Community Chat

[mom2four0418]

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@CrazyKittyLvr2 wrote:

Heavens, my sister retired March 1st.  All she talked about from November when she told her employer, was "I can't wait til March 1st".  Her health is terrible, diabetes, congestive heart failure. her legs swelled horribly.  She couldn't work anymore, period.

Tonight she announced she shouldn't have retired. She hates being home, no adult conversation etc. Her DH's idea of retirement is sitting in front of the tv and conversation is "what's the weather".  Did she think he would suddenly become chatty Charlie?  Hello, have you met your husband, he's always been like that.

Every suggestion I made for volunteering was met with a reason why she couldn't.  Yikes!

Yes, she has limits due to health issues by there has to be something she can do.

I don't know what to tell her. Ok, I feel better after venting.

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The difference now is that she is spending all of her time with him. 

[PinkyPetunia]

@CrazyKittyLvr2   Your sister doesn't expect you to solve her problems.  She wants someone she can tell her problems to.  You don't have to give advice or suggestions, just listen and nod, smile, make some comforting sounds.

[RoughDraft]

Teach her how to post here.

[Sooner]

I wish people would stop harping at retired people about needing to "DO" something!

I "did something" all day every day and sometimes nights and weekends for 40 years.  I don't need anything to do now thank you very much I am happy as a clam!  

I am now able to sleep late if I want, not get really dressed up and fly out the door into the traffic.  I can watch tv, read my e-mail and get my day started when I like. I can decide when and if I want to eat lunch and what and where I want to eat!

I can read a magazine or a book.  Go to the mailbox, open a package, watch the birds, sit in the hot tub, ignore the phone and the e-mail, go for a walk or take a shower at 11a.m.

I can pick up the dry cleaning in the day and go to the grocery store or post office when they are not busy (all the old people and the working people hit the post office from 12 to 1--I never understood why all the old people but me HAVE to go at lunchtime then complain about the line!).

I'm having a great time, and don't tell me I need a hobby or need something to do.  If anyone is bored it's their own fault!  

[GenXmuse]

I don’t think you need to tell her anything. If she wants to find something to do she will. It’s no one’s job to entertain her. 

[Suziepeach]

When I stopped working in 97 and might, just might have a moment of boredom- I am so happy to be at home doing just that..  my husband works from home and we have the ability to travel pretty much when we want, ignore each other when we want and be happier than two pigs in mud when we want too...    

Oh did I say how much I love love love not working after all those years on my poor feet and never stopping usage of my hands and brain?  Lord love me to do nothing is bliss!!

Your sister will have to come into her own by being home- nothing anyone can do about it but her and what might make her happy.. 

[haddon9]

If she does absolutely nothing all day long with no one to talk to except a spouse that has nothing to say than I can understand why she's bored.  Volunteering may make many feel good but it's not really for everyone.

Sound like she needs to find a passion about something....but that's for her to figure out.

[aroc3435]

@Sooner Yes, I know.  People can harp on "doing" too much  with retirees.  I think it depends on the retired individual's personality.  I don't need to be "doing" something planned every minute.  I don't miss work and being micromanaged by some boss.  I love retirement--this past June marked two years.  I can vary my schedule and errands as I wish to.  So far my brain still works well and my physical health is still pretty good.

This morning in DC we had a torrential rain and a flood emergency--three inches fell in an hour--during the commuter rush hour.  So happy to not have to have to go out in it, as I would have had to if I was still working, so I could take the calls from everyone else to say they would not be coming in to the office due to the weather, etc., and could I "hold down the fort" for the day.

I am not bored and find plenty to do when I wish to, and do nothing for a while if I so choose.  I had no "adjustment" to make at all when I retired.  It was as if I was emerging from a dark cave out into a sunlit, warm world.

[Sooner]

@aroc3435 You said exactly the way I feel about it!  In this day and age there's no reason to be bored!  

[sunshine45]

we own our own business.

if if keeps being successful/profitable we have absolutely no plans to retire.

it is easy to plan my getaways and time off.

cannot even imagine being retired.

of course, i may change my mind at some point.