Community Chat

[781Florist]

Now that we live in the digital age and most newspapers 

are defunct, I often check the funeral home obituaries in my town online.

Something I've noticed for a few years now has puzzled me. 

Often I will see an obit and it jumps out at me because the individual in the picture is in their 20s, 30s, or 40s.

(Which, while certainly possible is generally not the time of life that most folks pass.)

However when reading the obituary it will say what date the person passed and then something like "He (She) was 79" (Or even late 80s etc...)

Does anyone else think that is strange?  I would think a picture of yourself that actually looks like who you are

would help to notify folks of your passing.

I guess people who knew you 40 years ago would be helped!

[AngelPuppy1]

I think probably some people use a picture of when they probably felt they were at their best or looked their best!  I know for myself I have done my final plans and I submitted a picture for my obit from about 15 years ago.  It still looks like me but I felt I looked really nice in it and not the way I look now, which I am not happy about.  

[avid shopper]

I think it is weird too.  I have seen, occasionally, obits with both a picture of youth and current.  That's a little better.

[CalminHeart]

It's up to the family or deceased's wishes as to what picture is used. It doesn't matter to the rest of us. It's one of those myob issues.

My dad died at Christmas. We got down to 2 pictures....one was fairly recent and one was 20 years ago. There are 7 of us kids. The majority wanted the 20 year old picture. While I didn't like using it, it's still Dad. 

[DrakesMomma]

I know without a doubt if I die before my husband he will use a self portrait I did when I was 20 years old.  It is his favorite picture of me.  

[charsha]

When my Mom passed, the family opted to use a photo of her in her 20's. She looked like a movie star.  She died at 94, and was very young looking for her age. I would have opted for a more recent photo next to the earilier one, as more people would have recognized her in her current day, and maybe not pass by the actual obit. JMO

[ThinkingOutLoud]

I like seeing the 'back then' photos - it's like a step back in time. It's fun to see the clothes/hairstyles of that era and the quaility of the photos seems different.

I also like the idea of using both a mid-20s and a more recent photo. Kind of like a 'now and then' thing.

To me, an obit is about how you want to be remembered and that would include the way you look.

[Iwantcoffee]

No. I don't think it is strange. Family should use the picture they like for their love one. I do think it is unkind to criticize people for what they do after a love ones dies. One of my twins passed away at 30 and his obit was a picture in his younger years that I loved of him. 

[Carolina925]

It's always seemed strange to me. I live in a community that's heavy on retired people who have come here through the years. I'm guessing the pictures are more for people the deceased knew when they were younger and for where they originally came from. I do like when the family shares pictures from the deceased past on the obits posted by the funeral homes. There was a lady I knew from school, many years ago, who had Alzheimer's and her face had drastically changed. This lady was very beautiful in her younger days, looking possibly like a Hollywood starlet when they were so beautiful. The picture the family chose for her obit was a present picture in her hospital bed where one could not even imagine it was the same person. To each his/her own, and, while I don't completely agree what those left behind do, I understand there may be reasons, even if I don't understand them.

[Travone]

I have friends in the funeral business and I asked them about this awhile ago. 

Families di this because many friends haven't seen the deceased for years and would not recognize them from a current picture.   The older picture is so old friends can recognize them.