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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,601
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: OT/My Brother passed away during the night

Hi Lucy,Tissyanne and Shop,

Thanks for still stopping by here and checking in. Sat was a week that Tommy had passed away and it was a hard day. There is a memorial planned in May for him in Long Beach NY where we grew up. It will be aloofly memorial and his ashes will be taken out to sea bu a friend on his surfboard.Toy was a surfer.

The town Tommy lived in did a segment about him on the news. He was quite the social worker in Richmond and had accomplished so very much. It was quite nice,my niece sent it to me so I saw it.I am unable to go to the Memorial,so not well at this time and waiting for tests. I wish I could be there but its not possible.

Shop hope your Mom i doing ok with her treatments,it must be so hard to see her go through all that. My Mom is failing,her mind is going and I fear we will have to place her in a facility soon. Alzheimers is a horrendous disease,its taken my Mom away from us,this is not my Mother anymore.

Thank you all for the prayers,I appreciate it more then I can say.

We do not remember days,we remember moments.
The Rainbow Bridge!!!
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,933
Registered: ‎09-02-2011

Re: OT/My Brother passed away during the night

(Giving you a {#emotions_dlg.wub}hug, beauty 'j' )

That is a very high compliment that you have given to us, about Tommy. I had remembered prior to his passing, you had told us he helped so many people. He was such a fine man who loved God. His faith of God's care was what touched my husband and me.

Traveling from Florida to New York is quite a trip for you, with your health maladies. I would know that entertaining thinking of the trip to the airport in your area's heat and the heavy humidity, not to mention the standing for boarding, then the sitting approximately under two hours+.

No, I would begin to *believe it would set you back *( I would think )* being worse than you are already. You have to have thin cool air most of the time-or air filtered through the cooler months. By the month of May in New York, the weather would beginning to be 10 degrees higher -than this time, now. You have no idea, either if there would be rain or traffic to tend to with your journey.

I certainly can understand the reasoning behind why you would want to see your mother, though. That may be a possiblity in the future. I even thought that possibly Cindy could travel with her by bus to your home. Again, that is really testing the condition she may be in as the weeks go by. You would know more of her condition -day to day- better than I.

Do you possibly think that a train commute would be something that your mother could handle?

Did you say TOY was a surfer? The friend who will scatter his ashes? That piece of news from the paper had to be so very special, especially knowing of all of his friends remembering~ It was to me~.

I can only imagine the hurt that you are going through. I can tell you this, that Tommy knows your ever thought.

We never know what health issues will be for us, at any given time. You have done wonderful with 'all of this'. Believe me, you have. Let me know, share it with all of the posters when you get any test results.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,224
Registered: ‎12-07-2012

Re: OT/My Brother passed away during the night

Hi beauty, I want you to know that I have been thinking about you. Take care of yourself, and get plenty of rest. Smiley Happy
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,601
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: OT/My Brother passed away during the night

NAES thank you o much for everything you said about Tommy. I just posted that he is being honored by the veterans hospital he worked at. He truly made a difference in his life even being confined to a chair for more then half of it.

Yes Tommy was surfer and his friend will be bringing his ashes out to sea. So there will be tow memorials for him and I can't attend either. I really don't feel too well and now I have welts and hives all over me. This hasn't happened since I first got sick with lupus. Maybe its all the stress,I don't know.My Mom will never be able to travel to see me so I hope with in the next few months I can get to NC to see her. She asked me to come and I felt terrible saying I can't right now but I am going to try to hope for June.Thank you for everything.

Tissyanne thank you for thinking of me.I am ok,sad and miss Tommy and worried about my Mom but I know someday we will all be together again so thats how I survive. I know that one day my Mom will be healthy again and my brother will be standing to greet her,what a joyous day that will be.

We do not remember days,we remember moments.
The Rainbow Bridge!!!
Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,712
Registered: ‎01-16-2015

Re: OT/My Brother passed away during the night

Beauty junkie I am so sorry about the loss of your Brother. My prayers will be with you & your family.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,224
Registered: ‎12-07-2012

Re: OT/My Brother passed away during the night

Beauty, I think what you just wrote about your brother standing to greet your Mom is very nice, and a pleasant focus. I have had hives, and they are miserable. I have a suggestion for you. Think of something that brings you peace, and calm, then focus on this. Breathe deep. Do this often, and see if it will help some. Take care of yourself, Cookie needs you, and depends on you.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,151
Registered: ‎04-16-2010

Re: OT/My Brother passed away during the night

The news about Tommy's memorial and plaque by his colleagues is so heartwarming (even to your friends who didn't know him but learned about Tommy and his life through you). He was a man to be admired by many and dearly missed by his loved ones. I'm still praying for you to get relief from your physical pain and comfort for your losses.
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,933
Registered: ‎09-02-2011

Re: OT/My Brother passed away during the night

I will try to catch up from two threads, so forgive me if I sound a bit scattered. I do understand about the 'hives'. Absolutely, stress can and will show symptoms from something else, even any new medications. Did you say that your doctor was (maybe) giving you some trigger injections to off set the major stress about two weeks ago? I had a friend a few years ago traveling to live elsewhere after a death of a relationship. After she arrived to her new address with family, she developed a horrible condition of hives throughout her entire body. This was the `after the fact` - the marriage was over but the divorce had not been legalized.

She was, as I understand, so depressed, staying in close quarters -crying- that the hives appeared. She had no idea that her emotional distress had caused hives, but family members insisted she see their family doctor immediately. I have no idea what the medication was or how long the office appointments continued, but with a lot of support and intervention, she was rid of the skin problem.

Having lupus can bring on many unexpected symptoms, especially if introducing different medications. That is why I asked, if you had any newer medications, especially steroids for trigger points?

All of these emotions running wild can cause headaches to a greater disturbance in bodily functions. I will be back, touching on those symptoms- syndromes later, after I hear from you. No hurry, please. You need to rest more and not dwell on the what you cannot do, rather... what is best for you, having control. Do not place any guilt on what is the impossible.

lovinly, _Naes

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,601
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: OT/My Brother passed away during the night

Just wanted to say thank you,to all of you.Fortunately my hives are just about gone. Could have been stress,not sure but just glad they are going away.

Naes the only new medication was I switched form Zyrtec to Clariton so maybe I was allergic not sure but went back to Zyrtec cause Clariton caused severe palpitations. I am still waiting for my ins co to approve my doppler of my heart and lung function test. Somethings affecting my breathing and I hope it can be helped. If its from costrondritis I would hate to stay this way. Feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest and I can't get enough air into my lungs. The breathing part is relatively new,the chest discomfort has been for months now.

Thanks everyone for caring about my family and me,we are all hanging in there and my Mom has some good moments and then bad but we are happy for the good ones.

We do not remember days,we remember moments.
The Rainbow Bridge!!!
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,933
Registered: ‎09-02-2011

Re: OT/My Brother passed away during the night

beauty 'j', you explained to me about the two antihistamines very well. I can relate to {any} antihistamine(s) being about the same for myself. I just can not take them. I have not taken anything as strong as these two that you speak of for myself, though.

This would absolutely explain the decrease of any hives thus far. They may return, so staying with the Zyrtec, providing your doctor knows the amount and how often sound better. All antihistamines, as with other medications are not the same. They make me very sleepy. I had taken maybe (2) within the past year- the non-drowsy formula/ otc/ generic. I (almost)cannot tolerate any type of medications. So, I would or could relate to something like (Clariton) resulting as a rapid heart beat for me. Especially for you: any change in high blood pressure or having blood pressure. I do not have high blood pressure; you can understand why, now, the reaction you had.

As I told you two weeks ago, Costochondritis is similar (in some symptoms) to Tietze syndrome. I am sure you have heard of this before?

I feel very disappinted in the health sys. not to approve your Doppler/lung function testing, though. As you explained: it's like an elephant (pressure weight ) sitting on your chest wall. In fact, the inflammation is so pronounced around the breastbone or rib area- that when it presses hard against the tissues of chest wall cartilage, the breathing is more labored. Yes, I understand. Also, I have heard the same description from other patients. Once, was like being hit by a mack truck.

I will get back to you about asking -about MOM-.

With that, there will be a lot of calling and research in finding a facility for an A1 nursing care center for the Alzheimer's patient, not a building called a nursing home. I am hoping -MOM- is with your sister or a reliable caregiver until you build up strength in finding the best place. I have little faith in N. homes-period!

I have no way in knowing the condition of -MOM- at this time. A Hospice center have the best nurse care (usually) -depends on the facility. They, the Alzheimer's center have volunters, also do the Hospice centers. Very emotional decision to take on. You will need your sister for sure to help.

I will try to offer suggestions in where to start, or maybe someone can interject who has supreme expertise on this subject?