Community Chat

[Annabellethecat66]

My late husband and I (and now my adult daughters) have always given gifts and money to everyone and everything that happens in our family.

We have never received a thank you note over the years from anyone.  

Don't people send thank you notes anymore?  Is it just my pain in the neck extended family that doesn't know how to write or buy a stamp?

[september]

When my kids graduated from high school (the last one was in 2007), home parties were the norm.

The past 4 graduation parties I've gone to since then, were in restaurants.  Yes, the parents spent more money on the very nice meals the guests were served...I don't have a problem with saying that part of my gift to the graduate went to reimbursing the parents for the nice dinner.  I did enjoy the night very much, and also wanted to make a contribution to the graduate to help with college expenses.

[Lila Belle]

We give a $100 bill to family, $50 for a friend's child.

[jonbon]

I have a recent high school graduate. Most of the cash gifts she received were in the $50-$100 range. She was thrilled! (And, yes, she has already sent thank you notes to all who were generous enough to give gifts of any kind.)

[queendiva]

Give what you can. We keep the gift amounts modest among my family members. My sons were thrilled to receive $40.00 for their HS graduations a few years ago.

[Irshgrl31201]

I think you should give whatever you would like to give. $50 sounds just fine. I think the people throwing the party should have absolutely NO EXPECTATION to have the cost of your meals covered with the gift. They decided to throw the party and a fancy one at that. Would they not throw the party if the guest didn't cover their own dinners? Gifts while lovely and something I always give when I go to one of these, are not required. They are throwing the party, if they can't afford to throw a fancy one, they should scale it back but the guests should absolutely not be required to cover the price of their meals. 

[AKgirl2]

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@JeanLouiseFinch wrote:

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@AKgirl2 wrote:

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@missy1 wrote:

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@AKgirl2 wrote:

I think your "gift" should cover both your meals, and the graduation gift...thinking at least $100...

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I have never heard of the "cover your meals" until I started posting here, way back when.

Crazy talk. (not you, just the idea)

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This was back in 70's, but my dad would always say you've got to at least cover your dinner(s) plus the gift...just how we rolled, and I do the same

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My understanding is that this has always been the rule of thumb for wedding gifts.  I wouldn't consider the same for a HS graduation.  But then again, the HS graduation parties I've been to have all be at the family's home in the form of an open house.

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True as rule of thumb for weddings...but an affair in a home with beverages, variety of food (hot/cold) and desert is quite an expense as well.  Bottom line is it's your decision as to the amount you give.

[AKgirl2]

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@walkingal wrote:

$50 sounds good to me.  My niece just graduated from high school.  I wasn't invited to her graduation, but she sent me an announcement.  I mailed her a check for $50.  I thought that was sufficient under the circumstances -- I never hear from her parents and rarely from her.  Ultimately, you should give whatever is best for you. 

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That was very nice of you...shame there's no communication.😕

[AKgirl2]

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@september wrote:

When my kids graduated from high school (the last one was in 2007), home parties were the norm.

The past 4 graduation parties I've gone to since then, were in restaurants.  Yes, the parents spent more money on the very nice meals the guests were served...I don't have a problem with saying that part of my gift to the graduate went to reimbursing the parents for the nice dinner.  I did enjoy the night very much, and also wanted to make a contribution to the graduate to help with college expenses.

That is very nice and generous of you. I'm sure it was much appreciated.

[colliegirls]

Our youngest just graduated and we had lunch out afterward for family and friends. I certainly have never thought that a meal out should have anything to do with the money amount gifted to our child.