I'd like to hear your thoughts on this situation.
DH and I have each been previously married. He raised his 3 children from his first marriage. I have no children. We married after living together for about 15 years, which was after his kids were out on their own. One child has her own family and the other two are still single, but all have been working for years.
I have never been one too high on marriage -- I don't believe that a piece of paper and a ritual makes a necessarily happy lifetime commitment. In fact, the only reason we legally married was to benefit us regarding a business decision. Otherwise, there was really no reason for us to marry.
Let me insert the critical piece of information here . . . DH and I have our own "money". We have each worked extremely hard our whole lives and saved every penny. We are of a like mind when it comes to money and finances. We are independently "comfortable." We agreed when we met that his money was his and mine was mine. Our money is completely separate and we manage our money as separate individuals. Please, I am not asking for your judgement on this aspect of our relationship. This separation of money has worked seamlessly for us and I strongly believe it is responsible for our relationship's tremendous success. (after all, aren't money problems the #1 reason for divorce?) So DH's money will be left to his 3 children - none to me -- and I respect that 100%. Back to the story . . .
DH's children are basically good kids, but like so many (too many, I think) in the generation before us, they are not as financially responsible as us and do not know the value of money. They make decent livings, but I have no idea what they spend their money on. They have each asked their dad over the years for "loans", which he has gladly given them. I don't believe they have repaid him, which is ok because as he has said, his money is going to be left to them anyway.
Here's the kicker. [Before you gasp . . . again, PLEASE understand that we are non-traditionalists and please understand that "marriage" is no more than a piece of paper and legality to us, which we did not need in order to be committed to each other in every other way. We have been very happily together for 25 years now.] His children do not know that we are married. It serves no purpose for them to know.
Last week, his oldest daughter, who makes well over $100,000/year (and single) asked him for a loan.
My concern is, if his kids find out we are married, can they go after my money? Does anyone know if there is a way I can protect my money from his children? Is a "divorce" now the only option?
I certainly did not expect his very grown, working children to still have their hand(s) out at this stage of their lives and it concerns me in regard to the money I have worked so hard to save over the course of my lifetime.
I know this situation may seem really weird to a lot of you. I appreciate your input. TIA.
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