Community Chat

[Eileen in Virginia]

When my 98 year old Aunt died last year, we used a picture that was probably taken about 10 years ago. It was taken at a professional portrait event hosted by her church and she just looked vibrant and lovely in it. In the last couple of years of her life, she looked very frail (physically) and her friends "back home" might not have recognized her. Although we had plenty of pictures of her as a young woman, the portrait we used was so nice that using it was a no brainer. We also used it for the prayer card distributed at her funeral.

[candys mine]

@Travone  EXACTLY.

[LindaSal]

I get what the OP is saying.  I've often wondered about that myself.  We have a local free newspaper in our area that comes out once a week.  I usually check the obits,

don't know why as I'm not that old but it amazes me (and depresses me) at some of the younger ages of people passing away.  Anyway, regarding the photos I think a lot of older people just don't have many recent pictures.  People don't seem to take a lot of them anymore, unless you're young and do a lot of selfies??   

When my mom passed 12 years ago now (2012) we opted to use a picture of her from when my daughter was born in 1983.  She looked beautiful in that photo at 49 years of age and actually didn't look that different when she passed at 77.

[Stray]

I also have thought about that. But as others said, many wouldn’t recognize a photo of the deceased if they were friends a long time ago.
A friend of mine just passed away & tho it wasn’t an old photo, it depicted his character; it showed the twinkle in his eyes. He was memorable for his great, dry wit & his eyes twinkled before he delivered a pithy remark. So the picture captured his outstanding feature. Im sure the family selected that particular picture because that expression was always present the entire 40 years I knew him. So a picture should capture the essence of the person not so much a time in his/her life. So if a person was always happy, smiling, laughing & healthy, that’s how he/she should be remembered or as people knew him/her.

[RetRN]

I like it when they use a picture of when they were in their prime, it is much more relatable to those who haven't seen them in many years.

[Carmie]

I don't think it is strange.  I have seen old photos used for obits for as long as I can remember.

Last week, I saw one that was definitely a child.  The person who passed was in his 50's.  I was drawn to the picture and read the obit.  The man was disabled and had disfigurements on his face because of his illness.  You could see the child's face was not perfect, but it was probably better than his face he had now.

What ever the reasoning the family uses a younger picture is okay by me.  Obits are super expensive.  They are easily $1500 or more for the basic info and adding a picture makes them even more costly, so using two pics is cost prohibited for most. They used to be a couple of hundred dollars, but those days are gone.

If I pass first, I know the picture my husband will use for me.  His favorite is the picture I had taken for my cosmotology license.  He carries that pic in his wallet.  I am only 18 in that pic.

[Imaoldhippie]

I thought most of the time that the deceased did not have a recent picture.

[beckyb1012]

I prefer and really like the older photos of when they were younger.  I especially love when the men are in their armed service uniforms from so many decades ago. 

It gives us a visual window into their past life, not just words written by someone.

[Kachina624]

I guess if the QVC face creams don't work, it's one way of off-setting wrinkles and appearing to be forever young.

Boggling my mind is the new practice of putting a QR code on the headstone where people can click with their cells to read the entire biographies of the deceased.

Imagine archeologists in 200 or more years trying to figure out what those things are.

[Tinkrbl44]

I'm guessing that families often use the deceased's "favorite" pic, regardless of when it was taken.