Not A Bash BUT an Opinion please

DowntonAbbey · ‎03-09-2010

I do not go out or on line looking for someone to date........they usually want to meet me through friends on Facebook and in community groups in my area.........so back in the last of July I think or maybe the middle of July a 53 year old man sent me a friend request and we talked on Facebook in private and on my Facebook page he would make comments.......finally we decided to meet for coffee at a large bookstore..........and when he came in and sat down we talked a bit and then he said "wow, you are more gorgeous in person than on Facebook" well of course I was excited to hear that but I was also thinking OK YES WHAT else???? But we got along and he acted so crazy about me and then he came to my home and we talked and watched tv and he lives an hour away but his mother lives here..........he has no children and he is very close to his mother and I like that but when he is here and she calls he goes outside to talk to her and basically I see him two nights a week, Friday night and Sunday night and that is good it is moving slowly........yet he tells me he cares for me but then he stopped calling as much and he stopped texting as much and FOR THE FIRST TIME I AM NOT CRAZY about him and that is good because I am dipping my toe instead of flying off the cliff..........as we know I have done that in the past with men........but I finaly said to him "It makes me happy when you text me good morning and call me and say goodnight and see how my day is and you are not doing that like you used to do" then he says "I care for you and I get busy and I am not used to having a girlfriend, usually no one stays with me over 3 months"...........so I felt like he realized I need or want a good morning text and a goodnight callll..........that is all I am asking for and he will do it for two days and quit and so then I really got upset with him and said WHY are you not doing what is free and I have told you makes me happy and he said he is sorry and I said GIVE ME SOMETHING TO HANG ON TO YOU BECAUSE I DON'T THINK YOU ARE REALLY INTO ME.............but he says he is........he did take me to the airport over two hours away when I went to see my family and he did pick me up driving over two hours this week but I am also sick and was at the doctor in Houston last Monday and he knows I am sick and he always comes to town on Sunday to see his mother and do everything for her even though he has two other brothers and I am happy he helps her...........so today..........I have not gotten one call about HOW ARE YOU FEELING? He knows by text that my friend brought me soup and crackers Friday and Saturday because I was too sick to drive..........so right now it is after 9:30 Sunday night and I know that he is watching the debate but still no text today no good morning or how are you feeling I know you are on antibiotics NOTHING............I have decided that if he does not stop by after this debate on his way home which should be by 11 pm and he does not call me tonight I am no longer going to answer when he calls or texts.............IF HE Cared enough he would check on me and he would say good morning each morning and would call me and night and one time he said to me WHY DO YOU NOT CALL ME.......so I did that for a few weeks but I am not doing it anymore........if a man is interested in a woman he will swim through alligators to get to her..............I just want your opinions........I think he is really not into me and has lost his desire to be my boyfriend even though he says he is and I have not met his mother either nor has he ever invited me to church even though I do not go on Sundays I would go with him and his mother. So, I just want to know what you ladies and men have to say...........this is not for drama and yes I write a book but you have to know the story for an honest opinion. I am not really lonely now with my new female friends that I really enjoy and do things with........but at times I do want to date some so its hard when we are alone to draw a line of tolerance and then watch them step over it. I think he is just basically stupid because we never talk, and when I give him room to talk he says nothing? Thank you.

HappyDaze · ‎06-13-2012

This situation sounds similar to my husband's aunt and it turns out those phone calls to his "mother" was actully to his wife. And he would only visit on certain days, just like you mentioned and said he lived with his mom but never brought her to his house or introduced her to his mother -he only came to her house- and they rarely ever went out anywhere in public, usually he only went over to her house. Not to be rude but have you thought that perhaps he has another girlfriend and is playing you?

StraytoStay · ‎07-18-2016

It sounds like he doesn't care as much as would be expected. Things would only get worse if you tried to make it work. I'd move on. You could end up wasting time with the wrong guy & miss the right one doing so. Good luck!

MacDUFF · ‎05-29-2015

He's just not that into you.

I hope you find someone who is...ain't nothin' like the real thing, baby.

~~~ I call dibs on the popcorn concession!! ~~~

DowntonAbbey · ‎03-09-2010

Oddly no.......he seems to stupid to play me....he is as boring a burnt toast.

sunshine45 · ‎03-09-2010

all of his excuses or habits sound suspicious.

you find him boring.

are you divorced yet?

to me, this is a no brainer. easy to just cut it off now.

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"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

KarenQVC · ‎05-13-2010

There is something very odd here. Sorry, but many of us have learned that lots of men are liars. He could have a wife, a girlfriend, or a male lover--or lots of other things. I would have a background check on him STAT.

DowntonAbbey · ‎03-09-2010

I totally agree, he is just not into me...........and I am glad to see him when he comes but bascially after telling him what bothers me and he keeps doing it, I am done and really do not miss him because I am getting nothing.......I needed help to wash my car to get the tree sap that blows in the wind on my car and he said GO GET A BRUSH and do it yourself your are not helpless..............I wanted help getting the sap off because it is dried on and I don't have the strength so I paid someone to HANDWASH IT and they used a brush and my car has brush strokes in circles ugh I HOPE IT COMES OUT IF THEY WAX IT.............so he would not even help me wash my car I did not ask him to wash it. I am just glad he picked me up at the airport and he was kind and did give me $30 in tip money for the plane. STILL, you don't call and check on me...........He has my house key because I needed to leave it with him so he could come by and check on things while I was away but I do not believe he would ever steal anything. I need to get my key back.