Community Chat

[CalminHeart]

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@JoyFilled Warrior wrote:

Hi @Forum_Friends

EACH & EVERY person, without fail, who comes into my home, (whether I know them well, or a relative stranger),  help themselves, man-handle my home's items.  They pick them up, look them over more closely, & shake them, or smell them, whichever seems indicated. 

      Often they say:  "I could really use this item." Like my home is some kind of Gift Shop! 

My mouth drops open, in shock, EVERY TIME.  

You'd think Id get used to this, but instead, it continues to shock me!  The "Entitlement" they think they have!

This never, ever fails with a visitor!

Now, granted, I do have some nice, sometimes innovative items, or items I've taken great care of.

But,  I was raised, certainly, NEVER to help ourselves, & pick up, handle, inspect a person's home items, (let alone also say "I could really use this item.")

One person came here, who I know, & as I was in the kitchen, making us a Cappuccino, she'd reached over, apparently helping herself to my HSN wig boxes, & *BAM* tipped over my remaining 2 other wig boxes. No apology.  Not embarrassed, what so ever.  As if, ENTITLED.

2 days ago, the 2 young girls I pay to empty trash, picked up a flowered, sachet envelope on the desk beside my front door.  Shaking it, Smelling it.  She hugged it, as if intending to walk away with it. Then she picked up the remaining one & handed it to her nearby cousin, at her elbow,  who hesitated, then hugged the sachet she'd given to her.  The audacity! Shocked, yet again, my mouth dropped. 

Overnight, I hung up "TOUCH NOTHING" signs all over items here.   Made no difference!

When the same 2 young girls came over again today, the cousin helped herself to the exact same kind of, newly replaced, sachet envelope on the table beside the door.  She helped herself to it, smelling it again.  I looked at her & pointed to the nearby sign that reads, "TOUCH NOTHING." 

    She was OFFENDED!!  Giving me Attitude - Like touching, picking up my items was her birth right;  My obligation to let her! 

    I asked her,, "what'd you do with the one you already have?"  She said, "It's on my dresser."  I felt like saying:  "Well go smell your own!  Leave my own remaining one alone!"

Is this the norm now, in society? 

And     NO  "PLEASE"  &    NO  "THANK YOU"

And    NO   "APOLOGIZE"   any more.

       ~  ~  ENTITLEMENT?  ~  ~

No embarrassment?     No shame?    No hesitation?

(Ppl coming over yr home, helping themselves, to lift up, & pick over your house items, (plus, often saying, "I could really use this."))  

   And they give back "Attitude" when they're caught, deterred, or denied!

Does facsimile above ever happen to you??

Do you notice any exhibited increase in *ENTITLEMENT*   in ppl now?  TIA

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I call it natural human behavior and nothing to think twice about. 

Have you considered putting everything under glass or in a glass cabinet?

[CalminHeart]

If kids behaved like that in my house, I'd say something to them (and I have).

I wouldn't yell or anything because I can be firm and kind at the same time...and still not overstep with the parent/s.

[CalminHeart]

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@CalminHeart wrote:

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@JoyFilled Warrior wrote:

Hi @Forum_Friends

EACH & EVERY person, without fail, who comes into my home, (whether I know them well, or a relative stranger),  help themselves, man-handle my home's items.  They pick them up, look them over more closely, & shake them, or smell them, whichever seems indicated. 

      Often they say:  "I could really use this item." Like my home is some kind of Gift Shop! 

My mouth drops open, in shock, EVERY TIME.  

You'd think Id get used to this, but instead, it continues to shock me!  The "Entitlement" they think they have!

This never, ever fails with a visitor!

Now, granted, I do have some nice, sometimes innovative items, or items I've taken great care of.

But,  I was raised, certainly, NEVER to help ourselves, & pick up, handle, inspect a person's home items, (let alone also say "I could really use this item.")

One person came here, who I know, & as I was in the kitchen, making us a Cappuccino, she'd reached over, apparently helping herself to my HSN wig boxes, & *BAM* tipped over my remaining 2 other wig boxes. No apology.  Not embarrassed, what so ever.  As if, ENTITLED.

2 days ago, the 2 young girls I pay to empty trash, picked up a flowered, sachet envelope on the desk beside my front door.  Shaking it, Smelling it.  She hugged it, as if intending to walk away with it. Then she picked up the remaining one & handed it to her nearby cousin, at her elbow,  who hesitated, then hugged the sachet she'd given to her.  The audacity! Shocked, yet again, my mouth dropped. 

Overnight, I hung up "TOUCH NOTHING" signs all over items here.   Made no difference!

When the same 2 young girls came over again today, the cousin helped herself to the exact same kind of, newly replaced, sachet envelope on the table beside the door.  She helped herself to it, smelling it again.  I looked at her & pointed to the nearby sign that reads, "TOUCH NOTHING." 

    She was OFFENDED!!  Giving me Attitude - Like touching, picking up my items was her birth right;  My obligation to let her! 

    I asked her,, "what'd you do with the one you already have?"  She said, "It's on my dresser."  I felt like saying:  "Well go smell your own!  Leave my own remaining one alone!"

Is this the norm now, in society? 

And     NO  "PLEASE"  &    NO  "THANK YOU"

And    NO   "APOLOGIZE"   any more.

       ~  ~  ENTITLEMENT?  ~  ~

No embarrassment?     No shame?    No hesitation?

(Ppl coming over yr home, helping themselves, to lift up, & pick over your house items, (plus, often saying, "I could really use this."))  

   And they give back "Attitude" when they're caught, deterred, or denied!

Does facsimile above ever happen to you??

Do you notice any exhibited increase in *ENTITLEMENT*   in ppl now?  TIA

---

I call it natural human behavior and nothing to think twice about. 

Have you considered putting everything under glass or in a glass cabinet?

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I meant that touching things is natural human behavior. See my other comment regarding misbehaving kids. 

[CelticCrafter]

When they come knocking on the door why are you opening it and then letting them in?

Get some of your own Chutzpah you're complaining about.

[Karie2022]

I can honeslty say I have never had anyone enter my home and take things or pick them up and inspect them; maybe a very young child as they are curious.  But even for them, their parents will tell them to put it down. Odd.

[Group 5 minus 1]

Because our driveway is so long and our home is not not visible from the road,we had signs made that said NO TRESPASSING. Of course a few poeple ignored the signs and came up the driveway to sell us stuff. We would always confront and ask,"can't you read the sign?" I think just hanging a sign is not the answer,confrontation is.

[LizzieInSRQ]

@JoyFilled Warrior 

Stop the employment of the trash takers. They sound like they case stuff out to steal and treating you like a little old lady that they can fool. Immediately stop their services, no drama, no accusations, just end it period. Hard stop. and figure something else out if you can not physically take the trash out yourself.

Take down your "TOUCH NOTHING" signs. It just adversises that you have a screw loose. No one should need to have signs everywhere like that  in a home. Businesses and museums do.

Reconsider what it is that people are picking up....valuable or trash ...why... reassess whether these objects should be out in common areas or perhaps secured in your private quarters.

My opinion is a bit harsh maybe but i think you exaggerate that EVERY VISITOR is doing this when the majority of people have never experienced this behavior other than children who naturally lack impulse control and have natural couriosity and dont have mental capacity at young age for manners yet. If young literally like 10 and under kids are doing this you simply say in a kind tone, no dont touch, thank you and take it out of their hand if necessary. If adults are doing this, who are these people? Do you know them personally or are they people from businesses casing your stuff out? 

You can only control yourself and your environment. Not other people to a point, if all of these people are hired help, get a more reputable company to manage your home. If they are relatives and friends ask them what happened if you are out of the room and they topple or break something,. If they pick up something in front of you, tell them the story behind it since your stuff is so fascinating. 

[Imaoldhippie]

Good grief stop inviting or letting people into your home.

@JoyFilled Warrior 

[We rescue cats]

@Imaoldhippie I fully understand what you are saying and appreciate and agree with your thoughts, but apparently this is not the world we live in today. I would not dream of going into another's home and picking up anything from a table or elsewhere. I was taught that as a child, some lessons just stay with us I guess. If there is something interesting that I want to look at more closely I ask the host or hostess if I am able to look at it more closely. Common courtesy to me, but I guess it is an old fashioned value. FYI-I would do this at my closest friend's home and do the same at the home of a family member.

[wagirl]

I have NEVER ever had that happen in my home---ever!! I have never ever had to tell anyone, friend or stranger to keep their hands off my stuff---I have never been in someones home where I would just go fondle any of their things out on display ---