Calling the police is a serious overreaction.

I agree!

He didn't do anything wrong. He was a bit flirty with you, that's all. And then he asked you to dinner. All you had to say was, "No, thank you" or "Sorry, I'm not interested".

He's not following you around, chasing you down dark alleys, or waiting on your doorstep. He's simply friendly when he sees you, and he thinks you're attractive so he asked you out. That's not a crime. And you would have no problem with it if you were interested in him. You're not, and that's fine. But I hardly see a reason to call the police or to over-react.

Men see attractive women and try to get to know them all the time. That's all he was doing. Lots of younger women like older men, so I'm sure he thought it was worth a shot.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 28,613
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: Older Men Pursuing Much Younger Women

Well, the title is misleading and puzzling. OP has a problem with ONE man who happens to be older and she criticizes and denigrates any and all older men who prefer younger women. The man is agressive, not because of his age. That's just who he is. OP inadvertently gave him the idea that she is interested because talks to him and initially was friendlier than she intended. He thinks shes playing coy because, for some odd reason, she never came right out and said that she wasn't interested in seeing him. The man does not have esp. She needs to put that hang up about old guys aside and treat him like any man. The next time he expresses an interest, a cold "I'm flattered, but I'm not available"....and don't smile and move on. If she'd responded appropriately, the first time, she wouldn't have this problem now. Good grief, she must be young or very inexperienced to think that 70 year old guys arent having secks......who does she think those Viagra commercials are targeting?
Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,360
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Older Men Pursuing Much Younger Women

Just like young women, old men are all different.

I'll go out on my usual limb and guess this stalker guy has been inappropriate and probably lonely his whole life. I bet if he were in school today, he would have some sort of "label."

Smart to stay away, not wave, etc. I just suspect you would have wanted to do that when this one was 42 also. Maybe even when he was 15. It's who he is, not his age.

Super Contributor
Posts: 283
Registered: ‎01-02-2015

Re: Older Men Pursuing Much Younger Women

OP you only have yourself to blame. I'm sorry but at your age you should know what to say even without hurting the man's feelings. The first time he handed you his phone number you only needed to say I'm sorry, I'm not available or My boyfriend wouldn't like that (if you wanted to joke about it). Do you have a male friend who can be seen with you in this man's neighborhood?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,179
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Older Men Pursuing Much Younger Women

It's very creepy. When I was young (also my friends), dating men much older would not occur to me/us. These older men who get the younger ladies are for short fun term, and like to show off their trophy. When the ladies get what they want, or wise up they move on.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,200
Registered: ‎06-06-2011

Re: Older Men Pursuing Much Younger Women

Just a thought: to say to someone "I'm busy" may be interpreted as "not now, ask me later". The first time the fellow said something you should have simply said "no" and kept walking. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea-Robert A. Heinlein
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,024
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Older Men Pursuing Much Younger Women

Maybe you need to be direct with him? I don't think his reaction has to do with age. Start with a polite "no, I'm not interested". No mixed messages. If he still doesn't understand, get rude.

_____ ,,,^ ._. ^,,,_____
Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,426
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Older Men Pursuing Much Younger Women

So instead of setting this guy straight from the get go you will now call the police on him?

Super Contributor
Posts: 1,050
Registered: ‎11-13-2014

Re: Older Men Pursuing Much Younger Women

It is never going to stop! Men always look for a young woman. Any woman over 45 is pretty much a crone and to men that is not attractive.... they do not want anything shriveled and wrinkled. Men want youth to make them feel young. Men always want ""IT"" and want it from a young woman. Men even when old and shriveled always look to the young girls. It is a brain ""man"" thing.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,339
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Older Men Pursuing Much Younger Women

On 1/30/2015 NYC Susan said:
On 1/29/2015 Chalcedony said: Why not just say "Thank you. I'm flattered but not interested." Calling the police is a serious overreaction.

I agree!

He didn't do anything wrong. He was a bit flirty with you, that's all. And then he asked you to dinner. All you had to say was, "No, thank you" or "Sorry, I'm not interested".

He's not following you around, chasing you down dark alleys, or waiting on your doorstep. He's simply friendly when he sees you, and he thinks you're attractive so he asked you out. That's not a crime. And you would have no problem with it if you were interested in him. You're not, and that's fine. But I hardly see a reason to call the police or to over-react.

Men see attractive women and try to get to know them all the time. That's all he was doing. Lots of younger women like older men, so I'm sure he thought it was worth a shot.

Well, he keeps pestering her, and the manner in which he's doing it is unsettling. He's approached her seversl times, once pulling up alongside her in his car while she's walking, and then speeding off. I can see where she would be rattled by it. But, I do agree that she needs to be firm, not only in this case, but in the future. We learn lessons in life, and then we learn to do better next time.
If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need.--Marcus Tullius Cicero